RE: Depression in your life and play

RE: Depression in your life and play (Full Version)

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popeye1250 -> RE: Depression in your life and play (7/31/2006 6:52:45 PM)
In my drinking days I noticed that the booze would really agravate the Bi-Polar symptoms. I could litterally stay awake for two days and nights drinking with no sleep. Any "normal" person would be getting ready to passout after 8 hours of drinking but not me, that would just be priming the pump! And I'd sitdown and write 8 & 10 page letters to senators and congressmen about various issues. In a way I kind of liked the manic periods because I could get a lot done. Once when I first started violin lessons I was working on a difficult song that my teacher gave me but I was in a manic cycle. I practised that song for four hours straight until the muscle cramps in my left hand got so bad I just couldn't play anymore. I told my teacher about it and she flipped! lol "Tom! You can't practise for four hours, you'll hurt yourself!!!" So, I guess there are "some" good things about being manic. I did learn that song and played it perfectly for her.

enigmabrat -> RE: Depression in your life and play (7/31/2006 6:54:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SusanofO enigmabrat: Good question.You know how bi-polar (manic depressive) people have "highs" and "lows"? Well - uni-polar depressives only have "lows". Really low lows. They never swing up to feeling "high", or even settle somewhere in the middle, as far as their mood. They just always feel down. - Susan Ah so basicaly chronic depression (I know all about bipoler as I am bipoler myself)

KatyLied -> RE: Depression in your life and play (7/31/2006 6:56:33 PM)
Interesting story. I have a friend who is bi-polar. He says he sometimes misses the hypo manic stages, until he remembers the unrelenting depression (he is bi-polar II). He can remember cleaning the house, starting projects, writing poetry, all simultaneously.

SusanofO -> RE: Depression in your life and play (7/31/2006 6:57:31 PM)
I have a friend who is bi-polar. She is a very successful graphic designer, and mid-level manager at the company where she works. Before she found out she was bi-polar, she drank a lot, and also did some really great paintings and drawing overnight that otherwise would ave taken her a week, she said. She said the energy spurt could be very useful re:Mania, but that it was taxing in other ways, (like emptying her checking account). I imagine manic phases can come in handy. The depresson part I am sure most could live without. - Susan

SusanofO -> RE: Depression in your life and play (7/31/2006 7:04:40 PM)
enigmabrat: Yes. I guess the medical profession thought it needed more than one label (as if things can't be confusing enough sometimes). [:D] - Susan

popeye1250 -> RE: Depression in your life and play (7/31/2006 7:10:36 PM)
Katy, yup! I'd have the laundry going the house cleaned up, scour out the bathrooms, cut three acres of lawn, go shopping, practice my fiddle for a couple of hours, it was amazing the things I could get done! Susan, yup, I spent a lot of money too! Gave a bunch to charities, bought gifts for people, one time I bought my brother-in-law a $129 field coat from L.L. Bean and I don't even like the bastard!

popeye1250 -> RE: Depression in your life and play (7/31/2006 7:20:32 PM)
Yes, after being manic for days the "crash" can be pretty hellish. I'd sleep for 12-15 hours and the next few days would be hell hungover or detoxing, and depressed as hell as Brat can tell you I'm sure.

SusanofO -> RE: Depression in your life and play (7/31/2006 7:25:40 PM)
This may seem a little corny, but - Here's a little thing that happened to me once, that let me know: 1) God does exist (least I think so, but was having some strong doubts about it at the time this happened, which this somewhat helped to abate a bit) 2) People with depression really do sometimes believe nothing good will happen to them, ever again. I never win anything in contests, raffles, etc. Ever. I was 20 years old, and in the throes of a depressive episode, and coping the best I could. Anyway, my grandmother was selling church raffle tickets. She wanted me to buy one, but she lent me the dollar to do that because I was short the day she came by to sell them. Three weeks go by, and I am in bed but not sleeping, despite the fact it is 2 a.m., when the phone rings. It is some man telling me I've just won the grand prize in the church raffle ($2,500). I yell at him to stop making crank calls as it's too late to be pulling that kind of thing, etc. and slam the phone down. Ten minutes go by, and he calls back and says "I am Father so-and-so of Holy Name parish. is your name Suzanne____? You've won the grand prize in the raffle tonight. I just finished cleaning up after the church's social night (at which the raffle winners were announced but one didn't need to be present to win) - and your grandma was there and she was so excited you won. She also said you owe her $1 for the ticket". It gradually sank in he was who he said he was, and I apologized profusely to him for slamming the phone down in his ear. Days later, I took both he and my grandma out for dinner with part of the winnings. - Susan

midtownATLdom -> RE: Depression in your life and play (7/31/2006 7:30:47 PM)
QuietDom, I know all too well the mindless disengagement tactics. I can't count the hours I've spent playing computer games when depressed - something I could focus on and block out the world as well as my own damaging and negative thoughts. One of the seriously dangerous things about depression is when you're down, you often don't have the drive/or ability to go get the help you need. When you get to a neutral or relatively happy state, you feel like it would be silly to go see someone when you feel ok. At least that's how it happens with me and so I have probably suffered needlessly for years without getting meds that would fix things; one of my big regrets. I tried to avoid reading this thread, just because I knew it would be reflecting things back at me, but it does help me realize I should get off my ass and do something about the condition rather than just continue to suffer the periodic episodes.

popeye1250 -> RE: Depression in your life and play (7/31/2006 7:34:35 PM)
Susan, cool! That must have got you out of your funk a bit! Good thing it wasn't me! "Father who" Yeah, sure you are you no good m%#$@&!!! "Your SISTER'S here she made $50 already you C8$%#@)!" "Go s*%$ in your hat!"

SusanofO -> RE: Depression in your life and play (7/31/2006 7:34:51 PM)
midtownATL Dom:I am so glad there's another guy on here close to Quiet Dom's age (least you look like it) who can relate this experience to him about how people "numb themselves out" in familiar ways to deal with it. These threads are so so valuabe, I think. So glad you wrote in! - Susan

popeye1250 -> RE: Depression in your life and play (7/31/2006 7:45:55 PM)
Midtown, go see a doctor about it and they'll try some different meds on you until they find one that works! It's no big deal going to get help like that! It's kind of like your brain has a broken arm or something like that. It's a chemical imbalance most likely. You'll feel a lot better about yourself after you get treatment for it I'm sure!

Alumbrado -> RE: Depression in your life and play (7/31/2006 8:14:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: midtownATLdom QuietDom, I know all too well the mindless disengagement tactics. I can't count the hours I've spent playing computer games when depressed - something I could focus on and block out the world as well as my own damaging and negative thoughts. One of the seriously dangerous things about depression is when you're down, you often don't have the drive/or ability to go get the help you need. When you get to a neutral or relatively happy state, you feel like it would be silly to go see someone when you feel ok. At least that's how it happens with me and so I have probably suffered needlessly for years without getting meds that would fix things; one of my big regrets. I tried to avoid reading this thread, just because I knew it would be reflecting things back at me, but it does help me realize I should get off my ass and do something about the condition rather than just continue to suffer the periodic episodes. One of the particualry insiduous things about this disorder, is that 'help' is often available in a framework that a non-depressed person would have no trouble negotiating, but a depressed person is ill-equipped to. Taking the initiative to make contact, following through, getting places on time, remembering things...all of these are made much harder for those stuck on the inside looking out.

midtownATLdom -> RE: Depression in your life and play (7/31/2006 8:16:55 PM)
LOL Susan, that avatar pic is Legolas (aka Orlando Bloom) from LOTR who is close to Quiet's age. I'm not actually that young, but I know the motif very well, from when I was that young all the way up 'til now. Thanks to you and Popeye for the encouragement. I am going to see what I can do about getting on some meds.

SusanofO -> RE: Depression in your life and play (7/31/2006 8:25:43 PM)
midtownATLDom: Gosh you'd think I'd know better than to make that mistake, since people occasionally ask me if my avatar is me (or say "Is that you, or Liv Tyler"?, he). Well, I thought it was nice of you to mention to QuietDom: I remember just using sleep as a mindless (un)engagement tactic (but when I went first through this, it was way before the age of computer games - the late 1970's). I am glad you're going to see about help. No need to suffer needlessly. It would be a shame to let it go on, really. - Susan

Emperor1956 -> RE: Depression in your life and play (7/31/2006 8:47:37 PM)
Regarding the "good times" during the manic cycles: people suffering from bi-polar disorder remember those parts of their lives fondly because they were driven to do SOMETHING, even though it was horribly destructive to themselves and those around them. Among the acts common to bi-polar people in severe manic stages are excessive drinking (many bi-polar people self medicate and alcohol is choice #1), violent altercations, random sex with multiple (and often, dangerous) partners, illegal acts of all sorts, car crashes, and spending excessive amounts of money. None of this is "good". There was nothing really "good" about the uncontrolled manic stages, but in contrast to the depression they seemed good.

Tapestry -> RE: Depression in your life and play (7/31/2006 11:37:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SusanofO Tapestry, thank you for your post. It was simply beautiful. - Susan Thank you Susan, it's funny, I didn't set out to write a beautiful post, just to share from my own experience and heart. You have encouraged and supported so many others on this thread. If those of us who have lived it can somehow help those who are just beginning to deal with it, and shed some light on this for those who have no experience of helping others then we've done good!

Tapestry -> RE: Depression in your life and play (7/31/2006 11:44:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DoctorDubious quote: ORIGINAL: Tapestry My experience as a clinically depressed person, .... ......... wonderful stuff snipped here... Depression has many faces, and there are no absolute answers for anyone, ......snip........more great shit... go back and read her OP! Dear Tapestry, and all.... That was a smart, sensitive, well-written and touching post. Thanks! It's stuff like your post that makes the time I spend here in this weird forum of perverts really worthwhile. DD Thank you DD. From one pervert to another, have a kinky day!

Tapestry -> RE: Depression in your life and play (8/1/2006 12:09:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: popeye1250 Katy, yup! I'd have the laundry going the house cleaned up, scour out the bathrooms, cut three acres of lawn, go shopping, practice my fiddle for a couple of hours, it was amazing the things I could get done! Susan, yup, I spent a lot of money too! Gave a bunch to charities, bought gifts for people, one time I bought my brother-in-law a $129 field coat from L.L. Bean and I don't even like the bastard! OMG - lol so true! I have gotten soooo many things done during the highs. And the oddest things would bring it on, there really is no rhyme or reason to what sends me over the edge into hyper-drive. And there's never really any idea how long it will last either. But the low periods when I sleep all the time, or spend mindless time playing video games, or reading, or poking around on the computer, pretending to be interested in the people around me, taught me to make the most of the high times! But the medications control these extreme highs and lows, and help me stay on a more even keel. I recently experienced a major emotional upset that I thought would send me to the Dr for sedatives or stronger meds, as well as thinking I was going to need additional help from the psychologist beyond the every other week appt. But I actually got through it, and coped. Prior to being on meds I would not have coped. And in fact, there is still no resolution to the upset, and yet I still cope, and I will survive. Without the meds this would not be possible.

SusanofO -> RE: Depression in your life and play (8/1/2006 12:09:49 AM)
Well Tapestry, I just had to go read it again, it was so eloquent and comprehensive. I am glad it's committed to posterity in cyberland. This thread is getting a lot of hits, and seeing it will help many more, maybe, the we will ever know. - Susan

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