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theRose4U -> RE: Self Defense? (7/29/2006 8:14:17 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SusanofO
Haven't either of you heard of "battered woman syndrome"? It is a real phenomenon, and also quite prevalent in abusive, co-dependent relationships of this sort.
I am living in the state where this happened, and I think this woman got a raw deal. I think perhaps some jail time is in order, but not the sentence she received. Her husband was a complete violent and drunken Pig. Not just to her, but to her family and their children as well - and for years on end. Saying she should have left, while it could be true (obviously things would perhaps have worked out better for her if she had done that), strikes me as not very compassionate. Where is your heart?
Where is your understanding of what it must be like to live with someone for years who is so abusive, yet feel obligated to stay for who knows what reasons? (co-dependency, family pressure to saty married, etc.) Where is your consideration not just of all of the facts, but also the possible reasons and motive for what she did - and not "just the facts"? If we all tried cases on "just the facts", I think quite a few of us might be in prison for things we did, too - don't you? Burying someone in the backyard sounds horrible (and I am not excusing it, at all) - but so do a lot of other things sound horrible. When one hears all the kinds of things he did to her - it paints quite a different picture.
- Susan
This reads completely as someone that's never been there. How fortunate for you that you can READ about things like post-traumatic disorders and battered wife syndrome to base opinions on. These stories of boo hoo he hit me and I stayed, he raped me and I stayed, he killed my child with his bare hands and I can't wait till he gets out of jail...whoops humm can you say needs a reality check??
Working with people in these situations and being a wee one FROM one of these situations I can assure you that battered wife syndrome is a cool name that someone came up for to explain the manipulation, mental illness and explainations for situations that defy all logic in situations like this. That one little word that so many in BDSM love to hang our hats on called CONSENT comes into play here. OK, he's a bad bad man, ok he's a drunk & kicks the dog and was mean to you...so why did you continue to consent by being there? Usually you get a deer in the headlights response. But he was mean to me and you should feel bad. Umm no, why did you continue to be there? But he was mean to me you should forgive the illegal thing I did. Umm no, if you knew this was a bad situation why did you continue to consent? Boo hoo hoo you're saying I deserved this. Umm no, I'm asking why you let things get this bad. But boo hoo he was mean to me and so are you because you aren't letting my manipulation of the facts sway your opinion and let me get away with not having personal responsibility for my actions.
Catching my drift? Logic & common sense don't apply well in these situations not because of the situations themselves (the evidence and facts are what they are) but because of the emotions and the mental instability of those involved. The whole arguement that he was shot in the back of the head because of imminant danger doesn't fit. The manipulation of boo hoo he was mean to me is supposed to excuse her actions and in reality it doesn't. Part of life as we know it includes people that we respect and those that we view as garbage. Unfortunately for laws to properly function, all of these people good, bad, and better off dead all have the same right to live. DAMNED CONSENT & RULES, if only we could just off those people that piss us off in life it would be a much better place, too bad that on any given day all of us could be a target of that logic. Cut me off in traffic huh ...boom you're outta here. Be a bitch to me will ya, boom you're outta here. Have an opinion that others don't like damn guess I'm uhggg gag ick ah uhhhhhhhhhh.[sm=goodnight.gif]
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