Breaking up. How and how not to say good bye.

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Breaking up. How and how not to say good bye. - 7/30/2006 8:26:05 AM

MasDom

Posts: 375
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline

Their is always that moment when two people realize that little spark has ditherd.

Sadly for us men its usually some how are fault.
But their are times its just not rite for the girl.
Or these two people were never ment to be.

The fun begins when you realize you have to say good bye.

For some the choice is simple and straight forward.
for others its the hardest thing in the world.

So I give you my oppinion on edicate.

If that other person was an ignorant fool.
Like me in all honesty.
You give it to them in what ever way you see fit.

A gag card with the words, Guess your lucky you have your two girls, because you dont have me any more! .. so tell mrs left, and mr right ... er "oh" mrs right they can have my share of it from now on.

But if they really loved you.
Just give your reasons in a calm voice and move on.

Dont destroy the person before you go.
Just leave with grace.

Post #: 1

RE: Breaking up. How and how not to say good bye. - 7/30/2006 8:34:10 AM

NastyDaddy

Posts: 957
Joined: 9/8/2004
Status: offline

psst... your cajun is showing

(in reply to MasDom)

Post #: 2

RE: Breaking up. How and how not to say good bye. - 7/30/2006 8:38:57 AM

SexyRed

Posts: 529
Joined: 8/19/2004
Status: offline

break ups are too complicated to give advice about. sometimes, one can be breaking up forever and yet, never do so entirely, especially when love was involved.

_____________________________

A trucker will slow down for a blonde, stop for a brunette, but back up 500 yards for a redhead!

(in reply to NastyDaddy)

Post #: 3

RE: Breaking up. How and how not to say good bye. - 7/30/2006 8:43:34 AM

pahunkboy

Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline

ok-

it is more painful at 1st.... but i think- being direct is better,
i been strung along- having no idea where i stand. i have also done the stringing along too--

the "your just not my type" bites at 1st. but it makes new beginnnings possible- and gets rid of false hope.

i wish i was man enuff to be that direct more often.

(in reply to SexyRed)

Post #: 4

RE: Breaking up. How and how not to say good bye. - 7/30/2006 8:52:55 AM

BrutalAntipathy

Posts: 412
Joined: 7/8/2005
Status: offline

Nothing says goodbye like a molotov cocktail lobbed through a window at 3 am.

I really did break up with one once by buying a dozen roses, taking them to her house, ringing her doorbell, and tossing them on the ground and stomping them flat when she answered.

(in reply to pahunkboy)

Post #: 5

RE: Breaking up. How and how not to say good bye. - 7/30/2006 9:05:06 AM

eroticangel

Posts: 272
Joined: 2/13/2006
Status: offline

just don't do it by cell phone...i think you owe the person face to face. My Master, well ex Master, we had been together for 4 years...called me on my cell phone as i was traveling in a highway and told me we were finished and that he had found someone else.....i had to pull over to cry.....so, i have to say face to face...tell the person why...they and you deserve the truth to set you free.

(in reply to pahunkboy)

Post #: 6

RE: Breaking up. How and how not to say good bye. - 7/30/2006 9:21:17 AM

WyrdRich

Posts: 1733
Joined: 1/3/2005
Status: offline

I was on the recieving end of this one which sucked but I must admit, it was a nifty way to handle it.

I got home from work and my girlfriend told me I had to go with our other roomie to help her drop off some stuff. The car was stuffed with full trash bags but the roomie wouldn't say where we were going. Turned out we were going to my Mother's house and the bags were full of my stuff........

(in reply to BrutalAntipathy)

Post #: 7

RE: Breaking up. How and how not to say good bye. - 7/30/2006 9:23:13 AM

TexasMaam

Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

Now THAT's priceless, Rich! Thanks for sharing.

TexasMaam

_____________________________

~ My opinions are not necessarily those of the management... ~

(in reply to WyrdRich)

Post #: 8

RE: Breaking up. How and how not to say good bye. - 7/30/2006 9:38:29 AM

FelinePersuasion

Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

I finally got tired of coming last in our relationship, It was vanilla not D.s and even if it was Ds I don't do coming last.

I told him find somebody else to beg for your time I quit. I am done begging to see you.

(in reply to TexasMaam)

Post #: 9

RE: Breaking up. How and how not to say good bye. - 7/30/2006 10:20:08 AM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NastyDaddy

psst... your cajun is showing

Hey, watch it............

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to NastyDaddy)

Post #: 10

RE: Breaking up. How and how not to say good bye. - 7/30/2006 10:28:49 AM

pahunkboy

Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline

i keep trying to break up wiht myself- but cant seem to split my assets between me and me.

damn i should not have married me!!!!

(in reply to Level)

Post #: 11

RE: Breaking up. How and how not to say good bye. - 7/30/2006 11:11:03 AM

MysticFireTopaz

Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: eroticangel
just don't do it by cell phone...i think you owe the person face to face. My Master, well ex Master, we had been together for 4 years...called me on my cell phone as i was traveling in a highway and told me we were finished and that he had found someone else.....i had to pull over to cry.....so, i have to say face to face...tell the person why...they and you deserve the truth to set you free.

I am glad you were at least able to pull over and get safely situated before having your cry. I can't believe he would break up over a cell phone when you were driving, of all things. That's potentially very dangerous. And after four years, an in-person meeting would have been the decent thing to do.

I am in favor of breaking up in person whenever possible. In one case, I did have to release a submissive by phone and e-mail because he simply would not show up for an in-person meeting as I requested. He was too ashamed to face Me after what he did, I suppose. All the other times I have broken up with someone, or they with Me, it has been in person.

The only other time I can think of where breaking up in person is not a good idea is when it could lead to a physically abusive situation. A vanilla friend of mine had dated a man for several months without incident, though she did notice he had somewhat of a quick temper and a jealous streak. One time, he came over to her house intoxicated and threatened her. She did not break up with him on the spot (wisely) because he was intoxicated and out of fear for her safety. She did telephone him later to tell him she no longer wished to see him. She didn't know how he'd react to the news in person, and didn't want to find out.

Lady Topaz

(in reply to eroticangel)

Post #: 12

RE: Breaking up. How and how not to say good bye. - 7/30/2006 12:44:50 PM

qwert

Posts: 11
Joined: 7/12/2005
Status: offline

I've actually only ever been broken up with by e-mail (in long term relationships.) How shitty is that? I think it's just because they don't want to have to see or hear me cry. They can say what they wanted to say, and move on with no problem.

(in reply to MysticFireTopaz)

Post #: 13

RE: Breaking up. How and how not to say good bye. - 7/30/2006 12:52:33 PM

fyreredsub

Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline

i recently had to prove i was right about something and it cost me all....

there was a couple days of my arguing(by email)...the other side yelling at me(on the phone)

because i forgot my place....i proved my point allright....

sooooooooooo

for whatever reason you realize it just is not going to work out

no matter how much you love them.

so you HAVE TO say goodbye

and always keep a special place for that person in your heart

and every once in awhile you long for what might have been

and you go on and act like everything is okay

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to MasDom)

Post #: 14

RE: Breaking up. How and how not to say good bye. - 7/30/2006 4:40:22 PM

meatcleaver

Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline

Remember your lover is never going to be as faithfull as your dog and never get in a situation where they are more important than your dog. The moment it is easier to part with your dog than your lover, you've made a big mistake.

(in reply to MasDom)

Post #: 15

RE: Breaking up. How and how not to say good bye. - 7/30/2006 5:22:07 PM

spankmepink11

Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline

I have to admit, that while i believe in the direct approach and have no problem telling a partner that "we may not be right for one another". I also prefer the indirect method of email or voicemail. Face to face or even phone conversation with the other person asking why...or constantly interjecting just makes it harder for everyone, whereas the ".....not right for one another" blanket statement seems kinder than a laundry list of the reasons why. ( i also try to comment on something positive i've gained from the relationship)
Of course the longer the relationship , the more complicated a break up can be, so the above cannot always apply.

(in reply to meatcleaver)

Post #: 16

RE: Breaking up. How and how not to say good bye. - 7/30/2006 5:56:16 PM

corsetgirl

Posts: 824
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline

That is priceless! Were those roses black in color or dead roses? I would have probably thrown in someone who did singing telegrams, too.

(in reply to BrutalAntipathy)

Post #: 17

RE: Breaking up. How and how not to say good bye. - 7/30/2006 7:51:40 PM

FelinePersuasion

Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

I find nothing wrong with breaking up online, just do it while their online too and not in a nasty im or email.

I'd been begging joe for two weeks to come see me and he wouldn't. I am not going to waste gas going out to his house simply to break up when I can speak to him online.

Besides if he would of come over the issue of us being together or not would probably of just dragged on and on, because his never seeing me any more and other very personal issues was the reason the relationship was dyeing.

(in reply to corsetgirl)

Post #: 18

RE: Breaking up. How and how not to say good bye. - 7/31/2006 1:45:07 AM

meatcleaver

Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline

Actually, now I have thought about it, I think how one breaks up is important in how you remember a relationship. I have fond memories of all my relationships except one and it was the way she finished it and the other facts that came to light afterwards that rendered the whole relationship a waste of time and utterly pointless and something not worth remembering.

I usually chat things throught. I don't buy the 'clean break' is easiest for both. The 'clean break' is easiest for the one doing the breaking up, while the other person is probably stunned and wanting answers. When I was given the 'fuck off' out of the blue having done what this person wanted, I was left stunned and when she refused to even answer a civil question I began to fume. So much for clean breaks, I hate the day I met this person and although I have thrown everything out that reminds me of her I still want to strangle her when I am reminded of her. 'Clean breaks' are for moral cowards and people without integrity. One should at least be honest, speak ones mind when ending a relationship but one should have the backbone to answer reasonble questions about what went wrong or why things aren't right and then move on.

(in reply to MasDom)

Post #: 19

RE: Breaking up. How and how not to say good bye. - 7/31/2006 2:05:03 AM

diamonddreamlove

Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline

Death is the worst breakup possible and not getting to say bye is the worst part.

< Message edited by diamonddreamlove -- 7/31/2006 2:17:29 AM >

_____________________________

"Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much." Robert Greenleaf

(in reply to meatcleaver)

Post #: 20

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