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content of an email - 12/11/2004 8:39:29 AM

DarkxHope

Posts: 1
Joined: 4/9/2004
Status: offline

Hi i am pretty new the message boards but have been on the site for a while so I am sorry if this has been a opic already or if I have placed it in the wrong catagory.

I recived an email the other night from a new meber on this site and all it said was " Do you wna to meet up" mind you no profile no pic nothing. I simply wrote back saying that is not the way to get some one to meet you and that Just becuase the put the word "Dominant" in front of their name Does NOT mean subs are gonna run out to meet them with out Getting to know them Like he so badly wanted. He replyed back with Why are you judging me and should I cry about this...LOL. Am I wrong to assume I am not the only one who feels this way and gets totaly irratated by these kind of emails?

When I read what he wrote back to me I just kinda giggled becuase of how upset he seemd becuase of an honest response to his lame attempt to get some kinky booty.

Thanx,
Hope.

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RE: content of an email - 12/11/2004 8:45:22 AM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

You are certainly not alone Dark. I'm sure everyone here on teh boards feels the same way. We have had this disucsion more times than we can count.
There really is nothing you can do. If you choose to reply to the offender you have made a choice to stay in contact and get more frustrated.
If you choose to ignore well you've made your like a bit less hectic.

The choice is up to you. We all handle them in different ways. Myself if I got an e-mail that was so badly written, it would'nt have gotten any response from me at all.
One line and filled with mis-spellings. Nope, not something I want to start. We are all human, we all make mistakes from time to time.
I'm sure the guy figures if he sents out 5000 of them, someone may bite. If even one bites then it was all worth it.

I hope you get better e-mails in the future and this doesn't cloud your view of a fabulous site overall.

(in reply to DarkxHope)

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RE: content of an email - 12/11/2004 9:15:57 AM

LadyShoshin

Posts: 492
Joined: 7/19/2004
From: Burlington, Ontario
Status: offline

Hi, I am definately not new to message boards, having been a member for years elsewhere. Started out as a sub, am currently a Dominant and both aspects have gotten hundreds of those type of emails. If you are like me (polite), you may do what you did & request more information. In general, getting more information just shows they aren't someone you want meet. The other response I give is "Thank you, but no thank you" Definately, if they get lippy or rude, don't respond, put them on ignore.

In real life, when accosted at parties by either Doms or subs who were convinced we were meant for each other, I did the same thing, but from opposite ends of the flogger. Sitting with a Dom who was sure I was the sub for him, I would exuse myself & go to politely request a scene from someone I know is a heavy player. After a scene where the echo of the floggers off my body made it sound like we were bringing the roof down, the persistent Dom quickly lost interest. Now as a Domme, I simply go play my roommate, known as uberpainslut. The persistant sub quickly moves away from me when I return to my seat.

Basically I am welcoming them to my world, which includes pain and very little to no sex. It seems to weed out those looking for kinky sex.

_____________________________

PHLOX: “It’s unethical for a doctor to cause harm...I can inflict as much pain as I like.”

(in reply to DarkxHope)

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Post #: 3

RE: content of an email - 12/11/2004 11:24:56 AM

cariad

Posts: 943
Joined: 9/25/2004
From: Calgary, Alberta
Status: offline

this slave has had a few Dom's like that not necessarily from here but other sites that have asked if she would meet them that night for coffee, not knowing them like you, she responded by telling them that she knew nothing of them and would not be willing to meet until she had talked to them, and was then better able to make a decision.

just because someone is a submissive/slave does not mean that they are a doormat and they should not be willing to be treated as such. you did the right thing in asking for more information and your response to his email.

Attachment (1)

_____________________________

The Path To Being A Good slave Takes Hard Work, A Willingness To Learn, Ability To Take Criticism and the Ability To Take Punishments Well. i Am Still Learning So Please Be Patient With me, As i Walk the Path to Being A good slave. SLRN: 742 958 000

(in reply to LadyShoshin)

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RE: content of an email - 12/11/2004 3:02:48 PM

INSIDEYOURMIND

Posts: 483
Status: offline

The strange emails seem to coincide with the full moon.

I recently recieved an email from another Dom that said, THANK YOU.

I have no idea why it was sent, or what determined his need to thank me, but I did send him a well thought out reply, YOU'RE WELCOME.

I received another that asked me if I was a certain person. I replied I was not, and she then emailed again asking "Are you sure?"

My sub regularly gets unusal emails including one that was direct and to the point, it read "Tipping my hat to you", that was it, nothing more, and nothing less.

Maybe we should start an ongoing thread of weird emails.

_____________________________

If I got smart with you.................
How would you know?

(in reply to cariad)

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RE: content of an email - 12/11/2004 6:08:05 PM

MiladyElaine

Posts: 1086
Joined: 10/10/2004
Status: offline

LOL LOL You probably were joking about the full moon bit, but I think you're onto something there! I used to work in a cafeteria and during a full moon people got really b- !

(in reply to INSIDEYOURMIND)

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RE: content of an email - 12/11/2004 6:48:49 PM

Kinkypupper

Posts: 713
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
Status: offline

UNFORTUNATELY This site like many are filled with "wannabe"s" or just horney non-polite bodys who breathe air and take up space on this planet :-)

FORTUNATELY not all people are like that and you WILL meet many good ones.

_____________________________

Phil Moulton
A Sensual Touch
Locopony Racing
Portland Oregon

(in reply to DarkxHope)

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Post #: 7

RE: content of an email - 12/11/2004 9:05:32 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

I think the original e-mail you got was benign but foolish, and the second one was pathetic.

I don't think there's anything wrong with asking someone whether they want to "meet up"; I agree it's a little foolish to propose that without a pic or profile, and without having talked, but I think you overreacted when you took the "just because you call yourself a dom doesn't mean ..." line. He didn't necessarily assume that.

His second response to you, however, was the response of a weakling. THERE was his opportunity to tell you about himself, what he liked about your profile, and so on and so on--not "Why are you judging me?" There's nothing more incongruous than a dom asking for equal rights.

Lam

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkxHope

I recived an email the other night from a new meber on this site and all it said was " Do you wna to meet up" mind you no profile no pic nothing. I simply wrote back saying that is not the way to get some one to meet you and that Just becuase the put the word "Dominant" in front of their name Does NOT mean subs are gonna run out to meet them with out Getting to know them Like he so badly wanted. He replyed back with Why are you judging me and should I cry about this...LOL. Am I wrong to assume I am not the only one who feels this way and gets totaly irratated by these kind of emails?

(in reply to DarkxHope)

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Post #: 8

RE: content of an email - 12/12/2004 6:03:16 AM

velvetvixen

Posts: 378
Joined: 1/19/2004
Status: offline

One liners, such as the ever popular and enchanting "Hi slut" don't get my time or worry. I never respond as these are just trolling emails IMO.

However last week I did get a "Hi slut

" I guess he was trying to make a good first impression and all....

(in reply to DarkxHope)

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Post #: 9

RE: content of an email - 12/12/2004 9:55:32 PM

MistressFire70

Posts: 378
Joined: 7/25/2004
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

I just, not 15 minutes ago, posted the rant to a few lists I'm on. Let me share here as well. You all know you love to hear me rant! This is about submissives contacting Dominants, but, some of the same things apply to Doms contacting subs. Perhaps one of the subs here would like to post a complimentary essay to this one?

The following is an email I received recently. For some unknown reason, I'm getting a higher number of these in the last month. I thought I'd share and give tips on better ways of contacting a Dominant, especially a Dominant Female.

he sent: "HI Are you in Winston Salem? Are you a Master? Can you email me and give me some details? I would love to hook up with you. Hit me back"

First, perhaps I should explain why I find this approach offensive (others do as well, it's not just me!). The approach is informal. Not addressing me without a formalness to your tone gives the impression that we are on the same level and you have no respect for my possible role in your life. If you want a Ds relationship, we will certainly NOT be on the same level. I'm not looking for "worship" nor am I claiming that all Dominants deserve respect, but if you're contacting me for a meeting or play, that means you at least have SOME respect for me. Show it. A "Ma'am" can add a lot. Also, loose the slang. These two things will instantly make you sound more serious and mature in your inquiry.

Some of the question are unclear. These are my answers to such questions. "Yes, I'm in Winston-Salem. Yes, I consider myself to be a Master, or at least a Dominant on the path to Mastery. What info are you looking for? More about me? About the lifestyle? About area groups?" Have your initial contact be well thought out. First impressions really do make a difference.

I've also been getting a lot of IMs lately. Any Fem Dom can tell you how doubly annoying it is for the above email to be turned into an IM! IMing me means that you are expecting me to drop whatever I'm doing and chat with you. This is not about you. I'm the Dominant. This is how it works. If you really find that IMing me is something you MUST do, try asking,
"Ma'am, do you have a moment to chat with me?" I am much more likely to take a moment, if I have it, in response. Otherwise, I can tell you that I prefer email since I can answer email on MY schedule.

So, here are some tips when contacting a Dominant:

1) Drop the slang.
2) Make the approach formal, using Ma'am or Sir.
3) If you insist on IMing, please ask if we are free
to chat.
4) If we aren't available, politely ask (please is
also nice) if there is a way that is more convenient
for us for you to contact us.
5) Make your requests and questions clear and precise.
6) Check your spelling.
7) Check your punctuation.

Using all these will up your chances. Trust me. The above email would be much better had it been:

"Ms. Fire (or Ma'am),

my name is (blank). I am from (blank). I am curious about the lifestyle and have seen you post (in whatever place it was). I would like to ask you some questions about (blank), and I am hopeful that we might meet at some point. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,
(blank)"

I would have responded nicely to that one and wouldn't have ranted about it. LOL

Fire

_____________________________

you have come to a great chasm. Jump. It's not as wide as you think.

(in reply to DarkxHope)

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Post #: 10

RE: content of an email - 12/17/2004 11:19:05 AM

bengaltiger

Posts: 3
Joined: 10/16/2004
Status: offline

Well see the smiley made all the difference hehe

quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetvixen

One liners, such as the ever popular and enchanting "Hi slut" don't get my time or worry. I never respond as these are just trolling emails IMO.

However last week I did get a "Hi slut " I guess he was trying to make a good first impression and all....

_____________________________

Try it you might like it
The only bad question is the one you don't ask

(in reply to velvetvixen)

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Post #: 11

RE: content of an email - 12/17/2004 8:51:51 PM

Nvernilla

Posts: 303
Joined: 10/1/2004
Status: offline

LOL I've heard of some of the most unbelievable emails that people have gotten, I think these are inexperienced people who don't know what to say and cover with false bravado...Mike

(in reply to DarkxHope)

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Post #: 12