RE: What is the point in responding to someone's ad here?

RE: What is the point in responding to someone's ad here? (Full Version)

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MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: What is the point in responding to someone's ad here? (7/31/2006 6:38:36 AM)
I think a better question - and certainly a more CONSTRUCTIVE (i.e. one that will stimulate change rather than just a general whine) question is - what in a profile and in an introductory email will best help me get a response? Movie makers and writers know that they have to snag the audience's attention within the first couple minutes to intrigue and interest the audience to want to know more, to continue reading the book or watching the movie. If they don't - they lose the audience. Go to your bookshelf and pick up a novel that you enjoy, and just look over the first page or two - you'll see what I mean. Making that "first contact" on the internet is much like that. Your profile and initial emails need to be interesting, to say to the reader "this is someone I want to know better" and "this is someone that can bring something to my life". Profiles that essentially say "I really have nothing to offer and I think you're fake anyway" will definitely work their charms and chase everyone off. Initial emails that are full of the person's problems and whines, or do nothing to start an interesting and positive conversation, will do the same. And even before the writing of profile and the writing of the emails, the person in question has to work on his or her own life to make sure that they are doing what they can to make such a relationship possible - because if it's too unlikely, and too hard to make work, it's just not going to happen. Just like with a movie - the first 5 minutes might be great, but if there's no good story to keep it going, it's still going to lose the audience's interest. Finding a BDSM relationship doesn't have to be as unlikely as winning the lottery, but so many people treat it as if it's the same thing - if they just sit there like a grumpy bump on a log with nothing to offer, someone somehow will recognize what a "gem" they are and snatch them up. You have to work - and it IS work - on stacking the odds better in your favor. And yes...no matter how much effort you put into making a great profile and sending a great introduction, most of the time they'll still get ignored. Such is the nature of the internet, and why if one truly is "real" they should be getting out among the "real" folk at munches and such to meet.

RavenMuse -> RE: What is the point in responding to someone's ad here? (7/31/2006 6:56:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsSonnetMarwood Initial emails that are full of the person's problems and whines, or do nothing to start an interesting and positive conversation, will do the same. Yep. Case in point.... since my last post I've had another reply in my search for a second girl. Just broke the ice and opening lines of communications to see it there is anything worth taking further. Keep positive, keep trying... eventualy it works!

Lordandmaster -> RE: What is the point in responding to someone's ad here? (7/31/2006 7:24:44 AM)
Oh, stop whining. People respond. If you're a male submissive, most dommes probably won't have time to answer you, and you just have to deal with it. But some will. My only advice is to stop fucking whining, because if there's one thing that will convince someone not to bother with you, it's this thread you've started about why no one writes to you. quote: ORIGINAL: michaelGA2 with all the complaints here about non-responsiveness on this site, what is the point in even trying? people take time out of their day to read...and yes, even respond...to someone's ad only to get ignored. there is no courtesy here.

LL1aintbehavin -> RE: What is the point in responding to someone's ad here? (7/31/2006 7:27:14 AM)
michael. i must agree with RavenMuse, attitude is everything. If you expect people to dump on you and not be real and have a sarcastic attitude, you won't get far. Many people do not get replies to their emails to others, that is life on line. You states that you saw a Domme that fitted with what you wanted and she didn't write back. If you fitted with what she wanted she would have pursued it. Because she didn't does not mean she is not real or anything else that you take so personally. It means that she was not interested. Getting to know others is a process. There are many that read these message boards and do not post on them. Your attitude of your posts, when read by a Domme, will influence them and they will remember you, and when you contact them in the future, they will have an idea of your personality and will not want to bother to respond. i have made personal judgements from reading certain peoples posts whether i would like to ever meet up with them real time, or if i thought we were on the same wave length of thought. You state you are not married but have a significant other. To many, that is the same thing if they don't want to share. It is their right to feel that way. i don't know if you have done a poll of the married people on here that are looking for a third to see if their success rate is any better than yours. Maybe it is time to get off the boards, and cyber and get into real life. Go to munches and dungeons and play parties and start seeing this as reality not cyber as there is a difference. Many on this site have met wonderful partners, and lifetime friends by being open, honest and having a good life attitude. Many here have tried to let you know nicely, and bluntly that your attitude is a turn off. Just my opinion of course. aintbehavin

spankmepink11 -> RE: What is the point in responding to someone's ad here? (7/31/2006 7:30:43 AM)
I reply to very few emails and on occasion i receive chastizing, rude emails as a result. I don't reply to those either. This happened recently and while i was tempted, i refrained from sending a return email to explain my lack of response. If i do not respond, it's generally because i do not believe that a "connection" with the sender is viable, and in my profile...i wish any interested parties well in the event that i do not respond. There are times that i've sent mail that has received no response and it does not offend me in the least. My profile is written with the express purpose of sharing enough information about myself for a potential complimenting Partner to make an informed decision on whether or not i would be a viable partner for Them. It is not intended to strike up chatroom type relationships or banter. If i want those things....i go to a chatroom or a message board I also do not accept calls from telemarketers, or answer every mail offer for services or goods that i do not want. [;)]

stef -> The pity party takes a field trip to whine country (7/31/2006 8:38:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: michaelGA2 with all the complaints here about non-responsiveness on this site, what is the point in even trying? people take time out of their day to read...and yes, even respond...to someone's ad only to get ignored. there is no courtesy here. chuckle I'll bet this thread isn't turning out quite like you had hoped. Do you really wonder why no one responds to your email after all of this? ~stef

MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: What is the point in responding to someone's ad here? (7/31/2006 9:05:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RavenMuse quote: ORIGINAL: MsSonnetMarwood Initial emails that are full of the person's problems and whines, or do nothing to start an interesting and positive conversation, will do the same. Yep. Case in point.... since my last post I've had another reply in my search for a second girl. Just broke the ice and opening lines of communications to see it there is anything worth taking further. Keep positive, keep trying... eventualy it works! Keeping a positive and healthy attitude is definately important. Once you decide everyone else is a fake and rude and just out for money or sex or whatever, you're done for. When you're looking for ANY kind of relationship, you're going to hear "no" a lot more than you hear "yes" (and not hearing anything at all is a loud and clear no).

MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: The pity party takes a field trip to whine country (7/31/2006 9:10:52 AM)
quote: chuckle I'll bet this thread isn't turning out quite like you had hoped. Do you really wonder why no one responds to your email after all of this? ~stef What's that definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over again the same way and expecting different results? When nothing changes....nothing changes.

MasterRenegade77 -> RE: What is the point in responding to someone's ad here? (7/31/2006 9:16:12 AM)
Try not to take it personally dude it's a numbers game, you have to realize that there are more Male Masters & sub/slaves than there are Mistresses & fem sub/slaves... I've been looking online for over 9 years, I even started a thread because I thought it was because I'm disabled (In a Wheelchair), well ya gotta know I caught some of the same shit & flames I see you're getting here... But there was one sub that looked at My profile & we actually rewrote it it to smoothen it out... I Thank her for her efforts but you know what, it didn't Matter a whit... popeye says he gets a response to 1 out of six e-mails shit I'm lucky if I get 1 out a 200... Most those that respond to My profile are more than likely scammers from Africa or Russia... I've Greatly lowered My expectations from these online sites but I keep trying anyway... you also have to realize that threads Like this are pointless 'cause there are people on these boards that have nothing better to do than hide behide thier keyboards to give you grief!!!

MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: What is the point in responding to someone's ad here? (7/31/2006 9:24:08 AM)
quote: you also have to realize that threads Like this are pointless 'cause there are people on these boards that have nothing better to do than hide behide thier keyboards to give you grief!!! I'll agree that threads like this are indeed pointless if they're just used to vent and then disagree with any positive advice given to deal with the issue at hand. However, I think the problem is INITIATED by those that spend too much time behind their keyboards hoping to find ~ whatever it is they are actually looking for ~ rather than out amongst people OFF the computer.

carolsea -> RE: What is the point in responding to someone's ad here? (7/31/2006 9:24:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterKalif <snip> Such is the thing on yahoo messenger again and again "oh lets chat on yahoo" and then they are never online, and if they do go online its a three line exchange and then they dissappear or dont answer. Its so ridiculous that whenever someone mentions that we should chat on there I refuse or state that I will continue to use the mail section of this website... I mean why would someone engage on such a waste of time? beyond me...even as a "joke" its boring. Exactly! And the 2 or 3 I have consented to add to my yahoo and then don't talk to for weeks, and then they pop up with "hello c*nt or some other "endearment". That's way too crude and familiar for someone I hardly remember! I'm like SavageFaerie who said she keeps her yahoo for friends and family and doesn't want to clog it up with just anyone. Online dating does suck, Michael, just take it for what it's worth and enjoy what you can. If your s.o. is aware of your interests, maybe she'd be willing to go with you to some places to meet people who share your interests. Carolsea

MasterRenegade77 -> RE: What is the point in responding to someone's ad here? (7/31/2006 9:32:43 AM)
quote: However, I think the problem is INITIATED by those that spend too much time behind their keyboards hoping to find ~ whatever it is they are actually looking for ~ rather than out amongst people OFF the computer. Though I'd agree if you were talking to able-bodied folks but in My case the area I live in has a Very Limited BDSM community & the Logistics to get to a Munch or event are quite overwhelming for Me!!! I'm one of the Have - nots so I don't have My own H/c'd vehicles to get around in!!!

stef -> RE: The pity party takes a field trip to whine country (7/31/2006 9:49:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsSonnetMarwood What's that definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over again the same way and expecting different results? When nothing changes....nothing changes. We have a winner! [sm=applause.gif] You get your choice of anything on the top shelf. ~stef

LaTigresse -> RE: What is the point in responding to someone's ad here? (7/31/2006 10:04:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: michaelGA2 with all the complaints here about non-responsiveness on this site, what is the point in even trying? people take time out of their day to read...and yes, even respond...to someone's ad only to get ignored. there is no courtesy here. michael, I can only speak for myself. I ignore almost every email that is a one-liner and almost every email from a person that obviously has not bothered to read any part of my information I took time out of my busy life to create. I am certainly NOT saying you are in this category I am just giving you my personal experience. Also, along the line of just my opinion, having read much of your input on the forum boards I might suggest that the frame of mind you portray in what you write is quite off-putting. Your words suggest a very unhappy and negative person. I am not saying this as a personal attack, as they not be a real reflection of the person you are. I am only expressing that is what I perceive when reading them. A BDSM relationship is not going to make you a happy balanced person, only you have that power. Personally I would be very hesitant to bring a submissive/slave into my life that I did not feel was already in a good place with themself. A relationship, any type of relationship, should be an enhancement to your life not the reason for it.

KatyLied -> Whiners! (7/31/2006 10:07:37 AM)
quote: A relationship, any type of relationship, should be an enhancement to your life not the reason for it. Very well stated. Having a relationship is not going to bring some sort of magic into your life. I think the op would be better served to work on his attitude foremost and worry about a relationship later.

pahunkboy -> RE: Whiners! (7/31/2006 11:18:50 AM)
Mike has a neat sense of humour. get out in public and be seen. if need be -get a makeover. stylish for your locale. but most of all BE SEEN. a woman isnt going to fall from the sky and knock on your door. hint- hang out where there is grindage. woman are oozing outa everywhere. many are available. the internet is a tool- not an end onto itself. ps- i need to take my own advice. roger

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