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Removed - 7/31/2006 11:49:58 AM

BlouLady

Posts: 170
Joined: 2/8/2005
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Due to the apparently volatial nature of this post I have decided to remove it. Thank you to all who responded.

< Message edited by BlouLady -- 7/31/2006 12:43:02 PM >

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RE: Excessive Brutality? - 7/31/2006 11:56:48 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BlouLady
After that night I am grateful that Sir isn't cruel, but to be honest it almost put me off the life forever. i wonder now if he requested friend be so vicious. Sir was upset with me the next day for letting it happen. I'm very confused at this point and don't know how to handle this.

Wow, you've got a lot of issues going on here.

You've been having problems with your husband/dom and being happy together ever since I've been on this site. You've been agonizing over him "not being dom enough" or "not being a good dom" consistently. So that issue is nothing new.

Him taking advantage of you being a bit drunk and foisting another guy onto you without any discussion before the fact is completely ridiculous and immature, and obviously- a bad choice. An insanely bad choice.

I hope you realize your own wrong choices in this situation- you should not have simply let yourself be taken by a "natural dom" just because you wanted to prove a romantic ideal of "trusting" your husband who obviously was just trying to wreak some revenge and keep you where he wanted you.

He needs to realize that what he did pretty much violated the trust you gave him. You both should get into counseling if you really want to work through your issues once and for all.

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RE: Excessive Brutality? - 7/31/2006 12:00:16 PM

amayos

Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BlouLady

Recently I had asked my Sir a question that really ticked him off. I asked him if I could have another Dom since it seems he was uncomfortable in a D/s relationship. I shouldn't have asked but I was feeling desperate. Like I said he got very angry we had it out ,I apologized (and I meant it) and I told him I would never ask again. This was on Thursday evening. Friday night a friend of ours (his best friend) came to spend the night along with a couple of friends of mine, one of whom went home that evening. We were all drinking (something I don't do very often because I completely lack judgement and I know that) and in general having a good time. After awhile Sir and his friend went inside to talk. To make a very long story short, the evening wore on and when we all came back inside (the four of us) my friend who stayed, had to take care of some business and I was left alone with Sir and His friend. Sir asked me if I trusted him, I told him of course and then He told me that He trusts his friend and I was to do what ever His friend told me to do. I was quite intoxicated at this time (we all were) and a little confused. Just the day before Sir told me he would never share and now he's telling me to do what ever friend says to do.
As it turns out friend is a natural Dom and quick and to the point. In moments I was in tears and Sir was laughing. Sir kept telling me that this is what I wanted. Now I'm left with what I was afraid was going to be a serious injury, there was no warm up and no after care. Fortunatly the pain is subsiding today so I don't believe it's to serious now. The next day Sir told me he was sorry but I needed a hard knock lesson. After that night I am grateful that Sir isn't cruel, but to be honest it almost put me off the life forever. i wonder now if he requested friend be so vicious. Sir was upset with me the next day for letting it happen. I'm very confused at this point and don't know how to handle this.

Alcohol and bad communication often combine to make trouble, and these are the least of your worries, it seems.

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RE: Excessive Brutality? - 7/31/2006 12:02:25 PM

Estring

Posts: 3314
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Where would you even begin in trying to figure out this mess? I am wondering how a mother who says her children come first would put herself in a position to be seriously injured and be with a man who would make decisions while inebriated, that could seriously affect his "girl". And why did you want another Dom in the first place? It just seems like a big mess.

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RE: Excessive Brutality? - 7/31/2006 12:09:32 PM

SexyRed

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I am sorry, that sounds like a very bad situation. I would be infuriated if someone did that to me; the lack of trust and putting someone in such a dangerous situation is bad enough, but the fact that you say you are injured is awful.

I would seriously think this situation over as to whether you want to place yourself in the position of having someone with anger issues be your Dom.

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RE: Excessive Brutality? - 7/31/2006 12:15:16 PM

BlouLady

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removed

< Message edited by BlouLady -- 7/31/2006 12:42:06 PM >

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RE: Excessive Brutality? - 7/31/2006 12:23:09 PM

Estring

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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You may feel like people are picking on you, but I think you need to realize that your bad decisions don't just affect you, they also affect your children. How is winding up in the hospital going to affect them? You may love this Dom more than life, but he put you in a bad situation. And by your own admission, there are other problems with the relationship. People here are just being honest and upfront in their answers to you. The last thing you need is some sugar coated feel good answers.

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RE: Excessive Brutality? - 7/31/2006 12:28:38 PM

BlouLady

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removed

< Message edited by BlouLady -- 7/31/2006 12:42:25 PM >

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RE: Excessive Brutality? - 7/31/2006 12:36:01 PM

LaTigresse

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All I am going to say is that from the limited information I see there are three people to blame here. First of all yes, in being inebriated your judgement was impared in getting in the situation. Secondly, someone that is supposed to love and care for you, be protective of you just gleefully and sadistically turned another sadistic drunk loose on you and just sat and watched while laughing??? That guy needs wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy more than counseling! Thirdly, a drunk sadist that you have never played with jumps in and makes you feel like you are in physical danger??? In MY opinion this situation is wrong on so many levels I don't know where to begin. I would not want ANY sub/slave I knew or cared about playing with either dominant. A dominant is responsible for the well being of those they play with. From what you have said neither showed any responsibility or trustworthiness of character at all. To play...... and I am using the term VERY loosely in this context..... in that state, in that manner is in my opinion nothing more than a very bad excuse for abuse.
You have said that in this instance you share some of the responsibility due to your drinking, so be it. I will say exactly what I say to anyone that stays in an abusive relationship while making excuses for the abuser. Beat me once shame on you, beat me twice shame on me.
As yes, as a mother I am saying that regardless of your lucking out this time, that may not be the case next time. Whatever else is in your life you are a mother and therefor have a responsibility to your children. Your welfare is also their welfare.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 7/31/2006 12:38:50 PM >

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RE: Excessive Brutality? - 7/31/2006 12:37:58 PM

trixr4kids

Posts: 18
Joined: 7/27/2006
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1- You can't force someone to be Dominant or scene with you if it's not in their nature without it causing both of you issues.
2- You need to decide what's important your relationship or your D/s needs.
3-Yes the Dom attacking your breast was a lack of sound judgment on the parts of all three of you.
4-Yes your guy was way wrong to tell you no way & then have someone attack you the next day.
I know what happened was not right or fair, but knowing your guy is jealous to start with what on earth would have possessed you to ask him to see someone else. Don't you see you probably hurt him in the core of his self? To me that's going to take much longer to recover from than your sore boob will.

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RE: Excessive Brutality? - 7/31/2006 12:44:02 PM

trixr4kids

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Joined: 7/27/2006
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quote:

Past problems weren't what were up for discussion though.

I don't know about you, but when I ask my friends for help they also make reference to things in the past they feel are relevant. I think she didn't say that to piss you off or attack you. She said it because she cares enough to point out things she thinks you need to get through to be happy. You should be glad she cared enough to give you free advice that seems pretty sound to me.

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RE: Removed - 7/31/2006 5:29:42 PM

afeathr

Posts: 248
Joined: 6/1/2006
From: Southern California
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Why did you think that your original post was volatile? Was it because everyone was concerned about your safety and health? Though we tend to be a little on the rough side, on occasion, we are truly only looking out for your best interest. No one was really 'picking on you' (as I got the hint that is what you though). They were merely expressing their opinion of your situation. I can't say that I blame them in the least.

Good Luck to you in this situation. I wish you the best.

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