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Daily Routines - 7/31/2006 12:26:24 PM   
sensualatina


Posts: 18
Joined: 1/10/2006
Status: offline 		So, the other day i was reading on ways for a submissive to feel closer to her/his Dom/Master when being involved in a long distance relationship.  There was one thing that caught my eye, and it was having a daily routine set up by his or her Master which involves small or big activities that takes a submissive or slave into an even deeper state of submission (or that instills an even deeper mark of being owned in their heart if that makes any sense).  i know basically everyone has a routine.. wether it's written down.. talked about or not.  I was just wondering if there was one particular thing that your Master has you doing every day (real life or long distance).  Or if you can give me examples of your daily routines with times.. or with out.  (this is part of a task that has been set for me by my Master and any help would be greatly appreciated) Thank You

p.s. i hope this makes sense.. lol
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Daily Routines - 7/31/2006 12:29:54 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Blog
Meditate
Walk

(the focus for me, at the present time is growth as a person and finding a calmer way of life, these are things I am instructed to do every day)


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to sensualatina)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Daily Routines - 7/31/2006 12:38:31 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Nope.  I'm generally against rituals.  There are things that need to get done everyday,a nd for most people the "get up, go to work, come home, dinner, errands, sleep" pattern is the norm.  However, making something into a ritual for me doesn't work.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_307839/mpage_1/key_daily%252Croutine/tm.htm#307839
Structure

http://www.collarchat.com/m_99518/mpage_1/key_daily%252Croutine/tm.htm#99518
day to day in the lifestyle

http://www.collarchat.com/m_83995/mpage_1/key_daily%252Croutine/tm.htm#83995
Need help...consistency problems

http://www.collarchat.com/m_45593/mpage_1/key_daily%252Croutine/tm.htm#45593
routine

http://www.collarchat.com/m_504581/mpage_1/key_rituals/tm.htm#504854
Rituals...

http://www.collarchat.com/m_229409/mpage_1/key_ritual/tm.htm#229409
Purpose of ritual and types

http://www.collarchat.com/m_234894/mpage_1/key_ritual/tm.htm#234894
Ritual in anticipation of time together

http://www.collarchat.com/m_242681/mpage_1/key_ritual/tm.htm#242681
rituals, your favorite and why?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_110/mpage_1/key_rituals/tm.htm#110
rituals

http://www.collarchat.com/m_7380/mpage_1/key_rituals/tm.htm#7380
protocols

http://www.collarchat.com/m_48910/mpage_1/key_rituals/tm.htm#48910
special rituals please?!

http://www.collarchat.com/m_97744/mpage_1/key_rituals/tm.htm#97744
rituals (2)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_296210/mpage_1/key_rituals/tm.htm#296210
favorite rituals

< Message edited by LuckyAlbatross -- 7/31/2006 12:43:45 PM >

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to sensualatina)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Daily Routines - 7/31/2006 1:38:49 PM   
Homestead


Posts: 1005
Status: offline 		Stucture your daily routine the way you would if it was a live in situation. Even set a place for him at the table, just don't make the extra food. Doesn't take a lot of extra time, and it's a good habituator for if things go to real life.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Daily Routines - 7/31/2006 3:20:28 PM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		My Sir has me keep a daily journal and we try to speak every day.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to sensualatina)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Daily Routines - 7/31/2006 5:30:30 PM   
LokisBrat


Posts: 431
Joined: 12/5/2005
From: Mayberry, Illinois
Status: offline 		Loki has set up a daily and weekly routine for me.  It helps to maintain my security when he is on the road, as well as keeping the house running smoothly according to his desires. It gives me comfort to be able to look at the schedule and know that it came from him and that by operating according to it, I am serving him, even a thousand miles away.
We also have websites where we have daily contact so that he can see me each day.


Brat


_____________________________

"My pleasure, your pain. Doesn't matter, its all the same"

-Loki

(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Daily Routines - 7/31/2006 5:54:11 PM   
jonathan


Posts: 196
Joined: 8/5/2004
Status: offline 		The only routine that my Goddess has for me involves contact and expressing my thoughts as a submissive. The contact is a daily e-mail, a forum for me to talk about my day, respond to anything She may have sent, just general things. i also have to pick and post to one of the threads here every day, which applies to the latter. And, frankly, is why i'm writing this. The most important one for me is my daily online journal entry. That one is where i explore my emotional and psychologocal state. i also think that She wants to know about my days so that She sees how i structure my time and knows what Her boy is doing.

We're long distance right now, but our first meeting is coming this weekend and if that goes well i'll be moving in short order. So i may have only a new, written journal to keep then.


_____________________________

jonathan
http://www.slaveregister.com/000-515-587

"But in purple, i am stunning!"
"Before You slip into unconsciousness, i'd like to have another kiss, another flashing chance at bliss, another kiss, another kiss"

(in reply to sensualatina)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Daily Routines - 7/31/2006 5:58:19 PM   
NurseKitty


Posts: 33
Joined: 6/14/2006
From: Syracuse, New York
Status: offline 		I'm new to the D/s lifestyle, and although I have no intention of my relationship interfering with my work (I'm a nurse; I have to remain focused on that and he can't take over) I one time e-mailed Him to ask Him if there was anything He wanted me to work on during the day.  He's the experienced one; I've only been in the lifestyle for about 9 months now.  He e-mailed me back telling me to take two rubber bands and place one around each breast and leave them in place, as long as it wasn't unhealthy/uncomfortble enough to restrict blood flow, and leave them there until I found them uncomfortable.  His intention wasn't so much to conform me to a routine but to remind me there's something else going on that nobody else knows about, sort of an 'I've got a secret' sort of thing, something I could do to remind me of Him throughout my day while I couldn't be next to Him.
 
It actually didn't work; I was so busy that day I didn't check my e-mail 'til about 3 o'clock and then I couldn't find rubber bands....but still it was a grand idea!

_____________________________

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. ~ Mae West

(in reply to LokisBrat)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Daily Routines - 7/31/2006 8:44:36 PM   
sensualatina


Posts: 18
Joined: 1/10/2006
Status: offline 		haha.. you can always do that the next day NurseKitty :P

i want to thank You all for posting.. after more reading i realized.. i wouldn't be fond of every single second of the day planned out, more like.. just one or two particular things that i have to do daily.. (other than writing journals and making contact with Him.. i do.. every day.. i bug Him while He's doing work for school ) Anyways, i was looking for something like Your Master said (Nurse Kitty) .. something secret between He and i..  except daily (i know so demanding right?)

ooh and good luck jonathan i wish you the best :) (and thank You for posting).. we'll see where this all goes He might not even give me a schedule.. it's all up to Him.. i just thought it would be one more thing that can bring us closer.. and make it easier to go day by day with out seeing Him :: saddd sigh ::

Thank You A/all and keep posting!! <3

(in reply to NurseKitty)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Daily Routines - 7/31/2006 10:12:44 PM   
cheshireboy


Posts: 217
Joined: 5/10/2006
Status: offline 		wake up
put coffee on
walk the damn dog
turn on computers
get her up
make sure she has coffee and cigarettes
make bed
make sure coffee is in travel container as we head to work
work
come home
walk damn dog
reheat coffee or make fresh pot
put dinner on
dishes
general cleaning
light candle for bed
undress her and be all tucked in
light final cigarette of the night, blow out candle
stir gently and repeat
 
cheshire

(in reply to sensualatina)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Daily Routines - 8/1/2006 3:19:19 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		The only daily requirement I have so far set with my current girl is to instil a regular pattern of eating. We have discussed what I consider acceptable foods (No getting away with a packet of crisps or a few busicutes and trying to say "I've eaten!") Once in the morning once in the afternoon and once in the evening.

Not exactly restrictive and the quantitys can be varied, but the basic outline as it stands I expect to be followed.

And of course it is
The results are slowly starting to show (Energy levels more stable)


_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to sensualatina)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Daily Routines - 8/1/2006 9:50:12 AM   
justheather


Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline 		sensual - Thank you for starting a thread that inspired me to spend some time thinking about the many ways that my dom has infused his presence into my life through the use of rituals. Both my boyfriend and I have Roman Catholic backgrounds. I believe this may contribute to the reasons why ritual speaks powerfully to us both. It works for us.

In the weeks before we were able to meet in person, my dom gave me the gift of a small ritual associated with the first meal of my day. I was instructed to eat oatmeal for breakfast, every day, in the two weeks prior to our meeting, plain oatmeal with milk, to be eaten with a spoon. I was to eat away from the hustle and bustle of the morning rush whenever possible. I was to eat in silence, and before taking the first bite I was to gently kiss the back of my spoon to acknowledge that it was physically providing nourishment for me in his absence. When I was finished, I was to lick my spoon clean.

In the two weeks before meeting face to face for the first time, I was so filled with anticipation. It was really a gift to be able to 1. sit in silence 2. think about him and 3. offer a small sacrifice of eating the same (bland) thing every day for two weeks. I was doing something that I knew would be pleasing to him.

Today, we have many small rituals infused into our everyday lives. I practice some rituals in his absence and some in his presence. They are a kind of short-hand way of affirming my submission and the bond that we share. They range from certain foods that I am to eat to whether I take the stairs or the elevator to work to how we fall asleep in bed together at night. One begins and ends my day.

What I really love about ritual is that at any given time, when it might be inappropriate for us to verbally or physically fully express the undercurrent that our dynamic generates, we can abstract something very subtle from the ritual and both find ourselves back in touch with the full depth and richness of the ritual itself.

Sometimes, when we are eating a meal alone or in the presence of others, he will reach over and take the fork from my placesetting and replace it with a spoon, not saying a word. When we recently had to be apart for two weeks, he instructed me just before I left that he wanted me to "kiss my spoon" while we were apart.

I treasure our rituals and Im excited for you as you begin to explore ways to feel close to your loved one when you are not physically together.

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to sensualatina)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Daily Routines - 8/1/2006 10:38:27 AM   
sensualatina


Posts: 18
Joined: 1/10/2006
Status: offline 		justheather.. i think that's the about the sweetest thing i've ever heard, that's basically exactly what i'm looking for.  (i always keep a spoon wether it be plastic or metal close by.. but for a different reason.. i have this oral fixation.. that.. sometimes i just NEED something in my mouth.. Master lovess that haha), but anyways that is the sweetest thing. By the by.. i'm such a HUGE fan of Your picture.. it's soo cute... i actually gave Master Your link. so He can look at the picture.. i want some of those stockings haha.. but that's another thread. 

Right now.. me and Master usually talk everday at least a little bit.. He watches me sleep.. which is one of my FAVORITE rituals.. it's soo hard to sleep when He's not watching.  It makes me feel as if He's right there.. next to me watching me sleep.. it just brings me such a peace of mind, comfort and security (i hope that makes sense). 

Is it bad that i'm asking for such things so i can feel closer to Him?  So  i can further deepend my submission even if He's not physically around?  should it be His job to come up with ideas to deepen my submission?  (i'm fairly new.. 2 years into the lifestyle.. and this is probably the first serious relationship..BDSM wise anyways..) (haha look at me hijacking my own thread)

Thank You everyone for all Your help :)

< Message edited by sensualatina -- 8/1/2006 10:43:38 AM >

(in reply to justheather)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Daily Routines - 8/1/2006 10:38:57 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Very nice!

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to justheather)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Daily Routines - 8/1/2006 12:30:00 PM   
justheather


Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sensualatina
He watches me sleep.. which is one of my FAVORITE rituals.. it's soo hard to sleep when He's not watching.  It makes me feel as if He's right there.. next to me watching me sleep.. it just brings me such a peace of mind, comfort and security (i hope that makes sense). 


This is so beautiful. It seems to me that your dom understands your need to feel connected to him when you are apart already.

quote:

Is it bad that i'm asking for such things so i can feel closer to Him?  So  i can further deepend my submission even if He's not physically around?  should it be His job to come up with ideas to deepen my submission? 


Bad? No, I don't think it's bad. I think you want to find healthy ways to deal with not being together...ways to connect when he is unavailable and ways to calm yourself in moments of sadness or insecurity. These are actually ways that you will be making your dom's life easier. I can not imagine anyone would not be pleased that his submissive was trying to maintain and deepen her sense of submission to him, especially in a way that he does not have to micromanage. You have the ritual as a tool, to be used for whatever purpose presents itself in that moment.

As for whose "job" it is...well, that's between the two of you...and ultimately up to him. If Im going to present something to my dom that might seem out of line if looked at in a particular light, he cautions me to 1. find an appropriate time and 2. do so with deference and 3. speak in love. If you come to your dom and express to him the kinds of things you believe would be helpful to you in your quest, he could take that under consideration and then take care of the specifics.

And thank you for the compliment about our rituals. I will be sure to pass them along to my dom.

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to sensualatina)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Daily Routines - 8/1/2006 2:23:41 PM   
zumala


Posts: 1121
Joined: 6/16/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

The only daily requirement I have so far set with my current girl is to instil a regular pattern of eating. We have discussed what I consider acceptable foods (No getting away with a packet of crisps or a few busicutes and trying to say "I've eaten!") Once in the morning once in the afternoon and once in the evening.

Not exactly restrictive and the quantitys can be varied, but the basic outline as it stands I expect to be followed.

And of course it is
The results are slowly starting to show (Energy levels more stable)



What a good idea, Raven.  I have to admit, there are things exactly like this particular issue that I know I could use direction for.  I'm not that great and doing something because it's good for me.  Heck, it's 4:30 in the afternoon and all I've had is coffee throughout the day.  My only meal will be dinner.  Perhaps it's because I don't like eat alone.  I don't know.
 
*apologizes for the slight hijack*
 
zuma

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Daily Routines - 8/1/2006 3:24:43 PM   
sensualatina


Posts: 18
Joined: 1/10/2006
Status: offline 		ha don't worry i'll follow it :P

i'm also the type of person that needs a little motivation to do what's good for me.  I asked Master to set a bed time.. because if it were up to me i'd stay up till 5 am when i have to go to work at 6:30... i'm still an irresponsible kid like that.. lol (every now and then.. i don't necessarily go out.. i just happen to stay up).  Now it doesn't usually happen, but every now and then it slips.. either i get up in the middle of the night.. or i can't sleep because Master isn't around, but anyways.. i do think that setting specific food is a way of deepening the relationship.  That and.. it just lets me worry about other junk.  i would love if Master had a schedule of what to eat.. when to eat it.. (a possible one)  i would have to worry less about what's going in my stomach. 

(in reply to zumala)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Daily Routines - 8/1/2006 8:55:59 PM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		The problem is with a set schedual of when to eat and what is it don't a llow for feelings. I don't eat at the same time everyday breakfast could be at 12 in the afternoon or it can be at 10 am. I wouldn't be happy having to eat at the same time on the dot if I wasn't hungry or didn't feel like eating.

(in reply to sensualatina)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Daily Routines - 8/8/2006 7:11:29 PM   
crybaby


Posts: 28
Joined: 1/14/2005
Status: offline 		I think rituals are good and serve as reminders as to why we choose to exist for the time being. The first woman I ever served would have me assume a kneeling position every morning for five minutes and also do tae bo four times a week. She was very consistent with me, making sure I did it every day, even though we were long distance, and it made me feel very cared about.  I admire you for being able to ask for such things, as I find myself feeling that is the Dominants responsibility to implement. With my current Owners I do keep a livejournal, lol as it seems everyone does, and to think I thought it was such an original idea (naivete can be so sweet), and I also do 50 squats a day per my Mistress to strengthen my legs. My Master likes to be "milked".

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Daily Routines - 8/9/2006 5:54:26 PM   
behindmirrors


Posts: 340
Joined: 8/5/2006
Status: offline 		My Dominant has given me a few rituals to follow, and sets out some things for me each day he would like done before bed. Since we are both pretty busy people, it isn't a micro-managed thing. I'm self employed, and he works between 40 and 60 hours a week. My rituals are to spend time writing my thoughts, to greet him when he comes home (or if I get home after him to go to him first things first and ask about his day), and we have time each day during which we talk about our lives and thoughts together before bed. When it is time to sleep and we are in bed, he places his hand on me, which calms me and makes me feel safe, so I sleep better. These are all little things that make us feel connected and have an important place in our time together.
For daily tasks, I am to always take care of our cat (litterbox, food, water, etc.), to make sure there are no dirty dishes left in the sink, and to maintain a state of order in the home. Today, I had the specific tasks to fix a loose carpet strip leading into our hallway, take out the garbage, and to sweep the front porch/steps. It makes him happy to see that I do these things for him, and that, in turn, makes me happy when I please him. I am to be punished for what I do not get done, but I've never had a time I haven't been able to complete my tasks thus far (which is good, haha).

RavenMuse: I sent you a message asking about some further detail about your daily eating task you set for your girl. That is something we have talked about doing as it would be very helpful to me, so I was curious as to how you impliment it in your situation. It would be greatly appreciated if you could give us some pointers as to your steps. Thanks!

(in reply to crybaby)
Profile   Post #: 20
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