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Understanding my male sub friends - 7/31/2006 4:35:41 PM

blondBBWsub

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I hope that I am not out of line by asking this: This is addressed to the Mistresses/Dommes and perhaps Bi Doms here on CM. I have made some friends with some of the male subs here. One thing i don't quite understand is the desire NOT to have sex with their Dommes, but to have a chastity device on, be denied, or to be the cuckold. As a female I very much desire sex with my Dom/Master (not that i have one at this time). Why are male subs different. I dont understand...please enlighten me.

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RE: Understanding my male sub friends - 7/31/2006 4:59:05 PM

pantyslave101

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because in this lifestyle the male sub's are about submission and being degraded not so much about sex, women usely care about whom it is they have sex with, male sub's desire degradaation and humiliation not love. just my opionion

(in reply to blondBBWsub)

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RE: Understanding my male sub friends - 7/31/2006 6:17:19 PM

HouseofBear

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There are male submissives out there who enjoy the sexual act and a loving, caring relationship as well. For those who enjoy being denied, there may be several reasons. One as already mentioned is that of humiliation. For others, it seems to heighten the experience of orgasm when they are finally allowed release. I have also run into female submissives who were not interested in the sexual act, they only wished the control and other types of service aspects. Each individual is different.

(in reply to pantyslave101)

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RE: Understanding my male sub friends - 7/31/2006 7:44:06 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
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My personal opinion:

In the world at large in the het community, men chase after sex and women deny. Thus, with a Male Dominant, you're most likely to find a man who wants sex on demand. The women who submit to such are happy to comply, since they have found a way to be allowed to be sexually free. With a Female Dominants who enjoy putting men in chastity, you will find women who consciously control men by denying what they've hunted for since puberty. Men who want to be controlled in this fashion fit well with these women.

But, of course, these are just generalities and, in no way, fit every het person. This is only relevant to those who seek this particular kind of fulfillment. For me, if I have to put a man in a chastity device to keep him from touching himself, he doesn't have what it takes to be one of mine.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
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(in reply to blondBBWsub)

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RE: Understanding my male sub friends - 8/1/2006 12:16:20 AM

TeeGO

Posts: 451
Joined: 12/11/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: blondBBWsub

I hope that I am not out of line by asking this: This is addressed to the Mistresses/Dommes and perhaps Bi Doms here on CM. I have made some friends with some of the male subs here. One thing i don't quite understand is the desire NOT to have sex with their Dommes, but to have a chastity device on, be denied, or to be the cuckold. As a female I very much desire sex with my Dom/Master (not that i have one at this time). Why are male subs different. I dont understand...please enlighten me.

Yes this probably does apply to some male subs. But I can promise you not all.

_____________________________

Life is a mystery to be explored. An open mind is a portal to wondrous experiences!

(in reply to blondBBWsub)

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RE: Understanding my male sub friends - 8/1/2006 6:34:55 AM

Lashra

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My sub male is as sex obsessed as I am, however he does love SHORT term chastity. he says it makes him feel more controlled and that is what alot of subs crave, that feeling of being controlled. If I deny him orgasm while we are having sex, that is my control over him. Yes it builds up the sexual tension, it builds up frustration and..it makes him more submissive. So when I do let him cum, he goes off like a ROCKET! lol

It's alot of fun and he knows I won't let him go more then a couple of days without an orgasm because frankly it turns me on when he does. Yes, my boy is spoiled.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to TeeGO)

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RE: Understanding my male sub friends - 8/1/2006 6:39:01 AM

coca

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when we have to generalized ( although we should not to do it because we can not every person is different then others ) but if we have to , female and male are totaly different.

in my opinion :
male = sex oriented
female = emotional oriented

if asked to a submale what is the biggest deny for them, probably answer is the orgasm denial...
but i assume for females it would be different , not orgasm denial ..the biggest deny might be sensational denial.. not loved etc?

Of course The desires are different for each individual...but when looking objectively mens are generally sex oriented.. and if a submale wants to give his biggest interests control to his Owner it is obvious why he is choosing orgasm denial..

and i think also , after orgasm men and women are giving totaly different reaction.
as a men i can easly say that men are weak because of this reaction.
in my opinion if mens orgasm controlled mens mind can be controled

i can be totally wrong ,but again , these all are my opinions..

regards
coca :)

(in reply to TeeGO)

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RE: Understanding my male sub friends - 8/1/2006 12:38:41 PM

jordanslave

Posts: 1
Joined: 7/31/2006
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Greetings,

quote:

ORIGINAL: pantyslave101

….male sub's desire degradaation and humiliation not love

I disagree, sub-men seek love as well; sub-females seek degradation and humiliation as well.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

It's alot of fun and he knows I won't let him go more then a couple of days without an orgasm because frankly it turns me on when he does. Yes, my boy is spoiled.

Oh…. Ma’am, he should be spoiled to have the chance to turn you on and make you happy. For me, I don’t care if my Mistress denied me of release me…. What I seek is to serve Mistress and make her pleased.

Humble boy,

(in reply to coca)

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RE: Understanding my male sub friends - 8/1/2006 1:01:00 PM

BenignPlague

Posts: 52
Joined: 5/10/2005
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I'm sure everyone here has their own preferences and tastes; to group all men into the category of sex-pursuant and humiliation oriented and all sub-women into a somewhat more romantic and affectionate category misses the point.

Personally, and again, this is entirely preference, I do not have sex with play partners, however well I know them. Rather, if I do, it is not in a scene or in role by any means. Before taking the path of discovery into my D/s side, I first began studying Tantric principles and philosophy. After having tantric sex with my then-girlfriend, anything else seems a slight to my experience: to me, that is more about the nuance and subtlety, and D/s is more about the opposite end of the spectrum.

In fact, I'm rarely less than dressed during these activities; I equate it as an art form, much akin to playing an instrument or painting a masterpiece. While I've never been to a concerto with a naked 2nd violinist, I can see how some people may be inspired in this way, but to me, remaining dressed when a submissive is not further reestablishes dominance.

To each his or her own

(in reply to jordanslave)

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RE: Understanding my male sub friends - 8/1/2006 7:46:17 PM

blondBBWsub

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Thanks for your opinions and insights here. I think I understand a little bit better now. As with everything else there is more than one point of view, which is the way it should be.

(in reply to BenignPlague)

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RE: Understanding my male sub friends - 8/2/2006 5:37:13 PM

LadyAlexa

Posts: 141
Joined: 1/2/2005
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Lots of good answers.

The basic question: why are male subs different? Because they are male.

Some love humiliation, degradation, sex of any type, totally strange and wierd things done to them, hate pain, love pain, want to orally worship any female, wants to orgasm regularly, wants orgasm denial, want to be Dommed to the point of holding their pee....whatever. Some females are like that also.

I won't humiliate a female as I would a male....the mindset of most females just isn't 'set' for that. I enjoy building up my submissives potential, allowing them to find their niche in life, and then hopefully if they don't stay with me, to help them find someone who is right.

_____________________________

Lady Alexa
[amber]

Submission is key not gender.

GLBT approved.

(in reply to blondBBWsub)

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RE: Understanding my male sub friends - 8/2/2006 5:49:56 PM

joyinslavery

Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: blondBBWsub

I hope that I am not out of line by asking this: This is addressed to the Mistresses/Dommes and perhaps Bi Doms here on CM. I have made some friends with some of the male subs here. One thing i don't quite understand is the desire NOT to have sex with their Dommes, but to have a chastity device on, be denied, or to be the cuckold. As a female I very much desire sex with my Dom/Master (not that i have one at this time). Why are male subs different. I dont understand...please enlighten me.

The male sub cannot be fully understood. This complex creature simply feigns simplicity in an effort to illicit a response favorable to his desires, whatever they may be. While many view the male sub as one-dimensional and predictable, he is, in fact, a skilled manipulator. Until someone else walks in the room.

_____________________________

"...we must learn, each one of us, that the world was not made for us, and that, however beautiful may be the things we crave, Fate may nevertheless forbid them."
-Bertrand Russell

Mainstream...The New Alternative

*Beware of dog*

(in reply to blondBBWsub)

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RE: Understanding my male sub friends - 8/2/2006 6:04:04 PM

workboundslave

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Joined: 8/2/2006
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For me I think it's the withholding of such a basic human function the utimate trust and power placed in another human's control is very thrilling.

(in reply to joyinslavery)

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