Submissives and Service

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harmony3709 -> Submissives and Service (12/13/2004 3:15:25 AM)
I was recently confronted again (in real time, not online) with the statement that submissives are not interested in service; they are into BDSM basically for the play aspect and the satisfaction they get from play and/or scening. Along with this line of thinking comes the statement immediately following it that if you DO have a desire to serve, then you are a slave. I, happen to define myself as a submissive, not a slave (although do not discount that for the future), but service is also very important to me. I should add that normally, I don't let the whole definition thing get to me, but I've heard this so often that I'm feeling quite confused. I know the discussion of labels is a constant ongoing debate, and one which has been done frequently, so I'm not looking for specific labels and/or definitions. What I am wondering is, what are some other opinions on this issue of submissives being interested or not interested in service? If you are service oriented, should you identify yourself as a slave as an indication that you are interested in service? Any opinions kindly appreciated, harmony

liljoy -> RE: Submissives and Service (12/13/2004 5:28:12 AM)
i take great exception to the whole thing aout sumissies being self serving instead of having a desire to serve and please our One. i Take great strides to anticipate Master's needs and desires. i try very hard to have something ready for Master before He even asks for it. i do not consider myself as a submissive because Master believes that a slave has NO right except the right to beg for release. While my desire to please and serie Master. i don't not desire to give up all my rights (at least not yet). So i figure i don't neatly fit into either lil box. i think that those of us that are submissives are submissive because of our desire to please and serve. i wonder if those that speak of submissives being only into it for what we get for ourselves, if they are not confusing us with bottoms or masochists? jmho lil_joy

Destinysskeins -> RE: Submissives and Service (12/13/2004 6:46:22 AM)
Greetings, i agree with liljoy on this - i believe the correct term for someone interested in only scenes/playing would be masochists or bottoms (depending on the type of scening they prefer). i consider myself to be a submissive (and perhaps even a switch since i do have those tendencies and am currently contemplating exploring them further) but i am quite service oriented in my relationship with my Master. While i do receive great satisfaction during our scenes i also take great pleasure out of anticipating His needs, fulfilling any requirements/preferences that He might have made known to me when performing a task for Him and merely being ready to assist Him in any way that He might require. Well wishes

srahfox -> RE: Submissives and Service (12/13/2004 8:21:17 AM)
Ditto for me. I do desire to please and serve my Master but neither of us truely wants me to give up complete control of my life. I consider myself a submissive but that doesn't change my desire to please my master. We are all people and therefor can't be fit into perfect little packages.

harmony3709 -> RE: Submissives and Service (12/13/2004 8:59:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: liljoy i think that those of us that are submissives are submissive because of our desire to please and serve. i wonder if those that speak of submissives being only into it for what we get for ourselves, if they are not confusing us with bottoms or masochists? I have felt that way also, that someone who only takes on the role of submissive for play is a bottom, just as I have met several men who call themselves a Dom, and although they may have a dominant personality, their only interest in anything at all in BDSM is play and nothing else; thus, personally I tend to think of them as tops. Although quite frankly, if they heard me refer to them as tops would almost definitely be offended.........why this is, I'm not sure, because I don't see anything derrogatory in the term top or bottom. harmony

proudsub -> RE: Submissives and Service (12/13/2004 3:08:34 PM)
I agree with all the posters above me here. I have been "serving" Hubby for 36 years but never felt i was a slave, as i am free to do as i wish a lot of the time.

garylee -> RE: Submissives and Service (1/19/2005 8:53:10 AM)
alright---alright..... from what little i understand of this....... i am told to understand...that a subbie........IS different than a slave. i am,.....a slave.--''i'' have given up ALL rights to ANY power in my own life. i am told to understand subbies keep some of their own power and are allowed to ask for sex...and play...and whatever their lil hearts desire. as a slave........i have ZERO options to ask for ANYTHING. if this wrong.......please tell me? thanks garylee

INSIDEYOURMIND -> RE: Submissives and Service (1/19/2005 9:00:35 AM)
It seems we are going through a thread that has been discussed many times before. I think it is wrong to get hung up on labels. You are what you are, and if it works for you, then you have no one else to answer to. I have a submissive/slave, I call her carolyn!

darkinshadows -> RE: Submissives and Service (1/19/2005 10:15:59 AM)
Warning... personal view approaching... it isnt set in stone... it isnt right for everyone! I am me. People would probably 'label' me as a submissive. Indeeds, its what I am labelled here at collarme (profile). I belong to my Husband. He is my Master. But it isnt His desire for me to call Him such constantly. He knows what He is, and desire that he does not He need a label. We have our own communication skills and names... that is His choice and I submit to his will. It is how I serve Him. I know one Dominant who considers me to be 'slavelike'... sometimes He calls me 'girl'. This is acceptable by my Husband. I serve this Dominant because I respect Him, and He respects my limits and that I belong to someone. If my Husband wished me not to serve this particular Dominant who is our friend, then I of course submit to His Will. In a way... I am serving harmony... by answering her question, yet she herself is a submissive(her own words). I am allowed to write her because it is my Masters wish to express my views, which belong to Him and are His. I have never considered myself 'slave'... but not because I am not a slave, but because I do not think it covers what a slave within BDSM is. Personal preference. I am blessed that the Owner of me feels the same. I am no less a person because of a label. I serve. I submit. I anticipate my Owners Desires and listen to Him and I obey Him without question. I dont have a choice. I submitted to that and my service depends upon such. His Decision is final. I am a bottom. I would top if that is what the Dominant desires... but that doesnt make me a switch, because its not my choice, its part of my submission and I serve the will. Is that as clear as mud? [:D]

darkinshadows -> RE: Submissives and Service (1/19/2005 10:26:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: garylee alright---alright..... from what little i understand of this....... i am told to understand...that a subbie........IS different than a slave. If this is what you have been told by the person who owns you, then it is right - for you. quote: i am,.....a slave.--''i'' have given up ALL rights to ANY power in my own life. amen to that quote: i am told to understand subbies keep some of their own power and are allowed to ask for sex...and play...and whatever their lil hearts desire. as a slave........i have ZERO options to ask for ANYTHING. that is what your Master/Mistress has decided. and thats between you both. But I am not a slave, i can ask for anything only when Master allows. But in His wisdom, I do not have to ask because He already knows me and fulfils my needs as I serve His desires. My needs are what He desires, therefore i submit to them and to Him without question. Make sense? quote: if this wrong.......please tell me? thanks garylee your not wrong... if that is what your Master/Mistress/Dominant/Dominia has decided. But for others, it may be a different thing. Doesnt make them any less... or any more... wrong or right.

nella -> RE: Submissives and Service (1/19/2005 10:33:08 AM)
This depends. i am a submissive and i have no paticular wish to clean somone house, basicaly becouse i have no time for it, but other submissives want this type of service. The tern slave and submissive is rather peronal and much controvercy exist as to their meaning.

ProtagonistLily -> RE: Submissives and Service (1/19/2005 10:38:42 AM)
quote: i agree with liljoy on this - i believe the correct term for someone interested in only scenes/playing would be masochists or bottoms (depending on the type of scening they prefer). Hey all, I always enjoy hearing other people's definitions as they relate to themselves in the scene. For me, a masochist is a person who's only interested in the play aspects. A bottom, however, as I define it for myself, as in "I bottomed to" Dom(me) X, for me means this is a person, who I know, who I am not collared to or have an ongoing relationship with, who I play with. So when I was 'bottoming" (playing with people who were not my Master/Mistress) I could be collared at the same time. So, having 'bottomed' to a particular person doesn't detract, for me at least, whether a person is actually a submissive or a slave. It simply, for me, denotes that there isn't a formal BDSM relationship between the person I either played with or play with now as a Top. (Again, I use Top to denote that I am not in a formal relationship with the person who 'bottoms' to me. Otherwise, these relationships would be denoted with Domme and submissive/slave) Great turn this thread took. L

Suleiman -> RE: Submissives and Service (1/19/2005 10:47:33 AM)
Just remember that an opinion is not a fact, dear, and there is no bondage court handing down categorical definitions of terms used by members of the scene. Labels are nearly meaningless, and for every person who has a clear handle on their personal philosophy, there are a dozen mindless twits who opine on everything while revealing nothing, and there are a gross of misinformed gecks who mindlessly repeat what they have been told, from whatever source, without any clue as to the verity of the statement. The gecks are easy to tell apart, but the twits and philosophers are a bit difficult. Since you don't really know me, you might consider my statement suspect, and you would be wise to do so.

nella -> RE: Submissives and Service (1/19/2005 10:51:34 AM)
True Suleiman i can call myself anything from bottom to slave and noen but me and my Dom would realy know what the word meant for us.

ProtagonistLily -> RE: Submissives and Service (1/19/2005 10:55:44 AM)
quote: True Suleiman i can call myself anything from bottom to slave and noen but me and my Dom would realy know what the word meant for us. Talking about love is like dancing about architecture..... I can call myself anything I want...what matters is that you UNDERSTAND why I call myself that thing...regardless of whether you agree with or not.

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