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scottjk -> RE: Lables!! (8/1/2006 5:54:43 PM)
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I agree Adam,
I just don't understand what the aversion to a personal label in this lifestyle is all about. It helps others identify with you at several levels. Sure, some people seem to cop an attitude, "Oh, she's jsut a bottom, or sub, or...", whatever. Fine, if that's how people want to use those labels, then they're not ones that I'd want to associate with. The point of labels is so that you can have a frame of reference so you can relate, to understand the point of view of the one that uses a particular label.
YES, I can relate to people as people, but when we discuss this lifestyle, it helps to use a label as a frame of reference.
It's no different in my mind as using 'him' or 'her', 'his' or 'hers', or making statements like, "From a sub's point of view..." or "From a switch's point of view". Without them, it causes a lot of confusion, and frankly, pissing matches too. :)
sublizzie, I would label you as a submissive, simply because it gives me a general frame of reference to better understand where you are coming from, it DOESN'T mean that I would consider you as a masochist, though. I'm not trying to pidgeon hole you, but it gives me a frame of reference to work with in communicating with you.
SwtMazokst, I would label you as a switch, simply because you are a professional Domme and probably a private sub. That's fine, it gives me a GENERAL frame of reference. Same reason as above. Yes, I understand the issues that it brings up, but what's a guy to do? [;)] However, I've got the intelligence to understand that being a Domme is your profession, and it fits into your submissive needs in terms of service. Since you took the time to let me get to know you, I know how to better relate to you. Again, it's important to use a label in general terms.
I'll clarify, the use of a label is a tool, and like any tool, it can be abused, as well as employed effectively. It provides a foundation towards better understanding, but it's never intended to be an absolute, like my box example. If I just said, "I need a box", it'll invoke questions. "What kind of box?"
General labels inherently require clarification, and most people understand that. The rub is when we run into people that hear the word, 'sub', 'switch', 'dom', they think they've got the tiger by the tail, close thier minds and stop listening. [:D] Not me, and I'm pretty sure most people you run into that have some intelligence don't either. Additionally, a label is something of a courtesy to those you're relating to, you're helping them establish a foundation to work from, rather than making them fish around until they accidently find a way to relate to you, and therefore understand you. [:)]
<boy, if you read that before I edited it, I apologize, some how the editor got it messed up!>
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