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Suleiman -> RE: Collaring (12/13/2004 4:35:09 PM)
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The auntie that initiated me informed me quite seriously that a submissive is not permanently owned until the entire clique comes together as a circle, the submissive is publicly branded by the would-be owner (or by their protector if an intermediary has been used to broker the sale). The fire for heating the brinding iron would need to be built from cedar and lignum aloes, and a goat must first be sacraficed, the blood spilled around the pillory, and the fat and entrails heaped upon the fire as it burned. After the branding ceremony, the goat would be quartered, a portion set aside for the community barbeque, and the reast heaped upon the fire as a peace offering to the horned man at the crossroads. Only then would the union be sanctified and considered valid.
Okay, just had to get that out of my system.
There is no universal set of rules or protocols. At best, you can follow the guidelines of your particular clique. Out here in the SF bay area, there are dozens of micro-cliques, which break down into little sub-communities, which more or less forms the gigantic morass of "THE SCENE". As has been pointed out elsewhere, there is no monolithic scene. As an overarching community, we can't even agree on basic principles of safety and ethical practice (although there tend to be broad areas of general agreement in these areas, but we still get bogged down arguing the details).
To tell the truth, marriage is marriage. Ownership is ownership. Adoption is adoption, legal guardianship is legal guardianship. Labels only matter if there's a legal entity keeping track of your status (the state or church, for instance) or you are a participating member in an active community, and so is your sub. The latter dosen't even matter so much, since communities break up, people move, and scenes fade.
Some folks marry their slave, some don't. Some folks undergo adult adoption or legal guardianship in order to have essentially the same rights and priveledges as a married couple without actually getting married. Most of the time, it's just a simple agreement between dominant and submissive. A collar is a collar. A gold ring is a gold ring. I have a gold ring. My firends, family, and community consider it to have been a token gesture, since everyone considered my wife and I to have been married for years prior to the ceremony. The state considered it a token gesture, since we were married when all of the paperwork was properly filed. I don't think that my marriage began when I exchanged rings with my wife. I consider my marriage to have begun the blessed second when she finally said yes.
Do you want to be married? Say yes. In a situation like this, the only rituals that matter are the ones you and your significant other agree to.
But it wouldn't hurt to have a barbeque and slaughter a goat, just to be safe.
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