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RE: How Can I let him know - respectfully? - 8/2/2006 4:47:51 PM

afeathr

Posts: 248
Joined: 6/1/2006
From: Southern California
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quote:

ORIGINAL: pattiann

Please tell me how to let my potential master know that I need more contact, more instruction and more face time? We've talked online a lot, and have met once but I am craving more. I hear so much of topping from the bottom, and I don't want that.

If it were a vanilla relationship and I wasn't getting what I need from him, I'd find someone else to meet those needs. But I want to tell him in a clear non-threatening manner that he needs to step it up just a bit.

PattiAnn

I had *exactly* the same situation happen, and I just told him. I got on the phone and said, "I need more time with you." and he made it happen! Come to find out that he was 'taking it slow' to see how things were going to work out and when I expressed my desire to spend more time with him, that gave him the hint that he needed to push the relationship forward. Communication is the key, and you can find a way to say it respectfully. I used the, "I feel like..." statements and they worked great!

Good Luck!

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afeathr

-Going where the wind blows me...

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RE: How Can I let him know - respectfully? - 8/2/2006 5:35:05 PM

pattiann

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Joined: 7/2/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: swtnsparkling

When your first started talking did you ever ask him, just how much time he is able to give to you and the relationship?

No. I didn't ask. I really had not idea what to ask in the beginning. He has said he isn't looking for 24/7, has a vanilla gf. and wants someone to meet those 'other' needs. Being new, I assumed he knew more about my desires than I did. I don't think that either of us has been dishonest. Only that my needs have changed.

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RE: How Can I let him know - respectfully? - 8/2/2006 6:01:47 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: pattiann
No. I didn't ask. I really had not idea what to ask in the beginning. He has said he isn't looking for 24/7, has a vanilla gf. and wants someone to meet those 'other' needs. Being new, I assumed he knew more about my desires than I did. I don't think that either of us has been dishonest. Only that my needs have changed.

Doms are not mind readers, specially doms who cheat- their own minds are filled with more than enough to keep them busy.

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RE: How Can I let him know - respectfully? - 8/2/2006 6:13:19 PM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
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I agree with Dark, just come out and ask him nicely.
If that doesn't work then,............on your knees! Beg!

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RE: How Can I let him know - respectfully? - 8/2/2006 7:11:09 PM

kunlex2003

Posts: 5
Joined: 7/31/2006
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I know with you everything will be alright nomatters how the hill may far.
I will be a someone special to your heart if you really take me as i am.
Actually, my name is olubajo...my friends called me kunlex..am very playing..acting..joking and most expecially funny..i like playing football ect.
i need your Reply .

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RE: How Can I let him know - respectfully? - 8/2/2006 7:14:00 PM

kunlex2003

Posts: 5
Joined: 7/31/2006
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I will know if you can reaqch me most of the time you have been spending you can spend some with me.

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RE: How Can I let him know - respectfully? - 8/3/2006 6:04:32 AM

swtnsparkling

Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
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Pattiann - I feel it is very important question to ask and now you know too. Also
IMO if he has a g/f the amount of time he will be willing to give you I doubt would ever be enough. His g/f - work etc will come first.
You would end up being a little side fun.

Perhaps keep looking for some one not already in a relationship.
I wish you the best

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A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please

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RE: How Can I let him know - respectfully? - 8/3/2006 6:38:52 AM

nephandi

Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
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Perhaps he thinks you want things to go wery slow and he is afride to frighten you of, just tell him, directly that you need more time whit him, just do it respectfully and you should be fine. i hope all go well.

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RE: How Can I let him know - respectfully? - 8/3/2006 12:05:37 PM

Devilslilsister

Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
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quote:

Please tell me how to let my potential master know that I need more contact, more instruction and more face time? We've talked online a lot, and have met once but I am craving more. I hear so much of topping from the bottom, and I don't want that.

If it were a vanilla relationship and I wasn't getting what I need from him, I'd find someone else to meet those needs. But I want to tell him in a clear non-threatening manner that he needs to step it up just a bit.

PattiAnn

You says... WHORE! i needs attention!

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RE: How Can I let him know - respectfully? - 8/3/2006 12:31:34 PM

Tamerofwild1s

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Joined: 12/5/2004
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good luck pattiann

I think many here have given you great advice ..... as long as the communication doesn't come off as do this or I'm walking . you should be fine .. simply asking him if he has plans for more real time experiences with you so that you might learn to serve him better is always a good way of starting things .... once the conversation has gotten underway just keep your earnest desires to serve him better as the focus of your replies and you should end up getting everything you need

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A building get torched. All that is left is ashes. I used to think that it is true about everything - family, friends, feelings - but now I know that sometimes if love proves real, and two people are meant to be together, nothing can keep them apart ~

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