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spoilt26981 -> RE: Disheartened...<sigh> (8/8/2006 2:53:23 PM)
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DISCLAIMER: this is taken straight from a journal i came and is meant for my eyes only but it is here as my Master wanted me to share my feeling on our first public play and in fact my first real public play, so they are MY thoughts and feeling and aren't aim at any one that was there. Public play has never been something i have been to keen on but it had been discussed between Master and i for rough a month will since julys L.A.M as ArianDom had asked if we would try out some flogger He makes (more about those in a minute), I've had many feeling on this subject in the last month some where by its seem like a great idea and some where i just want to run as far away from the idea as possible but after many lengthy talks with Master about it i was starting to feel slightly more at ease. Due to an abusive relationship i can shy and scared easily and being fixed to something with my back to a room full of people with floggers canes and rather such things was just way to much for me to even think of doing Master came up with an idea of using one of the crosses and not using the restraints, just me holding on which meant if i need to move quickly or turn to see where he was i could which helped a great deal and it was agreed that is what would happen. So there we are on the day on L.A.M I've not seen Master since kink fest (8 days ago) i've missed him like mad We've sat at talk most of the morning away (nothing new there as time fly's when we are together an hour to us is like 6 hours in real time). i had mentioned at kinkfest that i had like the demo done by Master Chopper and really loved the patterns He had made and that i would have like to try them, now this can not be done with Master cane as it reminds me of a broom handle (feels good but not the cute little patterns i was looking for) so as we walked round the stall he decided to head over to Master Chopper to see which is the best cane for the job well before long there i was backside on show to EVERYONE having a diamond pattern placed on it (and oh what joy) Well as i left my head up im greeted by no other the ArianDom and a back of floggers but to my disappointment i have to wait a few hour before being able to use those (damn was so ready then after the canning i was ready for any play it felt good) (THANK YOU Master Chopper) Well over at the after party, yes i missed a gap in the day but nothing really to comment on here was mainly talking but none the less i had a fab day with fab people and most of all my Master, now oh yes back to the after party, well we got there around 6pm the pub starting to fill nicely but its so hot we head outside we sit talk im so relaxed its unreal i know that just round the corner is 8 floggers waiting for me but yet im so relaxed i feel great i yet again surrounded by amazing people talking to people and laughing joking, im sent to the bar to gap drinks as i sit back down im asked if im comfortable i reply in and was told to tell Master when i was so i knew what was coming a small fear feeling started to rise i replayed i was ready when He was so we headed inside MAster ArianDom and me i remove my skirt and sort out my top gap a glass of cold water from the bar and take my place on the lovely cross (purple and black i mean how great purple being my favourite colour) i stood there and i cant hear anyone else in the room it like we are the only ones there i can hear Master talking yet no one else i relax soon feeling at home so when Master comes over and asks if im ok and ready if ask if we can use the arm wrist cuffs He looked puzzled but placed on. i felt so helpless yet safe all those worries gone im there a helpless girl wait for a pleasure only her MAster can bring waiting for him to begin and then there it was the for strike with the first flogger and wow my heat skips a beat the more He strike the more excited i get, i wouldn't have said it was space sub i was heading (as subspace is not a word i use) but i would say i was floating in and out of different levels, each of the 8 floggers used brought new feel and in many ways brought me closer to my Master, i enjoyed all of it bar the Last flogger in was a blue cat o `nine tails braided leather tail and OMG it STINGS i didn't take much of that and NEVER want it again please. once released i was allowed to redress and join Master and ArianDom, i sat there talking away, i found forming words difficult i was coming back to earth as it were, thanking them both. so there we having my first public play and well Master when the next???? So once again Master and ArianDom THANK YOU.
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