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Conflicting feelings! - 8/2/2006 9:31:25 PM

musicislove

Posts: 2
Joined: 8/2/2006
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Hi all. I'm in a commited relationship and my girlfriend has much more experience than I have had with bdsm. She's 26 and 16 years younger than I am, Through actions in bed and discussions I've learned that she was a slave for two years with a few different masters when she was 19 and 20. I find myself feeling very jealous that she's gotten a chance to let her sexuality blossom and have had sex in ways I never even dreamed about, well maybe a little.
   Lately I've been driving myself and her crazy with questioning her about her past, partly because it turns me on and other times I feel like oh my god and the jealousy kicks in, it's so frustrating going between these two emotions! I find myself imagining her roles and what it looked liked......

For awhile I seemed to feel most comfortable when she's my dom and enjoy many aspects of it especially the strap ons.

When she's my sub, which rarely happens I can get very turned on by it but then most of the time I start judging my performance because she's had so much experience.
    I seem to be the only one bringing up the discusions of bdsm and group sex,, but she listens well and says she's open to me exploring with others but when it comes down to it she's not as comfortable as she thought and I don't persuit it.

Not sure what I'm really asking for here, but I thought I would put all of this out there and see what other have to say.

Sometimes I want a Mistress too take me and open up a new world for me.

the fantasies flow like a fast river.....

I'm just tired of feeling the mixed emotions with it all, she and I defiantly have fun play together and she can deliver a very pleasurable spanking, ouch, yum!

   I want to get over my jealousy! Am I the only one who has jealousy issues on this board?

Thanks for listening

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RE: Conflicting feelings! - 8/2/2006 9:44:14 PM

myst2

Posts: 44
Joined: 7/25/2006
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Jealousy is an evil little thing that can compromise even the best relationship!!

Me jealous..........nahhhhhhhhhh nevah!!

grinsssss

myst

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Just another little girl !!

(in reply to musicislove)

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RE: Conflicting feelings! - 8/3/2006 5:37:36 PM

SavageEu

Posts: 197
Joined: 7/8/2006
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*pets myst2* Good girl I was hoping that jealousy was not something that you had too many problems with.

Ah, musicislove, I think we all deal with some jealousy at times, check out the poly forum, While its not the exact thing you are dealing with it talks a lot about jealousy and how to deal with it.

.

(in reply to myst2)

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RE: Conflicting feelings! - 8/3/2006 5:52:40 PM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
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Sounds like your trying to decide if your a Dom/sub/switch and also your a bit upset about her past. Also when she Tops you, are you comparing her performance to your own? I had an experience like that with my current sub, he was a Master when I met him. He has discovered he is truly a submale, but for awhile when we were first together playing as switches he would compare his performance to my own and was discouraged because he felt his Dom technique left something to be desired when compared to my own. I frankly don't like to play bottom very often and that has worked out for us because he loves it.

I think if you focus on what makes you BOTH happy instead of focusing on performance, you will find your place and be all the more happier.

Good luck

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to SavageEu)

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RE: Conflicting feelings! - 8/11/2006 6:08:50 AM

musicislove

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Joined: 8/2/2006
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Thanks Lashra for you suggestive words of wisdom, it's been difficult deealing with jealousy and being honest and posting it here but ....I know where it comes from and takes time too get rid of it. What a wasted emotion.

This weekend I'm her slave, and doing my best to please her and accept whatever she has to give me. Hopefully I'll be rewarded for my good behavior. I drove my mistress to work this morning after she had her way with me, my ass is still sore. I'll do my best not to compare and just let be what will be.

Any words of wisdom for this wknd sub?

(in reply to Lashra)

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RE: Conflicting feelings! - 8/11/2006 6:18:00 AM

DMascus

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Joined: 8/9/2006
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Jealousy is an evil little critter. Good luck.

(in reply to musicislove)

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RE: Conflicting feelings! - 8/11/2006 6:38:16 AM

jodicat

Posts: 5
Joined: 8/6/2006
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ahhhhh - but a little bit of jealousy can be a good thing - it can inspire you to work harder and be 'better' than your imagined competition.

(in reply to DMascus)

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RE: Conflicting feelings! - 8/11/2006 7:30:46 AM

MistressMaamNH

Posts: 211
Joined: 8/11/2004
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More than the jealousy, what I get out of this is two different conflicts.
1. The age difference (seems you may equate age with experience)
2. Finding exactly where your place in the D/s relationship you feel most suited. (Top, Dom, switch, slave, sub, bottom)

Once those two things are settled within in, I would suspect that the issue of being overly curious about her past experience won't be such an driving force.

Best of luck to you on this quest.

MMNH

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Let Me lay you softly, down onto the thorns...

(in reply to musicislove)

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Jealousy (was RE: Conflicting feelings!) - 8/11/2006 10:42:28 AM

AWittyDuo

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Joined: 7/27/2006
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This is not my first open relationship but certainly my first one since embracing the label 'Polyamorous'. What I've found is that the times I'm jealous are times when I am feeling insecure about some element of the relationship. Once I identify teh source of my insecurity, I can dissipate the jealousy.

The main thing is communicate, communicate, communicate wityh each other.

(in reply to musicislove)

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