RE: Lesbian Dommes and bisexuality

RE: Lesbian Dommes and bisexuality (Full Version)

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imadom4u -> RE: Lesbian Dommes and bisexuality (8/16/2006 8:41:31 AM)
quote: I happen to be one of those Dommes.I have a good reason to be somewhat of a man hater...I think rape would qualify Me as being able to hate SOME men. I would think so too. quote: My goal is to train them to treat Women better We need more like you doing this in my opinion. quote: and if it means grabbing their nuts and threanting to slice them off then by jiminy cricket I'll do it dammit. Now this is what I'm talking about! CHILLS! LOL

BigEyes -> RE: Lesbian Dommes and bisexuality (8/16/2006 8:22:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressSassy66 I happen to be one of those Dommes.I have a good reason to be somewhat of a man hater...I think rape would qualify Me as being able to hate SOME men. Do I take it out on My sumbissives only if they ,that person deserves it. My goal is to train them to treat Women better and if it means grabbing their nuts and threanting to slice them off then by jiminy cricket I'll do it dammit. I like your attitude! However, rape hasn't left me hating men - just more protective of myself. I am very aware of shooting myself in the foot by being too general about men in my own mind - just because I have had a bad experience with one desperado doesn't allow me to hate them all! I am liking your work though - however unfortunatly those who come to you probably already respect women. It's those that don't that need the whipping!!

mommysgoodgirl -> RE: Lesbian Dommes and bisexuality (8/18/2006 1:54:15 AM)
I just wish there were more lesbian dommes out there who are seeking lesbian subs. It seems that everyone interested in me ends up living half-a-world-away.

LeatherRose -> RE: Lesbian Dommes and bisexuality (8/18/2006 10:53:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BigEyes But if I want to spend a lot of time with a certain woman, sincerely care for her and also find her sexually attractive, but have generally had boyfriends, does that make me bisexual? Am I pretending even if there is no one there but her and I? Do I have to pass a test? Who knows! Perhaps for once the kink world is more straightforward - many people are not so bothered about sexual orientation, whereas vanilla relationships seem to demand much stricter rules when it comes to bisexuality.. I'm generally confused - not about how I feel or my sexuality, but about the reactions of others. Any thoughts? :( Big Eyes x It has been 13 years that my husband and I have been together, almost 10 of those in marriage. Gradually over time we came to realise that I was bisexual, I mean I would be pointing women out to my man, not the other way around. Imagine our surprise when I found myself in love with our closest mutual friend, a lesbian. She was like a sister to my husband, and to me a dear friend. She was my husband only female, and she and I had so many things in common I felt she was my soulmate. (She is vanilla btw) After my husband and I did lots of talking and lots of torment and crying on my part, I finally wrote her a letter and told her how I felt about her, including in there that my husband was willing to let us (she and I) have time together. She has never spoken to me since. She won't come near me, won't even look at me. She will say hi to my husband but that's about it. Was I hurt? You betcha, I was crushed. Does it still hurt? Yes, she still has a small part of my heart but I've made peace with myself. When a time came in my life that I felt I was a switch after 10 years of being a sub, once again I had some friends pull away. Same thing when I finally came to my completion of realising that I am Dominant with masochist tendencies. Again, the friends fall away. I guess what I am saying here is this: No matter whether in the vanilla world or our's, no matter the orientation of the person, there are always going to be those people out there that are predjudice and some of them will be those you thought you knew best. You find out who really are your friends and those that aren't. Sorry if this sound just too cryptic, but I'm not a very trusting person anymore. On the upside, there are those jems of people out there that love us for who and what we are no matter what. Those are the ones you want to hold on to forever, for they are rare indeed. Good luck on your journey BigEyes, LeatherRose

mellian -> RE: Lesbian Dommes and bisexuality (8/19/2006 11:18:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mommysgoodgirl I just wish there were more lesbian dommes out there who are seeking lesbian subs. It seems that everyone interested in me ends up living half-a-world-away. Tell me about it. Community here in Ottawa is to small and the city to conservative attitudes wise, so tend to be low numbers of Lesbian Dommes here and those that do exist tend not to be involved in the BDSM community. There will be a pansexual bdsm party next friday and a Ms Leather competition following saturday which may draw them out, so who knows. -mellian

undergroundsea -> RE: Lesbian Dommes and bisexuality (8/21/2006 8:16:27 AM)
I am a male sub and have had encounters or submissive relationships with multiple lesbian dommes. This has occurred despite my general assumption upon meeting a lesbian that she does not see me as a compatible partner, and not making any such pursuits. So I think the answer to the original question is yes, and I think the matter is subjective. To add to the comments made by male subs about lesbian dommes, I find myself drawn to the idea. I think the reason for this draw is that such a relationship is more like a classic servant relationship. Sexual contact or romance is forbidden for the servant. While such a dynamic can be had with a heterosexual woman, what is different here is that I can be subservient to the person who is a romantic and sexual partner to the domme. I cannot assume this role towards a man. I have had a subservient relationship with a lesbian couple in this manner for almost three years. That said, such a relationship does not align with what I seek for a long-term, exclusive relationship. It meets my BDSM wants but not the want for a primary companion. Cheers, Sea

LotusSong -> RE: Lesbian Dommes and bisexuality (8/23/2006 5:11:08 PM)
I have a question that's been on my mind that would fit here (I think): If one is constantly having sex with the same sex partner and claiming bisexuality... at what point do they realize they just might be gay?

LeatherRose -> RE: Lesbian Dommes and bisexuality (8/23/2006 10:30:11 PM)
Answering the first part here, every person has their own revelation differently. Answering the second part, um big mixup here honey, bi means lovin' both sexes, not just being gay which is exclusive to one gender. It means lovin' dicks and clits! OH YEAH! LeatherRose

LotusSong -> RE: Lesbian Dommes and bisexuality (8/24/2006 6:44:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LeatherRose Answering the first part here, every person has their own revelation differently. Answering the second part, um big mixup here honey, bi means lovin' both sexes, not just being gay which is exclusive to one gender. It means lovin' dicks and clits! OH YEAH! LeatherRose I've observed that one leans to one side more than the other. But thanks for your answer, "honey"

bloodrose18 -> RE: Lesbian Dommes and bisexuality (8/25/2006 10:08:35 PM)
I actually am bisexual...I have dated girls and guys, had sex with both, and loved it with both. I am engaged to a man, but that is simply because he is the one who won my heart. But I would have been just as comfortable being engaged to, or marrying, a woman, if I loved her like this. I have never used my "bisexuality" to attract men, in fact, most people don't even know it about me, unless I happened to be dating a girl when they met me! I like to think of myself as "equal opportunity." If I am attracted to someone, and feel an emotional connection, it doesn't matter their gender at all.

MistressMelissa -> RE: Lesbian Dommes and bisexuality (8/26/2006 9:14:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MisstressStella I am a Lesbian Dominant and I loved your question. It is often a point of great confusion in the lifestyle. Sexual orientation, in my opinion, does not matter in a D/s relationship because it is power exchange not sex exchange. I select a submissive based on many factors none of which are their sexual preference. Their sexual preference is, however, a meaningful part of getting to know them as a person. Amen! Service is not about gender or sexual orientation. Heck, it's not even about sex. It's about being of use and being found useful. It's knowing that you made your owner happy and that's that. Should your owner chose to use you sexually that is just icing on the cake.

DivaDuchess -> RE: Lesbian Dommes and bisexuality (8/26/2006 11:36:22 AM)
One of my best friends is lesbian. I myself identify as bisexual. I have had relationships with both men and women and frankly love the 'best of both worlds' scenerio lol. I treat my slaves, those I train and those in My own home equally ... don't care if they're male or female ... straight or not. If the situation requires an attitude adjustment, regardless of sexuality, I give it. So to answer to original question pointedly ... Nope, it doesn't matter to Me. Diva

LeatherRose -> RE: Lesbian Dommes and bisexuality (8/27/2006 1:34:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong I've observed that one leans to one side more than the other. But thanks for your answer, "honey" No prob, I just think of myself as an Equal Opportunist is all. * wink, wink, nudge, nudge* LeatherRose

porcelaine -> RE: Lesbian Dommes and bisexuality (8/27/2006 1:53:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BigEyes Just wondering - do any lesbian Dommes ever consider bisexual girls? How do you feel about the whole bisexual thing? Is it all or nothing? I hope I don't offend anyone with this question and if I do I'm sorry - I'm genuinely curious. Big Eyes My experiences in the lifestyle began with my previous partner - a female that identified herself as submissive. She was clearly lesbian and I had no problem engaging in this way. At that time in my life I was fully committed to relationships involving women, however I seek something different at present. I should confess that while I am willing to submit for men, under no circumstances will I bottom for a woman. I just have no interest in that role. I don't think you will have any problem being approached. Many lesbian women are quite accepting of bisexual woman. Some have found that we are more adventurous and they enjoy this immensely. Although I am definitely straight with a wicked curve, there is something for everyone. Play only scenarios, more involved relations, and monogamous pairings are all options that you have at your disposal. The exploration and discovery of your identity is a wonderful thing. Enjoy this time and don't feel compelled to pigeon hole yourself into a label that may no longer apply down the road. Best of luck. porcelaine

MisstressStella -> RE: Lesbian Dommes and bisexuality (8/27/2006 7:50:38 PM)
LotusSong, I think most people that have sex on a "flexible" basis are bisexual. Meaning they are happy with a male or female. Lesbian/Gay people usually stick with the same sex. By the way, I didn't know Lesbian FemDom was so rare? Hmmm Lady Stella

MistressWolfen -> RE: Lesbian Dommes and bisexuality (8/27/2006 8:10:57 PM)
I agree bloodrose, I have always been quite honest in stating that I am an equal opportunity kinda dominant...affirmative action and all yanno. But in response to the OP, I identify as bisexual because in all honesty there is no other "label" for what I am. I am way old and unattractive so that whole "pink parde" thing ain't happening here at all. I have never differentiated on gender with those I care for or want to be intimate with; nor have any of the lesbian's I have been intimate with. In support of previous respondents wiitwd (to me) has so very little to do with gender that it matters less and less as I grow older. I think we need a category box that we can check that says omnisexual, and then all the political labelling can be tucked into bed. Oh, and yes I know many lesbian dominants that accept bi-sexual girls, as well as boi's and even on occasion boys. edited for really really bad punctuation

underyourlash -> RE: Lesbian Dommes and bisexuality (8/28/2006 3:35:25 PM)
Wow. This thread's a great read. LeatherRose's accounts were a great illustration, I believe, where personal desires don't always lead to where we hope they will. It may be unfair but we are judged sometimes not on the issues that we think are pertinent. It's just conjecture... but some of the losses of friends could have accrued because of deemed unacceptable behavior, not changes in orientation. To the first situation, the female lesbian friend may simply have disapproved of a "wandering eye" mate, especially if she was friends with the husband first. Too harsh? maybe, probably depends, as does everything, on the person. It seems a great deal of the time, hang ups are things that we hold ourselves back with. I have quite a few myself, of course. I would hope that I could be more open...

vivian35 -> Lesbian Dommes and bisexuality (9/12/2006 6:36:26 PM)
As a lesbian submissive who has served several dommes, at least in the circles I have moved in, there have been very few bi submisives. Most of the dommes I know prefer a lesbian sub.

TheMightyBitch -> RE: Lesbian Dommes and bisexuality (9/12/2006 6:59:26 PM)
I am fairly new to the bdsm lifestyle and lean heavly towasrds M/s interactions. Most of my life I considered myself Lesbian. It has been a bit ackward but enjoyable for me to realize I can enjoy the company of a male in the role of a submissiveor slave! It took a year and a half of on again off again experimenting with men (at first I was repulsed) to start to become comfortable in handling the male body. Now I find myself looking at male profiles with a twinkle in my eye. I think bdsm has turned me into a bisexual!!!! I'm resisting changing my profile from "Lesbian" to "bi" but at the rate I am going I am changing rapidly. It is hard to give up 28 years worth of identity.

MisPandora -> RE: Lesbian Dommes and bisexuality (9/13/2006 12:23:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mellian quote: ORIGINAL: mommysgoodgirl I just wish there were more lesbian dommes out there who are seeking lesbian subs. It seems that everyone interested in me ends up living half-a-world-away. Tell me about it. Community here in Ottawa is to small and the city to conservative attitudes wise, so tend to be low numbers of Lesbian Dommes here and those that do exist tend not to be involved in the BDSM community. There will be a pansexual bdsm party next friday and a Ms Leather competition following saturday which may draw them out, so who knows. -mellian Huh. Ottawa is HOME to Canadian Leatherwoman Charmyn Potechin........and she's told me about her community and how there is an enclave of hardcore lesbian leatherwomen.

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