Anally speaking... *and beggin and cryin and and*

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Anally speaking... *and beggin and cryin and and* - 12/14/2004 9:48:17 AM

SweetlyMisguided

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Joined: 2/10/2004
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After reading about the first experiences of many others... I got to thinking of my first experience with Master...

It hurt... It hurt like hell... And he stopped... He didn't force the issue, but when tried again... it still hurt like hell, so once again he stopped... Plenty of lube was used, before hand was great... but it still hurt...

Now because of that, I know he WANTS it... yet is reluctant to do it/try it again. He doesn't want to force the issue due to traumatic issues... But by damn... I want to please him, and in pleasing him, giving him something I have never freely given another access to.

I'm sure I could say "Master please ass fuck me" but i would be met with a weird lookand a "Is that what you really want or are you just saying it because"... Yet honestly... It's something that I want to try again, not for my pleasure, but for his as I know it is something that he greatly enjoys...

So... in your relationships... How do you go about broaching something like this when they are clearly afraid of forcing the issue or causing the pain due to ones past? What are some good communication comments that I could use to help him understand this a little more...

And better yet... what the hell can I do to make him realize that it's ok if I cry/hurt/whimper during this? I'm a big girl... I can deal with the pain... and if it makes him happy, then in the end... regardless... I am sure that I will be happy... (even if my ass is a little sore)...

But on second thoughts... suggestions beside the norm LOTS of LUBE and foreplay would be greatly appreciated.

Cari

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RE: Anally speaking... *and beggin and cryin and and* - 12/14/2004 10:08:34 AM

cariad

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From: Calgary, Alberta
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this slave has had many a bad experience and Master does not wish to push the issue. however, this slave has said to Him a few times when W/we were together in Aug. in Pennsylvania..."Master, this slave knows that You wish to not bring back some painful memories but she really wants to push this "limit" and trusts You to help her do so safely." after that He took His time doing what it was W/we had tried to do and weren't able to because this slave started to whimper and cry.

perhaps saying something along those lines may help Him understand what you are trying to say and in that same breath tell Him that it's ok if you whimper, cry and hurt during this because it is something you wish to do because it pleases Him and it is something YOU wish to give Him.

hope this helps a lil bit...take care and happy holidays

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RE: Anally speaking... *and beggin and cryin and and* - 12/14/2004 1:54:40 PM

EStrict

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Ok,, now, call me niave (cause I really was), but I did anal sex the first time before I did regular sex because he convinced me he wanted me to be able to stay a virgin and I was not good at no. It hurt like hell, I bleed, couldn't walk right for days and I swore I would never do it again.

I did it once with a dominant that I promised to try with, and he took a LONG time playing with me... he did fingers (with a glove and lots of lube) while I was tied wrist to ankle. and on my knees. He played with my clit to get me really excited and able to relax as he worked in a second finger and loosed me up before preceeding. He took his time in entering, gave me time to adjust, and went slow, playing with my clit the the entire time. Eventually I was ready for him to go for it, and it was actually very awesome.

So, my advice is go slow, warm up, use lots of lube, and do other things that turn you on at the same time....

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RE: Anally speaking... *and beggin and cryin and and* - 12/14/2004 4:48:41 PM

Kwix

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From a dominant's point of view this is a tough one. My ultimate concern is for the physical and mental well being of my sub. There have been issues in the past (this one included) where a fair amount of convincing was required on both sides that the course of action was one that could be taken, albiet slowly. The best advice I can give you is to let him know that by not being able to fully please him, you feel somehow disenfranchised or cheated and really, really, really want to try it again. If it fails again, then so be it, but so long as you feel it is worthwhile to pursue it, then by all means let him know!

As for actual technique Estrict had it right, take it slow and easy, interspersed with lots of relaxing play. Doesn't hurt to take a nice hot bath prior to any attempts either (especially given the time of year it is now).

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RE: Anally speaking... *and beggin and cryin and and* - 12/14/2004 5:42:54 PM

TahoeSadist

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Well, as I can just speak for myself, I think an approach along these lines may help:
Often a gradual approach to anal play is taken, with progressively sized plugs and such. So if you asked *for* such training, it seems this would serve 2 purposes: first, you can let him know that you are wanting to be able to do this act which pleases him greatly, so much so that you're activlely seeking to make it work, which I'd think woul dbe taken as a wonderful compliment on his part. Second, with gradual work at it, it will become easier for you, and you may discover that you actually enjoy it (hard to say of course)
Just my thoughts on it, and I think you have a wonderful attitude to look for ways to please your master. :)

Eric

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RE: Anally speaking... *and beggin and cryin and and* - 12/15/2004 8:41:24 AM

srahfox

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If I may be excused for butting it the Masters forum.... The methods expressed here are really the best. Go slow and be very turned on. The butt plug idea is also excellent. I have to toss in a work of caution. I believe you can work up to anal but don't force it. Don't just bare with the pain. It's a bad thing if you tear up that area. Think about what generally come out of the area, then think about it getting into a wound. Not a good idea. I had troubles when We first attempted it, however with a little bit of care and time you can do it. Remember to RELAX. The more you worry about it, the more likely you are to get hurt. I always have to really just let go and not tense up.

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RE: Anally speaking... *and beggin and cryin and and* - 12/15/2004 9:03:11 AM

MistressFire70

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From: North Carolina
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And don't forget there's "training" that you can do with butt plugs and such. While it's a myth that these items "stretch" your anus, what they will do is get you used to the sensation. Then, do all the lube/foreplay stuff. Don't discount that part because it really is important and needed in most cases.

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RE: Anally speaking... *and beggin and cryin and and* - 12/15/2004 1:26:13 PM

wetrope

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Iv had problems with my sub on this subject, she wants to please but almost totally backs away from anal contact of any sort. We do positions and examinations when we start, and even this is tough for her, if she had her way she would rather play on the highway starkers before me touching her. So I totally back away from it, but she pays for it in other ways, maybe she stays in my fav position a little longer, maybe she receives a harder blow and another mark with my rubber tail. I dont regret spreading the joy, but I think it is a bit of a trust issue for her.

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RE: Anally speaking... *and beggin and cryin and and* - 12/16/2004 9:03:11 AM

MistressFire70

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And, as you know, trust can only come over time. Perhaps she had some traumatic experience? Or perhaps she just has a major squick factor about it? Gently, try to find out exactly what she doesn't like about it and then work from there. she may not ever get past it, but then again, she might.

Fire

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RE: Anally speaking... *and beggin and cryin and and* - 12/17/2004 5:10:42 AM

conflicted

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Yes, it hurts :) but after a few times it does become enjoyable.
W/we have found that by me standing bent over with legs parted and exhaling deeply as He slowly and gradually works His way in seems to minimise the discomfort a bit. Exhaling each time He goes in a bit further i mean. Great advice in the other posts, lots of lube and try and get into a relaxed state before trying again.

i realise what works for one, mightnt work for others, but i thought i would suggest it anyway :)

*apologies if my posting in this forum upsets Anyone*

n

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RE: Anally speaking... *and beggin and cryin and and* - 12/17/2004 12:44:58 PM

wetrope

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Thks for advice, had a little talk and found out she had a traumatic experience, first b/f, when she was only 18, forced himself in, got stuck and couldnt get out!!!
Sorry couldnt resist, smok'n humour!! (well black is not allowed , right)

He essentially raped her, thus the traumatic experience. Poor girl.

So this week knowing all this had a little fun with her, wouldnt u like to know! Slowly patiently making sure she can handle it, and if she cant its ok.

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RE: Anally speaking... *and beggin and cryin and and* - 12/17/2004 3:00:04 PM

hotlips862

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i discussed this with my Master. Here is what he said he would desire from a sub with him.

First, if the sub truly wishes to be able to please the Master then practice practice practice, lube up dildos, butt plugs etc... work with them at your own speed and dept that you are comfortable with. get yourself use to the sensations. They will be somewhat different but you will be able to learn what to expect. Then explain with respect to your master that in a desire to please him completely you have practiced anally and would be pleased if he would desire to work with you more to be able to please him that way. That if perhaps now you took it slowly you may be able to handle him annaly. If he is a good master he will be pleased that you took the effort to work at something simply to bring him more pleasure. i know my Master would be very pleased with any sub that did so.

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RE: Anally speaking... *and beggin and cryin and and* - 12/17/2004 4:36:03 PM

MC2044

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Respectfully request to speak to your Master on this subject. If he agrees, tell him just what you said. Tell him what Estrict and Kwix told you. Then leave it up to him how to proceed.

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