what to ask (Full Version)

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kahgii -> what to ask (8/3/2006 9:07:24 AM)

I am currently chatting with a Domme who will be coming to my area at the end of the month. I have never met up with anyone from the internet before and do not have other friends that I could talk with and/or arrange 'check in calls' for safety. Does anyone have other advice re: questions to ask her or things to do to ensure my safety? I believe that she could be my wildest fantasy come true or my biggest nightmare. Thank you in advance.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: what to ask (8/3/2006 9:20:08 AM)

Are you planning on playing with her?  Or just having a social visit?

Generally I say just meet at a public restaurant for dinner and let someone know when to expect you home.



Tikkiee -> RE: what to ask (8/3/2006 9:43:05 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kahgii

I am currently chatting with a Domme who will be coming to my area at the end of the month. I have never met up with anyone from the internet before and do not have other friends that I could talk with and/or arrange 'check in calls' for safety. Does anyone have other advice re: questions to ask her or things to do to ensure my safety? I believe that she could be my wildest fantasy come true or my biggest nightmare. Thank you in advance.

I have to agree with what LuckyAlbatross said. If this is your first meeting with her, then I would keep it casual. A public place; let someone know where you are going, and when to expect you home.
If you plan to play on this first meet, then by all means, more stringent safety measures should be in place ( however, I want to stress that I am an advocate of NOT playing on a first meet, unless it is in a public dungeon, club, etc ).
 



JessieMe -> RE: what to ask (8/3/2006 10:31:01 AM)

Make sure you get her real name and where she will be staying. I know you say you dont have friends but surely there is someone who you can call <kids, acquaintances> just to make it look like you are doing a safe call if need be. LOL

Usually when I set up safe calls it is not me calling out but others calling in at weird intervals. The understanding being that I must pick up the phone each time it rings in. In this respect your potential is not controlling your safety at that first meeting.

One other option is to perhaps join an email list group that is local / regional / semi regional and explain the situation there.. I am sure someone will step up to the plate to be your safe call and keeper of information. Just make sure someone knows where you are and who you are with.

Good luck to you and have fun at your meeting :)



raiken -> RE: what to ask (8/3/2006 10:36:11 AM)

In addition to the advice given, i would suggest you find out from her what she expects to have happen on your first meeting as well.  Putting it in her ball park, and hearing what she may desire, may offer you some extra insight as to how to plan and prepare for the initial meeting and/or activity.
 
~raiken



Evanesce -> RE: what to ask (8/3/2006 11:14:07 AM)

Do go to dinner or somewhere else very public.
Do have a good time.
Do engage in interesting conversation.
Do pay attention to her responses to you and watch for red flags.
 
Do not go to her hotel room, no matter how charming she might be.
Do not allow yourself to become inebriated.
Do not leave your beverage unattended (this means kill it off before you go to the restroom and order a fresh one when you return).
Do not put yourself into any situation where you are alone with her and helpless.
 
That should keep you safe enough that you don't need "safe calls."



Devilslilsister -> RE: what to ask (8/3/2006 11:55:12 AM)

ask her if she's a nab.



Tamerofwild1s -> RE: what to ask (8/3/2006 12:39:03 PM)

I have always insisted anyone comeing to meet me have calls to someone instituted and let them know where the meeting is taking place and what time it is to begin .... if no one is available to call you make sure she understands upfront you won't play with her on the first meet no matter how good it seems to be .. and STICK TO IT .. relax and enjoy theconversation . learn of each other deeply . ask things about her past experiences see if she has had lot of different girls in the past ... much like a person applying for work if you have had alot of jobs in a short amount of time . there may be something wrong with the way they work .. if that makes sense
and follow the great advice you have been given by the others in this thread . it all seems good advice



Mavis -> RE: what to ask (8/4/2006 2:59:59 AM)

You don't need lifestyle friends to set up a safe call, just let someoen know you'll be meeting for lunch with a friend from online.  That's so common nowdays, nobody needs to know you didn't meet in an automotive care discussion group, or a travel interests thingie about greek cooking.. 

Anyway,  if you do set up a safecall, remember to have good codes.  "I'm having a blast" can mean things not good, "We're having a great visit" can mean good.  Failure to answer your cell should get a call to the police. 

Also, remember to secure your vehicle.  While you're busy visiting, address is on the car registration, a two hour dinner is plenty of time for a house-lift.  <g>

IF you do decide to play, and that's going to cause any number of comments here.. do this :

BOTH of you, put the address of your location on a sticky note, on EACH cell phone, and the hotel phone.   Can you imagine dialing 911, and NOt knowing exactly what the address is?  



kahgii -> RE: what to ask (8/4/2006 5:36:58 AM)

[:)] Thank you so much, I really appreciate all of your advice. I do not yet know how long she will be in town and/or passing through, however, with your collective wisdom, I feel pretty confident in being able to set up a safe meeting.

kahgiina



MissDeb -> RE: what to ask (8/6/2006 8:43:45 AM)

One more little item.  If possible, even at a public meeting ... the first time bring someone whom you trust with you.  They do not necessarily need to sit in on the details.  But, they are there in case you might need help, or if you should need an excuse to leave.  *smiles ...



LokisBrat -> RE: what to ask (8/6/2006 8:59:28 AM)

I am totally against "playing" on the first meet.  You have to remember this is not a vanilla fling, or pick up.  More than likely restraints will be used. If the meeting goes well and a good connection is made, they will be back.  Take your time, don't rush into this.


LOKI



popeye1250 -> RE: what to ask (8/6/2006 12:34:01 PM)

And get a copy of her driver's lisense.



Noah -> RE: what to ask (8/6/2006 10:13:01 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: kahgii

I am currently chatting with a Domme who will be coming to my area at the end of the month. I have never met up with anyone from the internet before and do not have other friends that I could talk with and/or arrange 'check in calls' for safety. Does anyone have other advice re: questions to ask her or things to do to ensure my safety? I believe that she could be my wildest fantasy come true or my biggest nightmare. Thank you in advance.


I've read all the advice to this point. I'd like to offer something more pointed.

Anyone you can't meet for dinner without getting a copy of her driver's license and worrying that she will spike your drink (and all that other secret agent mumbo-jumbo) is someone you should not meet with at all; certainly not now and probably not ever.



Padriag -> RE: what to ask (8/7/2006 6:31:15 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah


quote:

ORIGINAL: kahgii

I am currently chatting with a Domme who will be coming to my area at the end of the month. I have never met up with anyone from the internet before and do not have other friends that I could talk with and/or arrange 'check in calls' for safety. Does anyone have other advice re: questions to ask her or things to do to ensure my safety? I believe that she could be my wildest fantasy come true or my biggest nightmare. Thank you in advance.


I've read all the advice to this point. I'd like to offer something more pointed.

Anyone you can't meet for dinner without getting a copy of her driver's license and worrying that she will spike your drink (and all that other secret agent mumbo-jumbo) is someone you should not meet with at all; certainly not now and probably not ever.

I very much second that.

The statement that "she could be your wildest fantasy or worst nightmare" was something I found curious.  If you're just meeting for dinner, she won't be either, she'll be someone you meet for dinner or coffee and get to know a bit better.  If you're meeting for play on the very first meeting, that breaks one of my own rules so the only advice I can give is that you figure out whether she's your wildest fantasy or worst nightmare before you meet to play.



LaTigresse -> RE: what to ask (8/7/2006 9:26:23 AM)

I would not bother meeting someone I felt might be my biggest nightmare!



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