ShadeDiva
Posts: 1005
Joined: 3/31/2004
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline
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Donn.
We fat people *know* it's a health issue. Really. Honest. I mean come on - do you *really* think with Atkins this and no carb that and everything else we've seen the past couple of decades thrown at us that we don't realize it's not healthy?
That isn't the point.
The point is this thread wasn't about what the domlet or what anyone else preferred their partner to LOOK like - the thread was hijacked to shoot people down that didn't NEED nor deserve to be shot down and who weren't looking to get verbally kicked in the face.
Had this thread been about "do you like BBWs or do you like 'em thin" - that would be a whole other story - it would have been at least on topic, but nonetheless still a neanderthral's attempt at being insulting.
I can tell you that as a fat person - and no, I'm not fluffy, or plump, or chubby, I'm plain ol' fat thank you very much - we get the lectures and the looks and the societal bs that is NOT doing a blasted thing to help someone in that situation every single day.
I remember when I was 40 pounds overweight, and out walking for exercise - I'd get piggy and cow sounds made at me from passing cars - and there I was, exercising trying to *change* it. I wasn't stuffing my face full of crap and sitting on my ass - and yanno it doesn't matter *what* you do anymore, if you are fat you're a target - period, plain and simple.
The point is we get it everyday from all angles. We don't need to be reminded when we are seeking ways to do things we like to do to remain active and happy while dealing with whatever got us to that point.
There is NO excuse for jumping into a thread where overweight people are reaching out and seeking support and help from others and just throwing up a rude and disrespectful remark. Period. End of story.
I'd suggest that if you wish to preach to "the fatties" - please make a different thread to do that in, this is not the appropriate space for it.
I understand that you probably meant well - but really, we get a bunch of that in real life everywhere we go, we don't need it in every post where we are trying to find ways to enjoy life and experience it, whilst dealing with our own issues.
And yes, I know I'm pretty curt in this reply I'm writing to you - that isn't because I'm annoyed at your effort to preach so much as I refuse to allow you to support the domlet that was hijacking this thread - even if it is unintentional.
I don't care if you like overweight people or if you prefer a skeleton that barely has enough skin stretched over her frame, or whatever. Thats your right - just as it is our right as overweight people to try to learn from each other and get support in our lives and to be happy as we can be - without the condescending and patronizing peaching that people seem to feel perfectly free to spew out at overweight people - like we are too stupid to know the facts ourselves without having a bunch of total strangers that know absolutely nothing about why we are as we are, what physical disablities, handicaps, medical reasons, psychological reasons, medicinal reasons, etc. that might be causing that situation.
How would you expect someone to feel about themselves if they gained weight and had NO control over it at all - and their self esteem was beyond non-existant - and they had to face that same patronizing crap from everyoine they were around in public? That everytime they drank something - even if it is WATER(cuz yanno no fat perosn drinks water - it just *has* to be sprite dontchas know *snork*) - they get sneers and disdainful looks and snickers and little wide load comments? Sure there are a lot of folks out there that are fat because they cause it - but you dont know WHO THEY ARE. So your comments that might be meant to be helpful could be incredibly wounding. It's simply not your place to say it unless you know what the circumstances are and know the person. Period. If you feel your *message* is important so much that you can afford to verbally slap someone out of the blue - then believe me, the message ain't all you think it is. Unless of course you are the type of person that feels that everyone needs to be talking about their deeply personal issues with complete strangers that are rude enough to impose their demands for an explanation.
*My* simple request for those that wish to tell overweight people all the stuff that we already are told daily - make a thread of your own that is dedicated to that - don't hijack a thread to shove your agendas and preferences and warnings down our throats. Then we can avoid that negative energy that does nothing to support or enable someone to better themselves and they can all slap each other on the back for being allegedly healthy.
We're adults. We know. We'll live with our choices and decisions. Just there is no reason in the world to actively make it worse, unless you are an asshole that needs a bitchslap or three.
You want to help someone that's overweight? Then the next time you see a fat person in the health club that you work out at - be a smiling friendly NONJUDGMENTAL face and ask if they could use any help in learning the machines or how to get the most effective workout without hurting themselves. Or volunteer to be a personal trainer of you feel SO damn strongly enough about it to preach ... put your energy where your mouth is, and MAKE a difference in someone's life, support them and help them be a better them while building them up - not tearing them down.
If it's important enough to preach about and flap your gums about, then by god, its important enough tfor you to make that effort in your real life to walk your talk, and to stop talking and start helping.
It's real easy to stand around and yap about someone changing their life and circumstances - it's not so easy to be there in the trenches helping them get out of the hole.
Sorry - it's just a peeve of mine. I can't tell you how many dumb jock-types sat there and lectured me about my health only to shut their traps and blush and walk away when I asked if it was so important for them to be sooooo helpful why don't they meet me at the gym once or twice a month and help me do a better workout and share their knowledge.
Walk the talk. And do the talk in an appropriate space, don't hijack a thread just to feed us the same stuff we already hear til we want to puke lol.
I'll shut up now with a last apology - I was deeply affected and fully sabotaged in my younger years by *helpful people* and it took me a LOT of work to get where I am now - and it just raises my hackles to see folks do it to others - so I tend to bristle and get "aggro" about it.
But then what was said really wasn't called for, and I am ever the underdog for someone getting a low blow they didn't earn.
~ShadeDiva
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~ShadeDiva
My projects of love:
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HumanFauna
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