'Being Birthed' Into the Lifestyle--How Was It For You? (Full Version)

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sapphirepleasure -> 'Being Birthed' Into the Lifestyle--How Was It For You? (8/3/2006 7:21:49 PM)

It struck me the other day how coming into this Lifestyle for me has been like being born anew, like a mother in labor or a baby being pushed out of the womb.  The process is not without danger, often painful but ultimately results in a stunningly authentic new life that is enfused with the passion of your dreams.

One thing that I remembered was the time during late labor, called 'transition', before a mother can start actually pushing when she really, really *needs* to push but the time is not right.  To do so prematurely could result in a rupture of the cervix.  I thought of this in relation to my coming into the Lifestyle and how I've had to be patient when all I really wanted to do was be owned and serve a Master.  And at times I've thought for certain I knew exactly what he would be, but, as with giving birth, it's not always what you expect but it's often just what you will love and adore and grow the most from loving and serving.

So do any of you have similar experiences?  Moments of struggle when you were coming into the Lifestyle that were like a birth to you?  (Feel free to develop or depart from the metaphor as it strikes you.)

sp



Homestead -> RE: 'Being Birthed' Into the Lifestyle--How Was It For You? (8/3/2006 7:26:32 PM)

I oozed into the lifestyle like honey through a screen,there was no defining moment.[;)]



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: 'Being Birthed' Into the Lifestyle--How Was It For You? (8/3/2006 7:30:37 PM)

Nope.  I made every sub frenzy newbie mistake in the book.  Went headlong, no stops, no reason, just rushing and sweat and hotness.

Then of course I had to stop and make up all the steps I'd skipped along the way.

Growing pains go with every new journey.



justheather -> RE: 'Being Birthed' Into the Lifestyle--How Was It For You? (8/3/2006 7:37:45 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
Growing pains go with every new journey.


I agree. Coming into one's own true self is a series of labors and birthings. Some hurt more than others. They all require that you pay attention and do the internal work and they all go a lot smoother when you accept that you can not control the process.
And just like in labor, it helps if you can remain open to the moment, relax and breathe.



sapphirepleasure -> RE: 'Being Birthed' Into the Lifestyle--How Was It For You? (8/3/2006 7:38:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

I oozed into the lifestyle like honey through a screen,there was no defining moment.[;)]


What a great image!!!  Just like some births are easier than others perhaps?  I've heard it said that some women seem to just 'pop out' their babies while others of us struggle mightily, but the end result is still a beautiful new life!



LTRsubNW -> RE: 'Being Birthed' Into the Lifestyle--How Was It For You? (8/3/2006 7:39:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

I oozed into the lifestyle like honey through a screen...


Niiiiiiiice :)




sapphirepleasure -> RE: 'Being Birthed' Into the Lifestyle--How Was It For You? (8/3/2006 7:40:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Nope.  I made every sub frenzy newbie mistake in the book.  Went headlong, no stops, no reason, just rushing and sweat and hotness.

Then of course I had to stop and make up all the steps I'd skipped along the way.

Growing pains go with every new journey.


And all of us here on the forums are the better for all of the mistakes/learning experiences you had along the way!  Thanks!



beenwhipped -> RE: 'Being Birthed' Into the Lifestyle--How Was It For You? (8/4/2006 8:24:52 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

I oozed into the lifestyle like honey through a screen,there was no defining moment.[;)]
I ripped through the screen running headlong, luckily i have been fortunate enough to play with people with experience that care for my wellbeing. i am still feeling things out and still make some mistakes, but im learning and i will probably try to stick with those that have helped me along the way thusfar almost unharmed



sub4hire -> RE: 'Being Birthed' Into the Lifestyle--How Was It For You? (8/4/2006 8:33:03 AM)

Nope. I was only born once and it was as an infant.  I merely came to the conclusion I could'nt fight who I was born to be.



raiken -> RE: 'Being Birthed' Into the Lifestyle--How Was It For You? (8/4/2006 9:00:20 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

I oozed into the lifestyle like honey through a screen,there was no defining moment.[;)]

 
Ah yes, perrrrrfect description....
 
~raiken



sapphirepleasure -> RE: 'Being Birthed' Into the Lifestyle--How Was It For You? (8/4/2006 2:06:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: beenwhipped


quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

I oozed into the lifestyle like honey through a screen,there was no defining moment.[;)]
I ripped through the screen running headlong, luckily i have been fortunate enough to play with people with experience that care for my wellbeing. i am still feeling things out and still make some mistakes, but im learning and i will probably try to stick with those that have helped me along the way thusfar almost unharmed



Yeah, I also tend to learn my lessons the 'hard way', but I honestly don't believe in mistakes, only learning experiences, some more painful and others more joyful.  And you're right...as we move along our paths we learn who we can trust and, if we are fortunate, they remain in our lives as treasured friends, guides and playmates.



sapphirepleasure -> RE: 'Being Birthed' Into the Lifestyle--How Was It For You? (8/4/2006 2:08:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

Nope. I was only born once and it was as an infant.  I merely came to the conclusion I could'nt fight who I was born to be.



Yes, but don't you think it's like a butterfly coming out of its chrysalis?... continual transformation into a thing of pure beauty and destiny fulfilled.



beenwhipped -> RE: 'Being Birthed' Into the Lifestyle--How Was It For You? (8/4/2006 4:41:52 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sapphirepleasure

if we are fortunate, they remain in our lives as treasured friends, guides and playmates.
unfortunatly, the wonderful person that introduced me to SM is moving from the area, id consider her a friend with/without the SM. i consider her moving a great loss for me, both in my vanillia life as it relates to her and to my kink. i will truely miss her, but i cannot ask her to remain here when her life will improve to the level it will by her moving



MadelineSerenity -> RE: 'Being Birthed' Into the Lifestyle--How Was It For You? (8/4/2006 5:13:28 PM)

I am actually in the birthing process (into the lifestyle).  And as I read all of these posts above me, I began to wonder exactly what learning experiences/mistakes have these people gone through.  And I don't mean specifically what did they experience.  I'm just wondering maybe I could get some clues on what to expect.  Clearly, I am quite new, so please don't laugh at me because of this request/question.



sapphirepleasure -> RE: 'Being Birthed' Into the Lifestyle--How Was It For You? (8/4/2006 5:25:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: beenwhipped


quote:

ORIGINAL: sapphirepleasure

if we are fortunate, they remain in our lives as treasured friends, guides and playmates.
unfortunatly, the wonderful person that introduced me to SM is moving from the area, id consider her a friend with/without the SM. i consider her moving a great loss for me, both in my vanillia life as it relates to her and to my kink. i will truely miss her, but i cannot ask her to remain here when her life will improve to the level it will by her moving



Well hopefully you can remain connected as I have with my training dom who I left behind in Georgia when I recently relocated to New Mexico.  In the week after I left his home we talked on the phone several times a day as I adjusted from being owned (even in a transitory way) to being 'on the market' and the decisions I was making towards realizing the life of my dreams.



sapphirepleasure -> RE: 'Being Birthed' Into the Lifestyle--How Was It For You? (8/4/2006 5:28:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadelineSerenity

I am actually in the birthing process (into the lifestyle).  And as I read all of these posts above me, I began to wonder exactly what learning experiences/mistakes have these people gone through.  And I don't mean specifically what did they experience.  I'm just wondering maybe I could get some clues on what to expect.  Clearly, I am quite new, so please don't laugh at me because of this request/question.


That's a great question, MadameSerenity, and you are definitely in the right place!  We can certainly expand the thread to consider learning experiences/mistakes encountered along the 'birthing process' or someone could start a fresh thread on that specific topic. 

So what's the consensus? 



beenwhipped -> RE: 'Being Birthed' Into the Lifestyle--How Was It For You? (8/4/2006 5:52:35 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MadelineSerenity

I'm just wondering maybe I could get some clues on what to expect. 
what may be a good idea for you is to seek out groups in your area, attend a few socials. watch listen absorb learn. you dont have to go with the intent of playing

by going to a group and having face to face conversations with people not putting on a mask to see that certain things that are associated with this lifestyle are not for me. (I am sticking to my masochistic tendancies but i do not think that Ds relationship is for me.)

luckily for me there is a wonderful group in my area that was formed with the idea of helping the "birthing process" along. the people there have been wonderful to me and i am glad to be asociated with them




MistressMollie -> RE: 'Being Birthed' Into the Lifestyle--How Was It For You? (8/4/2006 8:25:16 PM)

My birthing was...not easy to say the least.  At first I had many people trying to tell Me what I was.  It was difficult.  I had to do major soul searching, finding things that I at times did not like.  Seeing things that totally went against what all was telling Me.  I even at one time had a Master.  I at the time did not know anybetter, and realized that this Master was not what I needed.  I have found differantly.  I have eased into the real time life of BD/SM, and found that My comfort zone is being a Domme/Mistress.  I have earned My leathers the hard way.  I know what Mine are going through for I have gone through it.  I think for Me it made it harder, when finally realizing that the true Domme in Me was trying to come out and people where holding it back, as if holding back the pushing in labor.   Once it was finally ok to push past it, I did, the birthing from then on was a smooth one, but getting there was one of the most painful things in My life to go through.
Now that it is all said and done, I have nearly forgotton about the labor pains, and now have something beautiful to behold.  I am finally content and comfortable in knowing what and whom I am.    [image]http://www.collarchat.com/upfiles/smiley/cool.gif[/image]



Devilslilsister -> RE: 'Being Birthed' Into the Lifestyle--How Was It For You? (8/4/2006 9:22:53 PM)

i dun remember - ) 

there was no sub fenzy no rush.. no nada of all that.  Just a serious of small, inquiring steps and then tons of back steps and then more small inquiring steps.

But then, i have yet to call it "me"  Or "home" or anything  of the sort.  Still same ol "kelly" who is looking about going hmmmmm wonder what this is about?  Wonder if its interesting.. or for me?

hmmmmmm

still dunno



sapphirepleasure -> RE: 'Being Birthed' Into the Lifestyle--How Was It For You? (8/4/2006 10:31:06 PM)

Mollie,

Welcome to the Forum!  It does sound as if you've paid your dues and walked through the 'fires' of birth into a new life that suits you well.  So glad you've joined us to share the journey.

sp



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