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What would you do? - 8/4/2006 10:04:29 AM   
MZCsDeZire


Posts: 8
Joined: 9/11/2005
Status: offline 		What if you slave/submissive has submitted to everythingyou have ever asked of her. Not to say that it was very easy BUT it was done. Now that the bottom has submitted to everything many times she really has a distaste for some of the things and they really bother your bottom. Would you still contiune to make them doing even though they have already submitted to that action?
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RE: What would you do? - 8/4/2006 10:12:04 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		The ones important to me, yes... but it would not be necessary to continue those things that I found no particular pleasure in, we could talk about it.

  

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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RE: What would you do? - 8/4/2006 10:17:04 AM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline 		If it was an activity I was not also wild about, then I'd cut them some slack.  Some things I do just to push them to do it not because I particularly like it.  So, in those cases, it's done and I have no need to repeat it.

If it is something I really enjoy, those are things I had probably figured out well in advance of getting involved in the relationship because I'd hate to have to push someone continually to partake in a form of play I enjoy immensely. 

Most oher things are probably somewhere in the middle where some slack is given in deference to the slave's preferences.

I am talking about strictly play, though.  If it included daily tasks or responsibilities, no the slave would have to do it regardless.

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

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RE: What would you do? - 8/4/2006 10:25:54 AM   
onestandingstill


Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		Hello All,
I think there's no one answer that could apply to all general situations. For me it would depend on how strong her revulsion is, what's causing her to not want to do it, and how important it is to your happiness  that you have that involved.
I think in my example for instance I hate to scrub floors. When I was living with a Dom I considered it my job to keep them clean anyway. I hated to do it, but I did it any way. That type of dynamic is answered by a big yes, she should do these little things if it makes you happy.
I have big fear factor food issues. If I'd eaten some rancid foul thing in a scene and totally was offended I was ordered to eat it, while the Dom enjoyed it it may not be worth it to do it again. Why would you want to do something that would honestly offend her for some minor fun?

Overall in short it just depends.......
Suzanne

< Message edited by onestandingstill -- 8/4/2006 10:26:55 AM >

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RE: What would you do? - 8/4/2006 10:39:44 AM   
Estring


Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		If I really enjoyed it, I would continue to have her do it for me. Now, if she did the task but vomited the whole time, it probably would no longer be enjoyable for me. 

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Boycott Whales!

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RE: What would you do? - 8/4/2006 11:18:31 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MZCsDeZire
What if you slave/submissive has submitted to everythingyou have ever asked of her. Not to say that it was very easy BUT it was done. Now that the bottom has submitted to everything many times she really has a distaste for some of the things and they really bother your bottom. Would you still contiune to make them doing even though they have already submitted to that action?

For me a relationship with someone isn't based on a laundry list of activities, nor is it some gauntlet to get to the finish point.

But if it's something I want them to do, and they have accepted it, and I do not believe it will cause undue stress, yes I will enjoy it regularly.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: What would you do? - 8/4/2006 12:10:44 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		I would suppose that it would depend on how the relationship was negotiated.

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The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: What would you do? - 8/4/2006 12:37:49 PM   
raiken


Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MZCsDeZire

What if you slave/submissive has submitted to everythingyou have ever asked of her. Not to say that it was very easy BUT it was done. Now that the bottom has submitted to everything many times she really has a distaste for some of the things and they really bother your bottom. Would you still contiune to make them doing even though they have already submitted to that action?

 
i have done things for Masters that i didn't find an enjoyment out of, but it was more about my will to obey and uphold my word to this agreement of obedience in the relationship, and his will to enforce that obedience.  Sometimes a Master will use distatseful things/activities as a means of humbling or reinforcing position, and other times to see what a sub can handle, limits, etc. and sometimes to allow the sub time to experience or open her mind to being freed from a preconditioned mindset, or to retrain certain cognitive behaviors, there are so many answers to this question.  The "Just for Master's pleasure" aspects have already been mentioned *grinz
 
For myself, it comes down to the nature and energy of the particular relationship and the focus and goals of those involved.  Being on the same page in tastes, interests and pleasures helps to greatly reduce this issue somewhat as well. i know that if having to do a certain distasteful activity became toxic for my psyche or spirit, then i would have to ask to talk about it and let the Master know of my difficulty and i would begin by asking for his opinion, thoughts, and help/advice, and if there were no negotiating this certain activity, then together and individually a new agreement or determination needs to be made regarding how important it is to him to continue or discontinue the activity or task.  If it is something he can't do without for the most part, and it has become damaging to me, i must also decide along with the Master, whether i am the right sub for him or if he is the right Master for me. 

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RE: What would you do? - 8/4/2006 4:35:44 PM   
WinterWolf


Posts: 20
Joined: 11/12/2004
Status: offline 		From my experience, I have knowm bottoms who have a hard time doing normal things. Like writing essays, doing research, or calling at a perscribed time.  If these things really bother her, I have to wonder if she is right for me.

I would not ask my sub to do anything that endangers her health, mental welfare, or career, so with that I would expect her to continue doing what I ask.

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RE: What would you do? - 8/4/2006 5:30:27 PM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		The way you word that it would appear that you think that where it comes to something you don't like, submission is doing it ONCE then that is it, you 'should' never have to do it again?

Doesn't quite work like that honeybunch! At least not in My household. My girl submits to My will, wether I am asking her to do something she enjoys, or something she doesn't enjoy, the fact is that it is what I want, what I require of her. What it is, to a great extent is irrelevant, as is how many times that it has or hasn't been done before.

she trusts I wouldn't 'harm' her, that includes anything that would cause too great an emotional strain as well as any physical concerns. she trusts Me to hold to My responcibility of 'duty of care'. But if I tell her to do something she tries her damnedest to comply with My wishes regardless of her likes or dislikes.


_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

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RE: What would you do? - 8/4/2006 8:21:22 PM   
MZCsDeZire


Posts: 8
Joined: 9/11/2005
Status: offline 		Thanks for all the responces LOl I guess I was looking for a different answer. Thanks for the opinions though did give me perspective

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RE: What would you do? - 8/5/2006 2:37:42 AM   
Wolfie648


Posts: 600
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MZCsDeZire

What if you slave/submissive has submitted to everythingyou have ever asked of her. Not to say that it was very easy BUT it was done. Now that the bottom has submitted to everything many times she really has a distaste for some of the things and they really bother your bottom. Would you still contiune to make them doing even though they have already submitted to that action?


To me this is rhetorical. Yeh I ask a slave to do something I expect it done. Is the person a slave or not. Will they do it or not? If they have done it once they will do it again.

I may or may not ask them again to do 'it'. My choice. slave no want? slave go bubye.

Subs are an entirely different matter.

But then I am an extremist.

D (owner of j) 

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Possibly.

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RE: What would you do? - 8/5/2006 4:06:37 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MZCsDeZire

What if you slave/submissive has submitted to everythingyou have ever asked of her. Not to say that it was very easy BUT it was done. Now that the bottom has submitted to everything many times she really has a distaste for some of the things and they really bother your bottom. Would you still contiune to make them doing even though they have already submitted to that action?

Part of my responsibilities as Dom and owner is to also look after my girl's wellbeing....  If something like you've described was affecting her, I'd wanna hear it - assuming I hadn't been observant enough to already suspect.  If I did observe some resistance that amounted to more than cheekiness etc, we'd discuss it....
 
I don't know that I'd continue making her do something distasteful to her because that, to me, is like ignoring a flat tyre on my car and driving it regardless....  This is exactly what *communication* is for - esp between mature adults.  If the particular problematic activity was important to me, we may well end up parting but experience tells me there's usually an amicable compromise to be found.  But that's just me - it may be you who has to consider parting!
 
COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION!
 
Focus.

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RE: What would you do? - 8/7/2006 9:24:11 PM   
CltNcTgirl


Posts: 1
Joined: 4/20/2006
Status: offline 		why would you make her do things that make her msierable


< Message edited by CltNcTgirl -- 8/7/2006 9:25:20 PM >

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RE: What would you do? - 8/7/2006 9:34:47 PM   
Emperor1956


Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

MZCsDeZire said:  Thanks for all the responces LOl I guess I was looking for a different answer. Thanks for the opinions though did give me perspective


What answer were you looking for?

E.

_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

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RE: What would you do? - 8/8/2006 7:56:26 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		I wouldn't make him do things he found *distasteful* because chances are pretty darned good I would find them distasteful as well. We are alot alike in our tastes and communicate openly. However if there was something that I wanted him to do, he would do it, even if he didn't like it, but chances are if he didn't like it neither would I. He doesn't like nipple clamps but he wears them and is even practicing wearing them at night for 15 mins to try and toughen up his nips for me.
I would never force him to do something he totally did not like, to me that is no fun and if its not fun, why do it?

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






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RE: What would you do? - 8/9/2006 9:55:17 AM   
marsman


Posts: 115
Joined: 2/16/2004
Status: offline 		This is one of those cases where a poly relationship has advantages over a monogamous relationship.

A poly Dominant can have different submissives/slaves for different activities. What is "distasteful" to one submissive may often be "craved" by another.

For example, a sadistic Dom might have submissives who are service oriented but not particularly into SM. This Dom, being a sadist, might then play with other masochistic pain sluts who love pain. His service oriented submissives may put up with the SM, but not really like it. His pain sluts on the other hand "crave" SM.

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Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
-- Woody Allen


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RE: What would you do? - 8/9/2006 11:44:51 AM   
bluessss


Posts: 7
Joined: 4/30/2006
Status: offline 		It doesn't matter if YOU like the particular activity or not.  You are there to serve and obey.  If you have communicated your dislike for a certain activity that he thoroughly enjoys but still insists on making it a part of your play it makes for a very strained and not very enjoyable session.  I realize that there are things that are expected of me even though he knows my dislike for them...I do them but not happily.  No matter how many times he has me do something I dislike I will not grow to like it much to his dismay.  Ever wonder why so many subs would like to be Domme for a day with their Master?  Good luck!

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RE: What would you do? - 8/9/2006 7:38:39 PM   
Nalta


Posts: 38
Joined: 6/22/2006
Status: offline 		um.....I probably would. heck, mine hates anal sex but that dosent mean I dont force her to do that. but if it was something dangerous or something she really really hated. I wouldnt. like if every time we did it she bled or something

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RE: What would you do? - 8/9/2006 7:58:30 PM   
mp072004


Posts: 381
Joined: 12/22/2005
Status: offline 		If a person has agreed to do what I want, then I'll continue to ask for what I want, irrespective of whether it bothers the person I ask it of. I don't ask people to do things they dislike for the sake of getting them to do a wider variety of things. Additionally, I rarely find it gratifying to ask a submissive to do something just because he or she dislikes it. If I am asking a person who has agreed to obey me to engage in an act, it really doesn't matter whether the obedient person likes it or hates it, so long as he or she acts.

Monica

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