Please help me (Full Version)

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lilsteve -> Please help me (8/4/2006 12:57:08 PM)

Greetings Mistress'  i need help and some advice please.  I have a Mistress actually a Goddess that i have been dealing with for the past 2 years and i have failed myself and Her time and time again.  I was inconsistent in contacting Her picking and choosing the tasks i wanted to carry out and i was a totally idiot and selfish fool for mistreating such a beautiful Goddess the way i did.  I am so lucky that She still keeps in contact with me and She has not collared me but is a possibility if i straighten up.  I wan tto serve and worship and belong to her i want her to use and abuse me the way She wants She loves humiliation and i have humiliated myself over and over and over for Her and will keep doing so until She is happy.  i inflict humiliation upon myself to make Her smile or amuse Her and She stays around and gives me tasks from itme to time but i want to be owned i want to correct my wrongs i want to impress Her.  Any behavioural suggestions, what can i do show my rededication how can i suffer for her, how can i show that i am a changed piggy. I yearn for this Beautiful Goddess to train and shape and mould me into Her liking i have really messed up in the past and not kept Her o nthe pedestal where She lives.  I want Her to know She is the breathe i breathe the beat of my heart the tears that i cry the smile that i smile how can i show her that i being a pathetic pigg wants to serve and be collared by Her and only Her



mnottertail -> RE: Please help me (8/4/2006 1:02:54 PM)

it is self contained in your post. People tire of amusing playtoys.  It is the mundane usefulness, dogged obedience, total honesty, forthright and vigorous endeavor that is the fabric of life.

Lose the piggy shit, it is gonna get tiring, she will let you know when she wants what.

Be a better man.  You know what to do, groveling is a cop-out.

Ronne
 



MsKatHouston -> RE: Please help me (8/4/2006 1:11:23 PM)

quote:

I was inconsistent in contacting Her picking and choosing the tasks i wanted to carry out and i was a totally idiot and selfish fool for mistreating such a beautiful Goddess the way i did.


Best advice I can give you:  Stop doing that.



Misstoyou -> RE: Please help me (8/4/2006 1:17:42 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lilsteve

... Any behavioural suggestions, what can i do show my rededication how can i suffer for her, how can i show that i am a changed piggy...



The answer is in your profile: "...desire to constantly [emphasis mine] serve and worship..." Consistency in obedience and service is the only thing that proves dedication. Based on your prior history or not, the length of time it will take before she trusts and believes you...who knows?


** Edited to add I like MsKat's "Stop doing that." advice. [:D]



GoddessDustyGold -> RE: Please help me (8/4/2006 1:21:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

it is self contained in your post. People tire of amusing playtoys.  It is the mundane usefulness, dogged obedience, total honesty, forthright and vigorous endeavor that is the fabric of life.

Lose the piggy shit, it is gonna get tiring, she will let you know when she wants what.

Be a better man.  You know what to do, groveling is a cop-out.

Ronne



I just adore our honorary Domme, Ron(ne).
He seems to take the words right out of My mouth.



MistressOfGa -> RE: Please help me (8/4/2006 2:59:56 PM)

lilsteve,
There are an awful lot of "I's" in your post. I want, I need, I would like, I never, I do, I I I I I I come on, simply put, take the I's out of it and put in the "Mistress".
 
I love Ron's answer.



MHOO314 -> RE: Please help me (8/4/2006 3:08:07 PM)

I told you the drama llamas were loose!



thetammyjo -> RE: Please help me (8/5/2006 7:29:58 AM)

I'm really sorry but after two years if someone hasn't been able to control himself enough to serve me properly he's gone. Hell, he's gone after about 2 months of training.

You have to really want to be someone's slave and I'd say based on the OP that you either don't but you want a kinky fantasy or you are really not with the appropriate person for you.

I have no idea here if the OP is talking about 2 years online or off and if there has been any formal training. If its all been online or/and there's been no formal training, I'd say the dominant in question is also ill prepared to own someone. Submissives do not read mind, they need training, guidence and some caring in a consistant fashion to become slaves.



MysticFireTopaz -> RE: Please help me (8/5/2006 10:57:19 AM)

You are indeed fortunate that She has allowed you to remain in Her life this long when you have failed Her time and time again.  After the second or third time with Me, you would have been out the door, and that is assuming that you had a really good excuse for not living up to what you said you would do the first time.
 
Probably the only thing that would impress Her now is turning a new leaf and showing a continued, consistent, pattern of living up to Her expectations and exceeding them when possible.  It might take several months to regain Her trust and confidence, though, since She has seen a pattern of inconsistency for so long.
 
Good luck.
 
Lady Topaz



MisPandora -> RE: Please help me (8/6/2006 12:39:13 PM)

Stop doing things for YOU and your goals (being humiliated) and learn to exist to be pleasing and obedient to her.  It is tiresome when someone consistently does things for his own amusement or who picks and chooses what he does of my instructions.  Suffice it to say, you'd not have lasted two weeks in service to me with that sort of mentality, let alone two years.  Me thinks you're spoiled, selfish and inconsiderate of HER dominance.



LadyAlexa -> RE: Please help me (8/6/2006 2:06:18 PM)

If you wanted to obey her, you would have.  If you wanted to please her, you would have.  Stop being a jerk.  Your whole post is about your needs not about your Mistress.  She probably just keeps you around at times to talk about how stupid you are with her friends.    You want to know what to do? ask Her.



mnottertail -> RE: Please help me (8/6/2006 2:10:29 PM)

What is the sounds of my two hands clapping, if you can't hear it?  I think you got a raw deal and she should fart in your face on demand, because that obviously is what she wants, and you have stated that it is her that you serve.

I am so confused.

Ron(this time me) 



MistressMaamNH -> RE: Please help me (8/6/2006 3:32:30 PM)

quote:

I have a Mistress actually a Goddess that i have been dealing with for the past 2 years and i have failed myself and Her time and time again.


That you have "dealing with" sounds like you are the one trying to train HER.

Which is of more importance, failing yourself, or failing your Goddess?

I agree with the rest of the posts..you really need to sit down and think about what your priorities are. It would appear through your inconsistancies that you just want an occasional fantasy fullfillment, and not genuine, committed service.  The latter takes a great deal of time, energy and work.  Either is fine, just be sure you really know which one you want, and then do what is necessary to achieve that.  But honesty with yourself is the first and foremost thing you will need in either case. Whining about how miserably you've served so far isn't very productive.

MMNH



DiurnalVampire -> RE: Please help me (8/6/2006 3:41:23 PM)

If, after 2 years, you havent been able to show her you are right for er yet... I cant imagine what else you could pull out of your hat to prove it.  The second you chose which assignments of mine you would do and you wouldnt, you would have been dismissed.  It sounds, to me at least, that she doesnt really desire much by way of control, adn you shuld be thanking every star in the sky that she is so incredibly lenient.  Most of the Ladies on this board would have chewed yuo up and spit you out by now.
If you want to know exactly what she needs to consider you for a collar... ASK HER! Stop trying to figure it out yourself, stop asking others what you shuld do to make her happy. 
"Mistress, I know I am not the perfect slave, but what is it that you desire of me so that I can better myself and please you?"
Direct questions get the best answers, and she might even be impressed by the idea that you finaly put aside your won desires and thought to ask what hers were.  I am sure she has realized by now that up until this point, yuo have been self serving.  It is time to stop serving yourself and start serving your Mistress, before she decides to find someone who will.

DV



MySweetSubmssive -> RE: Please help me (8/6/2006 4:04:09 PM)

This is for the OP:  I'm curious, will any of this advice change your behavior? I'm not being rhetorical; I really would like to know.



lilsteve -> RE: Please help me (8/6/2006 10:20:42 PM)

im a fuck up i dont deserve anymore chances and im getting one. Thank You for all of Your feedback and i will take it and use it to do for Her and please Her and me accepting training from Her.  i believe  i have learned over time now to put Her first and live accordingly time will only tell and i will try to do as She says to make Her happy cause my happiness comes from Her contentment



enigmabrat -> RE: Please help me (8/6/2006 10:23:35 PM)

sounds like you have unresolved emotional issues that maybe need to be looked at



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