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MemphisDsCouple -> RE: Bisexuality and women (12/23/2004 10:11:53 AM)
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Like many other posters this is a topic I have given some thought to over the years. I'm not going to offer any definitive answers or even theories, just some observations.
1. I note by observation and research that women are "kissie/huggie" in close relationships with each other in all societies. (I can think of no exception offhand.) Men, by contrast, are back-slappers, punchers, at least a bit rowdy and highly/aggressively competitive in even their closest friendships. It seems clear to me the kissie/huggie tendency is far more conducive to a bi-sexual nature than is the back-slapping/competitive tendency.
subbiejenn said:
quote:
Try to imagine a sub friend you are close too and share secrets with. Someone you get emotional support from and being able also to kiss and hold. i have a close friend who is bi and she says there is nothing like the sweet, tender kiss or soft touch of another female.
2. As subbiejenn so eloquently illustrates, woman may need a very large measure of tenderness. At the same time, the same woman may also need a firm, guiding and controlling dominant male. Definitionally, when one looks at these female cravings - each on an opposite end of the spectrum - one sees conflict. Something is likely to come up short somewhere. A dominant who is soft, tender and cuddly enough to fulfill his submissive's urge to have a soft and tender place in her life is unlikely to (at the same time) have a strong enough hand to control completely and forcefully. Contrariwise, a dominant who is strong and firm enough in the relationship to impart to his submissive a feeling of being protected, guided, controlled and all that resulting in a feeling of peace and security and surrender, is unlikely to exhibit the degree or amount of tenderness and sweetness many women crave by nature. A third person, another woman specifically, can "balance the scales" so to speak in a d/s relationship.
This is one of the reasons I am confident that our relationship, life and love will be (can be) made better, bigger, more full and more whole for both of us if we ever find the right woman to join our life.
3. Throughout the history of humanity, humans have worked closely together in teams. As with any group/team the larger group divides itself into smaller working groups to accomplish specific tasks. This has the advantages of simultaneously accomplishing more than one task for the overall group. And, this structure allows for specialization and enhanced development of individual skills which makes a positive contribution to the good of the larger group.
Often in the history of humanity, these subgroups have been created along gender lines. Initially at least, I am confident this grouping had nothing to with any sort of gender prejudice or exploitation. In the history of our species, our ancestors had no time for such social nonsense. Resources were limited. The world was physically a very dangerous environment. Working groups were organized along gender lines because they were more efficient, and therefore more successful. So, the groups who practiced this were more likely to survive. In these subgroups, men practiced the most aggressive and dangerous tasks. Big game hunting, self defense, war and so on. They developed the skills and the modes of male-to-male personal interaction that facilitated these tasks. Women more often practiced food preparation, gathering, child-rearing and so on. The feminine gender developed and honed skills and personality characteristics that best complimented those tasks.
While males were off hunting and practicing a coordinated attack in which they competed with each other on an individual level within the team attack by trying to be more brave than their fellows, to kill more or larger prey than their fellows or to kill more of the enemy than their fellows, females were simultaneously practicing teamwork in a different situation. Females were practicing tenderness with each other, with their children and with each other's children. Females were doing tasks in which they touched each other often.
All the above does not mean to imply that men are completely void of tendernes or that women are without the internal fire and ability to be a savage and efficient hunter or enemy. We are complex beings. We all have many traits and abilities within us that can come out as the situations we meet require. The above is meant to shed a little light, albeit theoretical light, on how the different tendencies developed within each gender. From there, it may be somewhat easier for us to understand the original question in this thread.
Postscript:
You are welcome to print or save this post for your own use. Please do not copy it to any public or semi-public forum (including email groups/lists) without my express permission. Thanks. All rights reserved. (I write this postscript because after-the-fact someone wrote to me to inform me that they had copied a prior post I wrote to another list. So, I thought I'd better clarify what my preference/policy is regarding use of what I write.)
B. (the male half of MemphisDsCouple)
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