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angelic -> Service (8/5/2006 10:04:50 AM)
i see some (i am referring here to slaves/submissives because they are the ones i relate most to) talking about how they cannot find One to serve, etc. service is something i do every day, all day and i call NoOne Master. Do you only get fulfillment by serving One? i do not, but that is me. Thoughts, comments?

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Service (8/5/2006 10:10:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: angelic i see some (i am referring here to slaves/submissives because they are the ones i relate most to) talking about how they cannot find One to serve, etc. service is something i do every day, all day and i call NoOne Master. Do you only get fulfillment by serving One? i do not, but that is me. Thoughts, comments? Services does not equal submissive. Most great doms and masters out there get HUGE fulfillment out of serving- serving their country, their community, their children, their relationship. Service is an inner drive. We have civil servants, we have volunteers, we have religious servants and more- all of those come from some inner fulfillment gained by service. In some ways, service as a submissive is often the most selfish kind- they keep it to only one person, in only one relationship, with only the one person who takes all the time and energy to training and making them feel loved. There are also many orientations of submissive beyond service. Some are oriented towards obedience, some towards control, some towards pleasure. None of these are better or worse than the other, and many are some combinations of those. I get fulfillment from many sources, but mainly by being true to myself. It is only through that path which any service to others can be meaningful.

angelic -> RE: Service (8/5/2006 10:15:58 AM)
Thank you LA. What you have said has made me stop and think and i agree with you 100%. i guess my 'take' on it is this... i do not have a Master, but that doesn't mean i can't/don't get my 'submissive' feed elsewhere. i do... now getting my arse beat... that's a different thread! [;)]

sharainks -> RE: Service (8/5/2006 10:22:08 AM)
You can get your "submissive feed" from other things. I do it every day. If you like Freud the term is sublimation. Fulfilling a need through an alternate method. It may not be great but it beats no fulfillment.

KarbonCopy -> RE: Service (8/5/2006 10:31:04 AM)
I'm submissive but I'm not a servant. I do not perform service well. Though I like to help sometimes, and be a team player, I'm in no way service orientated.

81song -> RE: Service (8/5/2006 11:31:58 AM)
Good post Yes, for myself I have an inner drive to help others. I have always been that way. Right now we are helping kids down in the New Orelans area. As a sub, well there is a deep well there but once the trust is there then I am open for her and being a servant could be apart of that.

Aneirin -> RE: Service (8/5/2006 12:03:54 PM)
That's where I think I have this confused,I am of a predominantly submissive nature in real life,and I really do thrive on helping people,but,I have dominant desires,these more powerful than my submissive desires,confusion or what.

darkinshadows -> RE: Service (8/5/2006 12:04:54 PM)
Submission and service are different. I serve many - I submit to only one. I agree with what Em said.saves typing Peace and Rapture

LotusSong -> RE: Service (8/5/2006 1:26:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: angelic i see some (i am referring here to slaves/submissives because they are the ones i relate most to) talking about how they cannot find One to serve, etc. service is something i do every day, all day and i call NoOne Master. Do you only get fulfillment by serving One? i do not, but that is me. Thoughts, comments? When someone laments they can't find someone to "serve", it usualy means they can't find someone to serve the way they (said lamenter) sees fit as to their own personal definition of what service is. What needs to happen is that the Dom/Me and sub need to be on the same page. And it takes work to find that mix. There is no magic formula. Most of the times it's just dumb luck.

angelic -> RE: Service (8/5/2006 1:47:24 PM)
Yes i think that's it for me in a nutshell. i serve many... submit to no One... thank you!

MmakeMme -> RE: Service (8/5/2006 2:08:33 PM)
My career is service-oriented. I am a Daisy Scout (soon to be Brownie Scout) troop leader. I volunteer at the animal shelter. Interesting point about there being a connection to being submissive and the things one chooses to do. Never thought about it until now. It will be interesting to see everyone's responses.

Satyr6406 -> RE: Service (8/5/2006 2:18:41 PM)
Albatross, first of all, as a former serviceman and the father of one of ours that's in harms way, thank you for mentioning the vets. ... but, for more than one reason. I find the looks I get, when I speak of "serving", to people in this lifestyle, very un-nerving. I guess the term conjures a certain image. I am proud of my service (which continues, in other ways, to this day). It is the ONLY way that I feel that I can even come close to relating to a submissive's thought process. I give a lot of credit to submissives. They do something I could never do. Okay, aside from all that, I'd like to take the other side of the coin, here: I cannot tell you how many ladies who, in my estimation, do not demonstrate what I consider to be "submissive qualities" respond with: "I'm a submissive but, not a doormat." In my mind, that is a reasonable statement, on the surface but, in this particular instance, it seems to be a rationalization. As a couple of people have stated, here, a submissive doesn't have to do a "Gorean serve" or kneel to every self-proclaimed "dominant", in the room. I find that true submissives enjoy "doing the little things" that many people may not notice. Example: I was standing outside a bar, with a group of people, smoking. I left my cigarettes on the bench. As we were "breaking it up" to go back inside, a young lady who had been paying me some attention, grabbed my cell phone and cigarettes and said: "I'll carry these for you." Most wouldn't have recognized that "small" gesture. I did and, immediately, I found a reason to strike up a more in-depth conversation and she explained that she *HAD* to do little things like that to make herself feel "normal" (her word). I cannot pretend to fully relate but, I certainly can empathize. Michael

angelic -> RE: Service (8/5/2006 2:44:52 PM)
~smiles~... it is the little things (in my own opinion) that matters most... from serving at a soup kitchen to holding the door for someone or offering to help some one unload their groceries, etc. Having said this, i would love to find One to submit to, but since i haven't yet, i find other ways to serve... it is just who i am... and truth to tell i may never again find One to submit to... if all i can do is what i can do... i am happy with that. [:)]

BillsGalSusan -> RE: Service (8/5/2006 2:50:19 PM)
My take is (mebbe as usual) a bit different. I do a whole lot of very ordinary things, and almost without exception, those things are done with a process going on in my mind that I think of as being "in relation to" Bill's needs, wants, or preferences. I'm not saying that when I go for a manicure, it is in any way some sort of example of submissiveness or a craving to serve, but when I choose baking potatoes (nope, don't eat them myself) in the market, I judge them not just to see that they are free of sprouts and blemishes, but also in terms of the size he prefers and their potential to be aesthetically pleasing on his plate. Simple acts--making a bed, doing the laundry, preparing a meal--have meaning beyond their intrinsic value as components of a pleasant, well run home. They have added value as part of the dance between the two of us. Does this mean that I go about experiencing great joy when I am emptying the litter boxes? Nope. I also don't get wet and tingly when I fold Bill's socks. That being said, even after a whole lot of time has passed, a great many things that are oh so ordinary have extra meaning and importance in my life because they are done "in relation to" my dominant partner. I do quite a bit of volunteer work, and it is an entirely different kind of service. I do it because I believe I have a responsibility to use my talents to help other people when I can. I do it because I like the feeling I get when I know I have made a difference in someone else's life. It makes me feel good, but I don't see it as a reflection of my submissiveness. It is a reflection of my membership in the human race. Another Susan

popeye1250 -> RE: Service (8/5/2006 3:11:20 PM)
Satyr6406, from another veteran thankyou for your and your son's service to our country! Dominants also like to get into community service work as well. I belong to a number of veteran's orgs and also the Ancient Order of Hibernians and we do things like working in soup kitchens and raising a lot of money for food banks, disadvantaged kids etc. I've been very fortunate in life to be able to do these kinds of things to "give back" to the community.

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