holding out on masturbation

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slaverooney -> holding out on masturbation (8/6/2006 3:22:18 AM)
i am a new slave and am finding it hard to obey my Mistress as regards to masturbation, she sent me home today because i masturbated with out her permission she was not pleased. Please could you explain the prosses of Mistress taking control of the pleasure. Thanks rooney

mstrjx -> RE: holding out on masturbation (8/6/2006 3:38:28 AM)
The quick answer, of course, is that she tells you not to, and you don't. Simple, yes? But, to answer more fully. Your 'relationship' with your Mistress is based around her desire to control you, and your desire to be controlled by her. So, if she tells you not to, and your devotion and your respect for her desires are sufficient, you won't. You don't because you wish to please her. If you do, then a) you don't respect her, b) you don't wish to please her, c) your needs are more important than hers, d) you're not compatible, e) all of the above The process is simple. To what degree is her pleasure (controlling you) important to you? Jeff

MsReginasslave -> RE: holding out on masturbation (8/6/2006 3:44:41 AM)
slave rooney, What is the first name you have now? slave! As a slave, you have given up all rights to any decisions concerning your own pleasure. Not only your pleasure, but, in time, all decisions concerning your actions as your Owner, and that is what your Mistress is now, if you are a slave, takes control. If you are not giving this up, if you can't see that that is how it MUST be, then you are not ready for slavery but are probably just exploring your submissiveness. It is not up to me to judge. Slavery is a life of pain, service and denial. It is by submitting to this, of our own free will, that the gift we offer our Owners is so precious. Why don't you offer to Her to enter forced chastity, purchase the chastity belt She wants you locked up in, and show your willingness to submit to this discipline? john an owned male slave

Mavis -> RE: holding out on masturbation (8/6/2006 2:34:10 PM)
Jeff, Thank You. Very well put, simple enuf to remember when the times get rough :)

DiurnalVampire -> RE: holding out on masturbation (8/6/2006 2:39:18 PM)
I know my boy had given me control over his masturbation very early no as a show of his devotion. It is one of the hardest thngs to give up, however it also proves your devotion better than just about any other sacrifice you can make. The easiest way to deal with this, if you do truly wish to serve her and want to keep your place with her, is to carry a picture of her with you at all times. If you feel the need to masturbate, take out the picture, look at her and remember why it is you are not allowed to. If seeing her picture and remembering (or writing it on the back so you can read it) why you arent supposed to be doing it is not enough inspiration for you, perhaps you dont have a strong enough desire to serve her wishes. That might mean either you really need to lok into enforced chastity, or you are not compatible and need to find somenoe else who you have the need to obey. DV

Fawne -> RE: holding out on masturbation (8/6/2006 2:59:53 PM)
Hi, Another viewpoint, if you will? I am a female submissive. In my first D/s relationship (a scant 3 years ago) my master forbid me to masturbate and also not to orgasm without permission during sex with him. I agreed to his control and refrained. He had some experience, more fantasy and he thought it would expand my capabilities and desire. It totally back fired. Why? I already have a high sex drive, am easily multi orgasmic, enjoy many types of pain and pleasure. It backfired to the degree that it became difficult for me to orgasm at all. My body learned to resist it. That was not his intent. So, he let up, allowed me to masturbate. I did always have to ask permission to come during sex with him though, and it was not always granted. But, he made sure I was sexually happy (exhausted) in the end. Another man, master ordered me to masturbate- very, very frequently and in very creative ways, every single 'place' too! No details, please. He was happy and proud he could make me come over and over and over in person and beg for more until I pleaded mercy! Then he'd make me come again! He upped my already high capicity for sex and developed a extrasuperhornyslut for himself to enjoy. Now, that's thinkin'! - But, this thread and topic may most pertain to male submissives anyway. JMHO and experience. Thanks, fawne - "sex" is/was not the whole of the dynamic, of course.

cheshireboy -> RE: holding out on masturbation (8/6/2006 4:35:59 PM)
men enjoy climaxing and always have a high sex drive, <now i know that not all will agree with some of this, but its just my strange way of thinking> and for decades or not longer have objectified women and used them for stroke material. so in a way, mastabation can be seen as a way where at least subconsiously you are objectifying a woman. Hense why your Mistress <or any other title you two have> wants you to stop, so that there isn't that level of enabling. Plus as you learn not to masterbate, you can use that energy to be more submissive towards here...for one of the greatest strengths a male submissive can have is the focus of sexual energy into non sexual acts of service.... cheshire.

enigmabrat -> RE: holding out on masturbation (8/6/2006 5:00:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsReginasslave slave rooney, What is the first name you have now? slave! As a slave, you have given up all rights to any decisions concerning your own pleasure. Not only your pleasure, but, in time, all decisions concerning your actions as your Owner, and that is what your Mistress is now, if you are a slave, takes control. If you are not giving this up, if you can't see that that is how it MUST be, then you are not ready for slavery but are probably just exploring your submissiveness. It is not up to me to judge. Slavery is a life of pain, service and denial. It is by submitting to this, of our own free will, that the gift we offer our Owners is so precious. Why don't you offer to Her to enter forced chastity, purchase the chastity belt She wants you locked up in, and show your willingness to submit to this discipline? john an owned male slave Dont mean to be a PITA but a chastaty devise can have bad heath side effects for men when it comes down to it they can suffer some sexual side effects

Fawne -> RE: holding out on masturbation (8/6/2006 6:31:56 PM)
I think this is an interesting subject, no? Q. Do you - all/any feel there is a different standard, thought, process on the subject of masturbation and sex in diff. dynamics - female top/ male bottom - male top/ female bottom - all orientations please your thoughts are valued. I hope this is discussed. Thank you all.

popeye1250 -> RE: holding out on masturbation (8/6/2006 6:41:01 PM)
Fawn, yes, there could be a different standard involved. I like to use orgasm denial too but not to the extent of your first Master. I use it to tease. Perhaps slaverooney's Mistress could tie him securely to the bed and arouse him to right before the point of orgasm a few times and then say "Nighty Night" and get to him the next morning.

mstrjx -> RE: holding out on masturbation (8/6/2006 7:10:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mavis Jeff, Thank You. Very well put, simple enuf to remember when the times get rough :) ::tips hat to Mavis:: It really epitomizes any M/s relationship. Service, obedience, selflessness rather than selfishness. How hard is that? Jeff

Fawne -> RE: holding out on masturbation (8/6/2006 7:32:40 PM)
Respectfully mstrjx: Some M/s relationships include a lot of sex. Service, obedience, selflessness are not contrary to abundant sexual activity, per my relationships. This is not to say that sex is service as in a "gift". Service etc. can be anything useful, that enhances a M's life, as she/he sees fit and of course goes beyond sexual activity. I do realize many do not mix sex with BDSM. (hell, so I am picked by horny guys?) [sm=lol.gif] Laughing - maybe Doms choose to stay "up", while Dommes may choose her boys to stay "down" ? <ducking> with sincere regard, fawne

popeye1250 -> RE: holding out on masturbation (8/6/2006 8:04:36 PM)
I do mix sex with B&D. And lots of it.

mstrjx -> RE: holding out on masturbation (8/6/2006 8:58:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Fawne Respectfully mstrjx: Some M/s relationships include a lot of sex. with sincere regard, fawne Fawne, Respectfully back to you, I think you are missing the point. The OP is being told not to do something. The 'something' could be anything. Don't stick your finger in the light socket. Don't wear clothes to bed. Don't wear clothes to work. Strictly speaking, in a M/s relationship, I break it down this way. To the slave, are your 'needs' being met; is the person you are serving taking care of what you need? (Sorry, sex is not a need.) If the answer is yes, then the slave does not need to concern him/herself with their own needs and desires. The Master/Mistress is accepting the responsibility for both of them. Therefore, since the slave requires no measure of selfishness (because their needs are being met), all of their time can be best spent in 'service' (however you wish to define that) and obedience. It is one of the slave's 'jobs' to be selfless. If your needs are being met, stop worrying about you. Sex, lasagna, masturbation, mode of dress; all concerns and choices are those of the Master/Mistress to make. You obey, or you get released (or quit) so you can find another Master/Mistress who will let you get away with being selfish. What's the value of that? Jeff

popeye1250 -> RE: holding out on masturbation (8/6/2006 9:20:04 PM)
What would happen if a male sub or a female sub were not allowed to cum for like two or three weeks? Would they like, explode or something?

fullofgrace -> RE: holding out on masturbation (8/6/2006 10:23:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: popeye1250 What would happen if a male sub or a female sub were not allowed to cum for like two or three weeks? Would they like, explode or something? nope. i've gone a month without masturbating and without having orgasms during sex with Him. i'm still in pretty good health. :P

Cloudz -> RE: holding out on masturbation (8/7/2006 4:26:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: popeye1250 What would happen if a male sub or a female sub were not allowed to cum for like two or three weeks? Would they like, explode or something? Yes, I believe mine would <grin>

twicehappy -> RE: holding out on masturbation (8/7/2006 5:56:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Fawne Q. Do you - all/any feel there is a different standard, thought, process on the subject of masturbation and sex in diff. dynamics - female top/ male bottom - male top/ female bottom - all orientations please your thoughts are valued. Absolutely! We have even ran a thread on the subject. Being allowed to come seems to cause most males subs to loose their desire to provide service while orgasm had very little affect on the females desire to provide service. Neither of my owners objects to me masturbating ever; but then again they know i spent years being trained only to come when allowed. It is so ingrained in me that without permission either extended or at least implied i simply cannot get off. Lol, this actually caused a few problems for the first few weeks i was in their collar, Master did not grasp i simply could not come without his permission, but we've worked it out since then. There are times i know it is ok or what he wants even if he does not vocalize his intent. And yes BAD MAN, there are times i cannot contol it under your hands no matter how hard i try.

nstyslave -> RE: holding out on masturbation (8/7/2006 6:30:44 AM)
Popeye, i have to say it, perhaps not "explode," but possibly implode? (laughing hard). But seriously pertaining to the OP, if/when that control is given, this is a non issue..it's up to Him/Her, not the slave. ~nsty

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