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How much experience wanted? - 12/16/2004 12:15:19 PM

strongminded

Posts: 7
Joined: 8/29/2004
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Well, I have to hurry and write this before I get too embarrassed, so please excuse any typos.

After reading many posts, I have come to the conclusion that most DOMS assume submissives entering a relationship have atleast moderate varied sexual experience, i.e. having tried various positions. Well, my problem is that I have been--limited?--in my experiences. Very limited. My first question is: Should I gain more experience with others prior to meeting my someone special? I ask this because, (and this is the most embarassing), I have not had sex in a very, very long time and will probably need certain parts of me--shall we say...untightened--- before I will be able to participate in vigorous activities. I do not want to disappoint once a connection to someone special has been made. So, my second question is: would a DOM prefer to "broaden my horizons" and "reintroduce my body" himself, or prefer I be more experienced? Thanks for reading. Your help is appreciated. respectfully submitted, debbie.

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RE: How much experience wanted? - 12/16/2004 12:28:48 PM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
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Hi There Debbie,
I'm not a man nor a dom however I can lend my experience from hanging out with men for a lifetime now. Most men happen to like the fact women are tight. From my knowledge most even like the fact you have little to no experience.
I'm sure you will even have some bites from trolls who read your post here.
I would'nt worry. You are no different than a lot of women.

(in reply to strongminded)

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RE: How much experience wanted? - 12/16/2004 12:31:55 PM

esclava

Posts: 42
Joined: 5/1/2004
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I agree with sub4hire... men like to think they are "breaking new ground" lol

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RE: How much experience wanted? - 12/16/2004 12:34:28 PM

happypervert

Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline

As a guy, I'll just chime in and say Gloria read my mind . . . except I won't troll ya.

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"Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live." . . . Mark Twain

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RE: How much experience wanted? - 12/16/2004 12:43:14 PM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

debbie,
I don't know why, but I found your post, very cute in it's innocence and your concern about how your lack of experience would be accepted by a potential Dom you will meet. Don't worry! (I'm sure that solves your concerns!) lol

beth was a 'lifestyle virgin' when we met. Not speaking for all Doms, but I am one of those Doms who enjoy and revel in sharing in the new experiences of a newbie sub. To see things through new eyes refreshes my mind's perception. When we went to lifestyle clubs, exhibits, or demonstrations I focused on her reaction to what she was seeing much more then the exhibition. It was, and continues to be a very enjoyable aspect of our relationship. Really - Don't worry! (Getting more convinced?)

You have as much 'experience' as you need. You have the essential element any Dom should want - self assessment and determination that this lifestyle interests you. You're here on CollarMe, seeking not only contact with a Dom, but hopefully also seeking knowledge. Keep learning, keep asking whatever question comes to mind. I'm sure you are hardly a blank canvas. Your experience may only be at the fantasy stage at this point, but again - making fantasy into reality is an experience that any Dom would relish. Really- Really - Don't worry! (Smiling yet?)

As for the physical - there is truth to the old saying about 'riding a bike', you don't have to learn it twice. Have you ever heard of anyone complaining that their partner was too tight? REALLY REALLY REALLY - Don't worry!

Have fun debbie - Remember to enjoy the journey as much as you anticipate enjoying the destination.

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RE: How much experience wanted? - 12/16/2004 12:56:00 PM

CloudThrasher

Posts: 15
Joined: 7/31/2004
From: NW Washington
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I'm going to see if I can articulate this without tripping over my own feet.

Personally, as a prerequisite for a relationship, I feel experience is irrelevant (and highly overrated). I believe the opportunity to be with a woman who wanted to share with me those magical moments of rediscovering her body and sexuality (and, perhaps, discovering new pleasures) would be flattering and something special to cherish. In the end, however, what is more important are the sincerity of her desires and the openness of her heart. Her heart and soul are more precious than her sexual experience.

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"Your pain is the breaking of the shell
that encloses your understanding. Even as
the stone of the fruit must break, that its
heart may stand in the sun, so must
you know pain." -- Khalil Gibran, The Prophet

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RE: How much experience wanted? - 12/16/2004 3:20:12 PM

strongminded

Posts: 7
Joined: 8/29/2004
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Thank you to all who have written. I very much appreciate your candid responses. I still am embarrassed and do not look forward to the day I have to reveal my predicament to "my DOM", but am now hopeful that what all of you have expressed as to what DOMS prefer will be true for me. (except the trolling part, sub4hire--I am careful about who I correspond with, but thanks for the warning). Merc and beth, yes, you made me smile.

big thanks. Nice to hear beth's experience was similar. I had been feeling like an oddity. CloudThrasher, I hope your opinion is shared by any DOMS I may meet. Thank you. respectfully submitted, debbie.

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RE: How much experience wanted? - 12/16/2004 4:49:58 PM

INSIDEYOURMIND

Posts: 483
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My sub came to me with no realtime submissive experience, what she did bring was a great deal of knowledge from reading and talking to other people in the lifestyle. She also brought a true desire to be the best submissive possible.

I agree with Merc in regards to experiencing this lifestyle through a new subs eyes. I cannot describe to you the look on my sub's face when we went to the adult toy store!

If you bring honesty, desire and enthusiasm to your Dom, he will know exactly what to do with it!

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RE: How much experience wanted? - 12/16/2004 5:04:22 PM

Interesdom

Posts: 197
Joined: 5/24/2004
From: England
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Personally, I am sometimes wary of a submissive too proud of her experience. The experience with any other man is not going to be the experience with me - I am more than just a pigeon-hole I might fit in, be it 'man', 'Briton', 'dominant' or anything else.

The only concern your sexual holiday would have with me would be the level of your inherent sexuality. As a highly sexed man (not uncommon among doms, I understand) I would want to be sure that you could keep me pleasured well without it just being a chore to you. Sexual inexperience, in itself, is not a problem and I don't think there's a need for you to deliberately spread yourself around just to get it.

Now, if only you lived in Northampton, England instead of Northampton, Massachusetts...

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RE: How much experience wanted? - 12/17/2004 3:59:52 PM

OrientalMistress

Posts: 34
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline

[image][/image] CONTACT ME, My dear one at [email protected]. I am a 70 yo bi Domme with decades of experience in this lifestyle... I would like to discuss some things with you....if that is your pleasure...

Oriental Mistress...

(in reply to strongminded)

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RE: How much experience wanted? - 12/17/2004 4:21:57 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
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Funny, the profile at debi4uth2 doesn't say anything like 70 yo bi Domme.

quote:

ORIGINAL: OrientalMistress

CONTACT ME, My dear one at [email protected]. I am a 70 yo bi Domme with decades of experience in this lifestyle... I would like to discuss some things with you....if that is your pleasure...

(in reply to OrientalMistress)

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RE: How much experience wanted? - 12/17/2004 6:41:13 PM

strongminded

Posts: 7
Joined: 8/29/2004
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Enlightening, Interesdom.
Regarding your statement: "The only concern your sexual holiday would have with me would be the level of your inherent sexuality", I have to say, I loved your use of "sexual holiday". (chuckle - it is the holiday season--puts a whole new spin on "rockin' around the Chirstmas tree").

As for your statement "As a highly sexed man, not uncommon among doms, I understand, I would want to be sure that you could keep me pleasured well without it just being a chore to you"

(and this is just a question for reference not a proposition

), since you know my issue, if you were a prospective DOM, would you believe me if I said I was extremely sexual? Dates I have had with "vanilla" men in the past thought that if I was not out there like a bunny that I do not like sex.

Very, very much the opposite. I have just been choosy, and have subsequently decided to wait for the man I know who can provide me with what I need and want. It is at times extremely difficult to wait, but something I have been "strongminded" about. After reading the posts, I would now only get more initial 'experience" if my true DOM requested it. So, based on your wondering (?) about my inherent sexuality yourself, how would I reassure a potential DOM with whom I was corresponding?

And by the way, I hope your statement: "As a highly sexed man, not uncommon among doms, I understand" is true when I meet mine.