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Meeting a Domme. - 8/6/2006 3:21:13 PM

aslavetolove

Posts: 5
Joined: 2/11/2006
Status: offline

Recently, I met a Domme for a brief get together while traveling. The meeting went well and we both seemed to enjoy each other's company. This was in a very public vanilla setting. Since then we have continued to talk on the phone and email to get to know one another. We are discussing her coming to visit me for a long weekend and see how we mesh in person both vanilla and kink. The question I have is since we still don't know one another that well (but, we do to a degree), does it make sense to have her stay at my place or would it make more sense for her to stay in a hotel? I guess I'm trying to get some thoughts on a first time meeting so to speak where it is not going to just be a casual vanilla social outing for a few hours. Your thoughts would be most appreciated. Thank You!

Post #: 1

RE: Meeting a Domme. - 8/6/2006 3:24:51 PM

redpetals

Posts: 229
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

thats easy
get the hotel
always
it will #one, take the pressure off..
#two, give you an option of another place to have play
hotels are so sexy.....

_____________________________

Love is a verb.

(in reply to aslavetolove)

Post #: 2

RE: Meeting a Domme. - 8/6/2006 3:26:53 PM

MySweetSubmssive

Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline

Hmmm ... if you had a guest room in your home, that might work. Probably the best person to ask would be the lady in question, and what would make her feel most comfortable.

_____________________________

"Oh, James, you're such a cunning linguist."

--Miss Moneypenny

(in reply to aslavetolove)

Post #: 3

RE: Meeting a Domme. - 8/6/2006 3:27:28 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

I would also saya hotel. First, it gives you a way to get away from one another just incase things arent going quite as planned. Plus, you always have the option NOT to use an extra place if you choose not to. Better to have and not need than need and not have. That was how I did it when I went to meet my boy. I had a hotel, he had the option to stay there with me or not, depending on how well things went with one another.

DV

(in reply to redpetals)

Post #: 4

RE: Meeting a Domme. - 8/6/2006 3:27:29 PM

gooddogbenji

Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline

I would think that a long weekend on the second meet is a tad fast for me, but that's me.

Personally, any guest I do not know well I put in a hotel, for a number of reasons:

Her general comfort, knowing that at the end of the night, she has her own bed, not a rickety sofabed, or even a guest room in a strange house.

You do not know her. She may still be out for robbing you blind or whatever.

If things don't work out as planned, she can take a few days and see the town, no harm, no foul.

You can, at the end of the night, still decide where both of you will sleep. The hotel is a sunk cost, whether you use it or not, but adds a bit of psychological security to the meeting.

Yours,

benji

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Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to aslavetolove)

Post #: 5

RE: Meeting a Domme. - 8/6/2006 3:28:22 PM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

Get her a hotel room or suite for the weekend. Set it up nicely for her with items of comfort and extra-special service. Her favorite flowers, her favorite scent, candles, etc.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to aslavetolove)

Post #: 6

RE: Meeting a Domme. - 8/6/2006 3:33:35 PM

UtopianRanger

Posts: 3251
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: aslavetolove

Recently, I met a Domme for a brief get together while traveling. The meeting went well and we both seemed to enjoy each other's company. This was in a very public vanilla setting. Since then we have continued to talk on the phone and email to get to know one another. We are discussing her coming to visit me for a long weekend and see how we mesh in person both vanilla and kink. The question I have is since we still don't know one another that well (but, we do to a degree), does it make sense to have her stay at my place or would it make more sense for her to stay in a hotel? I guess I'm trying to get some thoughts on a first time meeting so to speak where it is not going to just be a casual vanilla social outing for a few hours. Your thoughts would be most appreciated. Thank You!

I think you need to ask her...... unless you have a ''guest'' cottage on your property like I do lol!

Good luck with her ; }

- R

_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton

(in reply to aslavetolove)

Post #: 7

RE: Meeting a Domme. - 8/6/2006 3:33:55 PM

gooddogbenji

Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora

Get her a hotel room or suite for the weekend. Set it up nicely for her with items of comfort and extra-special service. Her favorite flowers, her favorite scent, candles, etc.

OOOOOOOOH!!! Yer gud!

Yers,

benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to MisPandora)

Post #: 8

RE: Meeting a Domme. - 8/6/2006 6:11:36 PM

MsKatHouston

Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline

I vote hotel also :)

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to gooddogbenji)

Post #: 9

RE: Meeting a Domme. - 8/6/2006 9:37:35 PM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

And the hotel also gives you both the out in the event that things go badly on a second meeting. You're not stuck with her there in your home. This is wise for security reasons as well.....

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to MisPandora)

Post #: 10

RE: Meeting a Domme. - 8/7/2006 2:05:32 AM

Nikolette

Posts: 488
Joined: 10/2/2004
Status: offline

If you want to be a gentleman, you should get her a hotel room... Everyone was so nice to you about this, but I shall be mean and ask, Do you have noodles for brains? I don't even see how there is a question.

_____________________________

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." ---Mahatma Gandhi

(in reply to aslavetolove)

Post #: 11

RE: Meeting a Domme. - 8/7/2006 7:15:53 AM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nikolette

If you want to be a gentleman, you should get her a hotel room... Everyone was so nice to you about this, but I shall be mean and ask, Do you have noodles for brains? I don't even see how there is a question.

I don't necessarily think he's got noodles for brains. The domina should be the first one consulted for HER preference. As for myself, after the first meeting or two, I expect for him to host me. I want to see how he manages his affairs, what sort of host he is, and whether there is anything being hidden from me (although, I've had the best of the best pull the wool over my eyes!)

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to Nikolette)

Post #: 12

RE: Meeting a Domme. - 8/7/2006 9:29:27 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

I would definately want a hotel room for all of the reasons stated.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to MisPandora)

Post #: 13

RE: Meeting a Domme. - 8/7/2006 9:30:40 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

Hotel. Always have a safety net for both of you.

If things go well, your place is available and she can cancel the hotel; if not, she has a place to stay until she heads home.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to aslavetolove)

Post #: 14

RE: Meeting a Domme. - 8/7/2006 5:49:56 PM

TheOriginalBitch

Posts: 35
Joined: 8/7/2006
Status: offline

Be a gentleman slave and get a Hotel

(in reply to aslavetolove)

Post #: 15

RE: Meeting a Domme. - 8/8/2006 6:09:57 AM

MdmSarah

Posts: 32
Joined: 4/30/2006
Status: offline

Definately a hotel. Find one that has a decent restaurant, some amenities she might enjoy like a gym, pool, spa. Arrange to have a continental breakfast delivered in the morning (coffee, pastries, OJ), a cheese and fruit plate waiting for her in the room when she arrives. You need to have the neutral space the first time or two visiting.

One question to ask a hotel is about the noise factor if you're planning on playing there. A plausible reason I cite is that I'm a light sleeper and don't wish to hear those in nearby rooms.

< Message edited by MdmSarah -- 8/8/2006 6:12:16 AM >

(in reply to TheOriginalBitch)

Post #: 16

RE: Meeting a Domme. - 8/8/2006 12:29:02 PM

Nuke718

Posts: 240
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

Ask her what she would prefer. If you aren't going to ask, get the Hotel. Book a nice one, in advance. I am not asking you drop a fortune on a 5 star resort, but go the extra mile and fine a comfortable one with a lot of amenities.

N

(in reply to MdmSarah)

Post #: 17

RE: Meeting a Domme. - 8/8/2006 2:49:43 PM

mp072004

Posts: 381
Joined: 12/22/2005
Status: offline

Determine whether you're willing to offer your home, for starters. I don't think it would be wise, especially if she isn't traveling in a medium that easily allows changes in departure plans. If you are willing to offer your house, figure out what the accomodations would be like (guest house? guest room? sofa?), and describe them to her, with a hotel or two named as well. When you offer her your options for her stay, clearly state whether you are offering to put her up in the hotel or whether she would be responsible for it herself. Don't suggest an arrangement and hope that she won't choose it--suggest only arrangements that you would accept. You should also be braced for the possibility that she won't like any of the options. Should she prefer another method that wouldn't involve you heavily (i.e. she would pay for the hotel, and she likes a different one) that ought to be fine. Even if she isn't familiar with your city, she probably has some idea of the sort of accomodations she prefers when traveling.

Good luck!

Monica

(in reply to aslavetolove)

Post #: 18

RE: Meeting a Domme. - 8/8/2006 6:25:20 PM

jonathan

Posts: 196
Joined: 8/5/2004
Status: offline

This post was made at an interesting time for me, as i was meeting my Goddess for the first time this past weekend and we read this thread together Sunday afternoon. In my hotel room. Whether bottom, sub, or slave, behaving in a gentlemanly fashion is, IMHO, the best way to impress a Domme. If you want Her to be your Lady, then treat Her like one! You would be surprised, with a little research, how many major hoteliers have divisions that cater to those looking for something special. At rates that would surprise you. As for me, if One was willing to travel to me, then i'd be arranging Her flight and car service as well.

_____________________________

jonathan
http://www.slaveregister.com/000-515-587

"But in purple, i am stunning!"
"Before You slip into unconsciousness, i'd like to have another kiss, another flashing chance at bliss, another kiss, another kiss"

(in reply to aslavetolove)

Post #: 19

RE: Meeting a Domme. - 8/9/2006 1:34:27 AM

Calandra

Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline

I agree that a hotel is the way to go... but you might consider something... Getting the hotel might be an opportunity for you to show her exactly how skilled you are at pampering her...

Check in your area and see if there are moderately priced Bed and Breakfasts. They are often very elegant or homey, with a theme... They are designed for comfort and luxury and there are usually small ones that will allow you to tour them first to see if the atmosphere is what you're looking for.

Whether you choose a Hotel, or B&B, you check in first and set things up for her:
* Fresh flowers
* A basket with wine, fruit, crackers, and cheese
* You might find a boutique that allows you to blend essential oils and create a signature fragrance for her. These shops often have unscented shampoo, conditioner, lotion, and bath salts so you can create a whole basket of bath products designed exclusively for her, by you. Psssst! you can never go wrong with sandalwood!
* A CD player with a selection of music from soft and seductive to driving scene music.
* Stop by a fabric store and look on the bargain tables for soft, sheer, dramatically colored and printed fabric. Purchase several pieces in 1 yard lengths to drape over lamps to add atmosphere. You might purchase several pieces in 2 or 3 yard lengths "just because". They work great as a quick wrap for her when she steps out of the shower, or as a tablecloth should you decide to offer her grapes and chocolate...
* CHOCOLATES!!!

Remember to ask her pertinent questions as you get to know her... if she is a recovering alcoholic, substitute sparkling grape juice for wine... If she's diabetic, select snacks that won't blow her blood sugar through the roof...

It really means a lot if you go out of your way to make her visit special...

(in reply to aslavetolove)

Post #: 20

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