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how do you tell a Master that He is not what you are lo... - 8/7/2006 1:24:48 AM   
sweetnsoftinpa


Posts: 19
Joined: 7/22/2006
Status: offline 		i spent the weekend with the Master i had meet on here and moved to the phone He is moving and wanted to spend sometime with me before He moved. the problem is i am a submissive and He kept getting me to want to be a slave. He was pushing for me to submit to Him which i know that i am not ready to do and feel uncomfortable with it all. how do i tell Him that this is not going to worng out for me without pissing Him off?
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RE: how do you tell a Master that He is not what you ar... - 8/7/2006 1:32:25 AM   
shivvy


Posts: 746
Joined: 3/25/2006
From: Ireland, living in Kent, England.
Status: offline 		i think, for wot it's worth, until such time as YOU are prepared to offa yourself to Him, you should see Him as your equal. there are 2 people in a D/s relationship, and you both need to have your needs met. if you just met for the first time, and it is not wot you hoped it would bem then you need to tell Him.. perhaps He feels the same way. but open and honest communication from an early stage is vital. If He don't like you're not happy, perhaps He's not the one for you.. sorry
 
good luck hun,
 
luv,
 
shiv
xx

_____________________________


(¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´
¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•.εΐз¸¸.·*´¯`v´¯`*·.¸¸ـ εΐз ~*luv shivvy*~ ـ εΐз

xxx
Owned and collared by SavageFaerie and Master P

(in reply to sweetnsoftinpa)
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RE: how do you tell a Master that He is not what you ar... - 8/7/2006 1:40:48 AM   
Nikolette


Posts: 488
Joined: 10/2/2004
Status: offline 		Just like that.

Simply explain that you can't be at the level he needs, and thus it won't work out, but you are glad to have met him.

I have a lot of submissives tend to just disappear after what I can only assume is them reaching your conclusion. I don't need them to want me, I know that not every Dom/me is going to suit every sub... All I need is them to just tell me it. Heck, I don't even NEED a reason, but its sorta nice.


edited to add: at the stage in the game you are at... it shouldn't piss him off, and if it does, its not your fault that he would be upset over such a simple thing. Disappointed, yes... Pissed, no.

< Message edited by Nikolette -- 8/7/2006 1:42:44 AM >

_____________________________

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." ---Mahatma Gandhi

(in reply to sweetnsoftinpa)
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RE: how do you tell a Master that He is not what you ar... - 8/7/2006 1:53:01 AM   
sweetnsoftinpa


Posts: 19
Joined: 7/22/2006
Status: offline 		thank you i will tell Him today when W/we talk.

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RE: how do you tell a Master that He is not what you ar... - 8/7/2006 4:16:41 AM   
amaidiamond


Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline 		I would agree with the others and say to be honest with him.

Good Luck

(in reply to sweetnsoftinpa)
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RE: how do you tell a Master that He is not what you ar... - 8/7/2006 11:59:56 AM   
tasha_tart


Posts: 385
Joined: 2/20/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline 		The same way as you'd tell anyone in a vanilla setting that you aren't interested.  Something along the lines of "I'm sorry, but this just isn't working for me."
 
You don't owe him any special explanation; if something isn't right about a potential partner, then it isn't right.  Be polite, be firm, but don't feel that there is some special way to tell him simply because this was a potential M/s relationship.
 
Tasha

_____________________________


"Sex without love is an empty experience. But as empty experiences go, it's one of the better ones."...Woody Allen

(in reply to sweetnsoftinpa)
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RE: how do you tell a Master that He is not what you ar... - 8/7/2006 12:16:41 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		Tell him plain and simply the truth, your a sub you don't want or your not ready to be a slave. He needs to back off and respect boundaries and your wishes. If he gets upset about that he didnt have your best interests at heart anyway.

Good luck,

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to sweetnsoftinpa)
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RE: how do you tell a Master that He is not what you ar... - 8/7/2006 12:53:21 PM   
onestandingstill


Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		In my opinion till you're owned you have a right to make your own choices. I would not consider rejecting this guy for trying to push you into being something your not a bad thing. Realistically he's not being too nice, with your wishes to begin with.
Tell him the truth & how you feel he's already exerting too much pressure on you. The truth may not be pretty, but at least it's not fake and full of side line selfish issues.
Suzanne

(in reply to sweetnsoftinpa)
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RE: how do you tell a Master that He is not what you ar... - 8/7/2006 4:32:43 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		UMMM

NO THANKS!!!!

On of the most important aspects of submissive/slave is being able to protect their boundaries.  So protect yours!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to sweetnsoftinpa)
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RE: how do you tell a Master that He is not what you ar... - 8/7/2006 5:09:08 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		This guy was pushing WAY too fast for just meeting a new sub!
I wouldn't consider Collaring a sub for 6-12 months after we knew each other.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: how do you tell a Master that He is not what you ar... - 8/7/2006 10:11:44 PM   
aleshaDreams


Posts: 184
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		Perhaps tell exactly what your question is asking here, that he is not the one for you.  i can see where you are courteous enough to tell him exactly why there possibly could be some ramifications such as that he will change focus and pressure you (its happened to me) but if your gut is telling you he's not the one, then it seems pretty simple.  Best of luck and hope he is good with rejection........

< Message edited by aleshaDreams -- 8/7/2006 10:12:12 PM >

(in reply to sweetnsoftinpa)
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RE: how do you tell a Master that He is not what you ar... - 8/8/2006 8:51:27 AM   
sweetnsoftinpa


Posts: 19
Joined: 7/22/2006
Status: offline 		that you all i have told Him and now He has told me that i have lied and just wanted a quick fuck if i just wanted quick sex trust me there alot of guys right here where i work to get that from and not have to have someone drive 3 hours to do that. now i have changed my profile some and i am going to stick to my guns i am a sub and i am going to remain a sub. thank you all again

(in reply to aleshaDreams)
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RE: how do you tell a Master that He is not what you ar... - 8/8/2006 9:32:25 AM   
aleshaDreams


Posts: 184
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		so he was not good with rejection, somehow I am not surprised.  I am glad you followed your gut with this, and if anything sweetnsoft you learned something perhaps undesireable of his character and most importantly strength in your will.  Best of wishes and a fabulous day for you i hope.  :)

best wishes, ad.

(in reply to sweetnsoftinpa)
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RE: how do you tell a Master that He is not what you ar... - 8/8/2006 9:41:58 AM   
addisonclarkgirl


Posts: 346
Joined: 7/16/2006
Status: offline 		Congrats for standing up for yourself.  Right now, i'm having a bit of the same problem.  i'm fairly new to CM, and so i'm getting a lot of attention.  i don't want to be pushed into making the wrong decision, but i do want to keep my options open. i want to meet new people and not worry about leading men on.  Truthfully though,  as long as i'm honest and upfront about what i'm doing, what i'm looking for, i have no need to feel guilty, and neither should you, about being pushed into something you do not want.

_____________________________

I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set her free...Michelangelo


http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Princess_of_Naughty_Pics

(in reply to aleshaDreams)
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RE: how do you tell a Master that He is not what you ar... - 8/8/2006 10:24:21 AM   
fyreredsub


Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline 		life and relationships are about risk alot of the time if your not ready your not ready and you owe it to him and yourself to tell him exactly how you feel, just be respectful about(learned this the hard way)

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to sweetnsoftinpa)
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RE: how do you tell a Master that He is not what you ar... - 8/8/2006 10:35:38 AM   
raiken


Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnsoftinpa

i spent the weekend with the Master i had meet on here and moved to the phone He is moving and wanted to spend sometime with me before He moved. the problem is i am a submissive and He kept getting me to want to be a slave. He was pushing for me to submit to Him which i know that i am not ready to do and feel uncomfortable with it all. how do i tell Him that this is not going to worng out for me without pissing Him off?

 
All you have to do here is be real to yourself, and real with him. Respectfully decline, and let him handle it in what ever way suits him.  With each new experience you have, learn the lessons, improve your insight and wisdom both into yourself and others.  Best of journey to you. *smile

(in reply to sweetnsoftinpa)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: how do you tell a Master that He is not what you ar... - 8/8/2006 10:38:31 AM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		Simple. I'm sorry you're not what I am looking for.

(in reply to raiken)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: how do you tell a Master that He is not what you ar... - 8/8/2006 10:56:36 AM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		Tasha. is that tattoo on your back in your profile pics from the book of Kells?

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: how do you tell a Master that He is not what you ar... - 8/8/2006 6:32:05 PM   
comesoncommand


Posts: 78
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline 		sweetnsoft,

i'm sorry that he reacted so strongly, and felt the need to talk to you like that.  Unfortunately, you probably have encountered one (of many) people online who assume the ability to call themselves a dominant automatically makes them one.  Nothing could be farther from the truth!  Good for you for sticking up for yourself, and sticking to who you are and what you want for yourself!  As other subs/slaves on here have already stated simply being a submissive DOES NOT mean that you lay down and do anything that someone that announces themselves as a dominant requests.  The search for the "right One" can certainly be frustrating, but the reward is so amazing and worth it!

(in reply to popeye1250)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: how do you tell a Master that He is not what you ar... - 8/9/2006 5:33:01 AM   
tasha_tart


Posts: 385
Joined: 2/20/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: popeye1250

Tasha. is that tattoo on your back in your profile pics from the book of Kells?


The Celtic dogs on my upper back take their inspiration from the Book of Kells, though I cannot say whether they came whole from it.  I originally found the artwork on the cover of a woodcarving book, and later on a Celtic art website (now defunct.)  The original pic that I found was extensively redrawn by my tattoo artist.
 
Tasha

_____________________________


"Sex without love is an empty experience. But as empty experiences go, it's one of the better ones."...Woody Allen

(in reply to popeye1250)
Profile   Post #: 20
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