But you did not tell me.....

But you did not tell me..... (Full Version)

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littleone35 -> But you did not tell me..... (8/7/2006 11:47:55 AM)
Hi all just a Question. How many subs slaves can answer too but this is mostly for subs. Try to get out of a displine but saying somthing to their Master like "you did not tell me i could not do (insert activity here)." Let me try to explain today Master was doing something and he stopped for a moment to look at the clock he had a meeting to go to so i continued .When he turned back and saw what i was doing he was a little surprised he asked what i was doing i knew i was in trouble ao i tried to get out of it by saying you did not tell me i could not. He said i also did not tell you that you could. Needless to say i did not get out of my displine. Did any others ever try that line? Matt's littleone

onestandingstill -> RE: But you did not tell me..... (8/7/2006 12:00:14 PM)
Yes, I have said those same words knowing I knew he wouldn't have approved had I ask first. To me assuming I'm breaking the rules does not count for knowing for sure I am.

Mavis -> RE: But you did not tell me..... (8/7/2006 12:33:56 PM)
LOL. Had this discussion with Master. i got a mantra. "If you don't know, you don't go." He feels, and i agree as a parent, if you avoided asking, it's because you already knew the answer. you just didn't want to have to hear it, then be accountable for obeying it.

sub4hire -> RE: But you did not tell me..... (8/7/2006 12:49:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littleone35 Hi all just a Question. How many subs slaves can answer too but this is mostly for subs. Try to get out of a displine but saying somthing to their Master like "you did not tell me i could not do (insert activity here)." Did any others ever try that line? Matt's littleone In my experience that only causes more trouble in the long run. Year's ago I tried that....it just isn't the way to go. Experience will teach you that in time.

behindmirrors -> RE: But you did not tell me..... (8/7/2006 12:53:40 PM)
Hehe, I enjoy this question. I have not (yet) tried to get "out of" any punishment my Dominant has given me, but, then again, I'm new at this, and I am sure the time may someday come. My first reaction to this question was the same answer I would use in my life outside of D/s: "Do now, apologize later." Then again, most people, if they were asked to guess just from knowing me by my life outside of our special little D/s sphere would say I was definetly dominant, which I do not associate with at all in any way but my professional life. My job envolves a lot of order-barking, so to speak. I know in my case I often will ask permission for things I have not been told I need to ask permission for (yet), if nothing else so he knows what it is I wish to do. For example, if we are sitting down somewhere, there is no rule defining that I can not get up and move around if my limbs get sore from sitting. I will often ask, though, "May I get up and move around a bit? My legs are sore." before I would do anything. He always gives his permission and I do so. Thus, all I can determine to answer this question is that I will be waiting and seeing. I have not had a severe punishment yet, and I hope to do well and never need one. I can understand your response entirely, though! It's like being a kid and trying to get out of being punished for something your parents did not approve of, but you did because they never explicitly said not to, and that, I must admit, I have done plenty of.

juliaoceania -> RE: But you did not tell me..... (8/7/2006 1:03:04 PM)
Discipline = correction of behavior and if I engaged in a behavior I was told not to do again I would consider this discipline.. even if nothing else happened but being told not to do it again. I do not know what your discipline entails, but I can get assigned essays "just because", with no real action on my part proceding it. It is also discipline in a way, it is designed to correct and change my behavior. I would have to say as far as your question, I cannot envision him harshly disciplining me for doing something that he had not told me not to do. The other day in Home Depot I walked behind him and was told to walk beside him in public ALWAYS. I was disciplined. I wasn't "in trouble" though. I may tell him that I did not realize something, but I expect to have my behavior changed if it is displeasing, therefore I expect to be disciplined for anything I do incorrectly... I hope this makes sense.. I wouldn't attempt to get out of it even if I explained that I didn't know any better... Once we know better we do better.

littleone35 -> RE: But you did not tell me..... (8/7/2006 1:14:22 PM)
Oh julia displine is not harsh it is behavior modification ( i will not do that act again though) punishment is harsh and i only have gotton onr of those in the 6.5 months we have been together iand i know i definiatly deserved the punishment. The thing is he never specifically told me not to do it but i know better. Matt's littleone

justheather -> RE: But you did not tell me..... (8/7/2006 2:48:36 PM)
If something is not expressly forbidden but clearly goes against The Spirit of our dynamic, I'm expected to have the mental clarity and depth of insight to not partake in that something. Let's be honest, we all know when we are rationalizing and doing all sorts of mental jumping-through-hoops to decide that it's "ok" to do something we know "isnt ok". As soon as Im aware that Im engaged in this sort of mental gymnastics, I can pretty much assume that whatever it is Im trying to rationalize is "not ok" whether he's specifically said it's ok or not. I guess the biggest thing that keeps me from consciously using the "you never said I couldn't" rationale is not that I would be disciplined but that I would be certainly disappointing my dom. I'm positive that the psychological punishment I would self-inflict for deliberately acting in a manner he would not approve of would be far worse than whatever disciplinary action he would take. I know myself, and I can say for certain that any momentary enjoyment I may have gotten out of "the thing" I was trying to get away with doing would be lost. This is not to say that I'm perfect, but I have a strong enough desire to not disappoint him and a guilty enough conscience (thank you, catholic school...) that Ive not become accustomed to using this particular "out". I understand that it is the nature of some peoples' relationships that this sort of dynamic is incorporated into their kink. Sort of a playful, light version of the whole brat concept. I'm not dissing it. Im just saying it does not have a place in my relationship.

windchymes -> RE: But you did not tell me..... (8/7/2006 4:14:27 PM)
LOL.....this reminds me of when my son was in kindergarten and got in trouble for cutting another kid's hair with the scissors. His reasoning was "I didn't know it was a rule!"

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: But you did not tell me..... (8/7/2006 4:16:34 PM)
Any of my ex doms and I know I certainly would not be amused by that obvious ploy. If they honestly weren't thinking and it hadn't been something we'd previously discussed, I'd simply correct them. But if they were trying to excuse their way out or feed me a BS line, then we'd be talking serious trouble.

subsa -> RE: But you did not tell me..... (8/7/2006 4:29:05 PM)
i have to ask...why did you try to get out of it? isn't this the reason you're in the sub position in the first place? whether its for the thrill of the punishment or the need for service, direction and discipline, in either case(or both), why did you think you didn't want what your Master had to give? is there another reason why you would choose to be a sub?

babysburnin -> RE: But you did not tell me..... (8/7/2006 4:31:01 PM)
Of course! HE has said ... didn't I tell you... and I say, yes, but... (I find the loophole). I know HE likes that I have the intelligence to find them ... but, that doesn't always excuse me from punishment.

kyraofMists -> RE: But you did not tell me..... (8/7/2006 4:58:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: justheather If something is not expressly forbidden but clearly goes against The Spirit of our dynamic, I'm expected to have the mental clarity and depth of insight to not partake in that something. This explains my thoughts on this very well. To do something like this would be to go against who I am and what our relationship is about. It just would not cross my mind to say something like this to him. Now, when I was in grad school a saying taught to me by my advisor was, "It is better to beg for forgiveness than to ask for permission." We used that philosophy often on some of our field projects. Knight's kyra

justheather -> RE: But you did not tell me..... (8/7/2006 5:03:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kyraofMists Now, when I was in grad school a saying taught to me by my advisor was, "It is better to beg for forgiveness than to ask for permission." We used that philosophy often on some of our field projects. Knight's kyra Oh, kyra, I used to be very well acquainted with that saying. Used to be.

Vancouver_cinful -> RE: But you did not tell me..... (8/7/2006 5:30:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littleone35 Did any others ever try that line? Sure, because I'm human, because I'm not perfect, and sometimes, just because I'm playful. Of course, any time I've tried this ploy, it was with something light, and very unlikely to cause real problems. It was always a situation where I judged it would make my dominant laugh, and not if I suspected he might get disappointed or angry. And I always, always, graciously accepted the consequences of trying it. (Not that I ever expected to get away with it! ::laughing::)

Littlepita -> RE: But you did not tell me..... (8/7/2006 6:18:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subsa i have to ask...why did you try to get out of it? isn't this the reason you're in the sub position in the first place? whether its for the thrill of the punishment or the need for service, direction and discipline, in either case(or both), why did you think you didn't want what your Master had to give? is there another reason why you would choose to be a sub? I don't really get this question. I for one hate punishment and will try very hard not to get that. Of course for us punishment is very serious and has nothing to do with play. I am with my Dom for many reasons other then service, direction and discipline. Those are valid reasons of course. But, I happen to be in love with him and I'm human. Sometimes I do something I "might" know I shouldn't. Yeah I would get in trouble by getting a warning, or maybe I would be punished depending on what I did. I do agree with justheather as well. I do try not to go against what I know he would want. I have worked hard to know my Dom and what his expectations of me are and disappointing him is not something I ever willfully do.

smilezz -> RE: But you did not tell me..... (8/7/2006 6:19:48 PM)
No.........and oh Hell No even. I know i should say something like it would hurt the dynamic of the relationship...which it would......but the honest to goodness reason? Because of 8 little words that make me grit my teeth, spit nails, roll my eyes and realize that if i did, life would not be good for smilezz. Thorns: "Do what you can afford to do girl" <--- 8 most hated words! Arrrgggghhh! i can't even think about it. ~smilezz~

krikket -> RE: But you did not tell me..... (8/7/2006 6:23:14 PM)
i think this comes under the heading of "common sense"..lol. i'm not sure i ever had that much nerve to say this to my ex-Master..woulda gotten me in even more trouble, not to mention that "LOOK" that said how disappointed he was in me...Ugh!!! cheers jimini

sweetnurseBBW -> RE: But you did not tell me..... (8/7/2006 6:28:55 PM)
Tried it , doesnt work

cheshireboy -> RE: But you did not tell me..... (8/7/2006 9:12:15 PM)
ahhh....the joys of wording of phrases...yes, been down this road on both sides of the fence, and it got to the point where in the command every single loop hole was covered....i know that i couldn't do anything, but it was fun to try and find a loop hole. but with time i realized that was wasting too much time in combative banter...so it stopped cept for those rare occasions where the "cheshire" part of me rises its hackles. cheshire

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