Reason to Be (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message

LotusSong -> Reason to Be (8/7/2006 5:18:08 PM)

How many came to the lifestyle because of the hope of multiple partners?

How  much of the idealized thought of having a woman or man (refering to Dom/me and submissives) "do everything you want/hope without question" did you think attracted you?

What did you find to be the truth?

When I first heard of it all., I admit I thought "WOW! The 60's revisited!"




popeye1250 -> RE: Reason to Be (8/7/2006 5:27:27 PM)

Not me Lotus, I'm just looking for one submissive.



DiurnalVampire -> RE: Reason to Be (8/7/2006 5:28:26 PM)

When I came to the lifestyle, I was thrown into the mix attending to 2 subs a friend andDomme already owned.  My appeal to the lifestyle overall was in meeting a boy or girl, in the beginning, that wouldnt question my wanting to take the male role in the relationship.  The kinky sex was great, but even the vanillas were capable of that. I found a much more fulfilling interaction with the submissive men I met through her than I ever did with the vanilla men that barely tolerated my attitude and personality as it was.  My tastes have evolved toward femenization, now, and I am hoping to be able to accomplish that with my boy.

However, the truth I have found is that when you find the right one, in this lifestyle, you and he or she mesh immediately.  The chemistry is unmistakeable and you know its right. I have met a lot before, and I am sure I will meet a lot more after, but the one I have now, I knew from the get go. 
And the old saying is very true.  If you love something, let it go. When it comes back to you, you will know it was meant to be. I did, he did and things are better now than they ever had been.

I HOPE this folows what you were looking to see :)
DV



MissTlTTYMilk -> RE: Reason to Be (8/7/2006 5:37:06 PM)

Before even knowing anything about BDSM:

My philosophy was always that I wanted one person to adore; In turn, I wanted this person to cherish me. 

After learning and experiencing life as such:

The same holds true--one person is all I seek or need.  Cherish now leans more toward the objectification aspects <smile>.



krikket -> RE: Reason to Be (8/7/2006 5:43:13 PM)

All i've ever really wanted in my life was that one special man who'd love me as i am, nurture and guide me, help me grow into better person (woman, sub), and who would allow me the privilege of loving and adoring him.

One upon a time, that didn't seem that much to ask...

jiminie



WhipTheHip -> RE: Reason to Be (8/7/2006 5:48:35 PM)

> How many came to the lifestyle because of the hope of multiple partners?
 
Just the opposite is true, I figured it would be harder to find any female
interested in bdsm.  Looking for a bdsm mate severely limits the pool
of women who might have an interest in you.

> How  much of the idealized thought of having a woman or man (refering
> to Dom/me and submissives) "do everything you want/hope without question"
> did you think attracted you?

I'd have been happy to find a mate with an interest in bdsm period.  I am
flexible and compromising.  



mstrjx -> RE: Reason to Be (8/7/2006 5:54:35 PM)

Lotus, et al,

From what I saw in my early years in the Lifestyle, I'm a bit of an odd duck.  I'm monogamous.

I've played with OPS (other people's subs) with the Dom present, without the Dom present, and in public scenes.  Always at the request of the other Dom.  I have always felt privileged to be asked.

For myself, I've only ever wanted one partner at a time, and I stick with that person until something happens that it's time to move on.  Other than the public scening and the rare couples get-together, I've always kept the play with my partner pretty private.  I did have one night of menage-a-whip, but that was arranged ahead of time, and a one-off deal.

I've never felt like I missed much.  Many of the people I knew in the beginning (think early 90's) were much more open about swapping and cheating (particularly with vanilla spouses).  It wasn't my thing, but I never really openly criticized them.

As far as the 'getting someone to do ANYTHING', well, yes, to a certain extent it has been about the rush of control.  Never about the sexual control, per se, but the power exchange (I'm not very selfish and I'm not a user).  And, to make things more interesting, I do dream up more deviant and 'difficult' things, to see where it can go with any given partner.  I do like to keep the rush going.

Jeff



LotusSong -> RE: Reason to Be (8/7/2006 5:58:32 PM)

Good answers and very much what I hoped :)

In my case, I went to the local dungeon club.  I had a lot of attention I really didn't
want and when Slave came into the picture and asked for my collar, I gave it to him more out of self-defense than anything else.

I got more than I expected.  He was very protective and focused on me. I didn't expect that for some reason.  I was there just to enjoy the evening and go home.

When I would play with others on occasions, he got jealous. All he would do is pout- he never complained but I knew what the "boo-boo face" meant.

I found how much it meant to him. His loyalty to me taught me it was more than a diversion and I took things much more seriously.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Reason to Be (8/7/2006 6:02:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

How many came to the lifestyle because of the hope of multiple partners?

Nope, but I was surely thrilled to find it through finding bdsm.

quote:


How  much of the idealized thought of having a woman or man (refering to Dom/me and submissives) "do everything you want/hope without question" did you think attracted you?

None.  After the first two weeks, I had no illusions about that.



DoctorDubious -> RE: Reason to Be (8/7/2006 6:38:41 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

How many came to the lifestyle because of the hope of multiple partners?

How  much of the idealized thought of having a woman or man (refering to Dom/me and submissives) "do everything you want/hope without question" did you think attracted you?

What did you find to be the truth?

When I first heard of it all., I admit I thought "WOW! The 60's revisited!"




Hey LotusSong.... and all........


>>How  much of the idealized thought of having a woman or man (refering to Dom/me and submissives) "do everything you want/hope without question" did you think attracted you?


10,000,000,000%

For this old goat..... the submission is all of it.
Sure, it's erotic, sexy, and still gets the lust-juices flowing...
but it's NOT the sex, it's the surrender....

G-d smiled on me,
and my first girlfriend,
the first bare tittie I ever saw/felt
and the first girl I ever made love to
and the first girl I ever fell in love with

was also the first girl I ever struck, slapped, switched and spanked...
the first girl I ever tied up and cut her clothes off...

was also the first girl who did whatever the fuck I demanded....

And it was like the flowers got brighter,
the sky was bluer, and everything tasted/smelled/felt better too.


>>How many came to the lifestyle because of the hope of multiple partners?


I suspect every horny guy
superficially thinks he'd like to fuck 'em all.
I did.
And I gave it the good ole college try back
in the middle/late 70's....

But, tragedy of tragedies....
turns out I'm monotonous.... er... monogamous....er....both.

Damn!


DD



sub4hire -> RE: Reason to Be (8/7/2006 8:07:53 PM)

Not me, I was looking for a committed monogamous partner to spend my life with.  Nothing more, nothing less.



crouchingtigress -> RE: Reason to Be (8/7/2006 8:12:15 PM)

hi lotus,
 
thanks for asking this question, i am sort of surprised at the answers and have learned a bit.
 
what drew me to this life was the fucked up sex.



angelic -> RE: Reason to Be (8/7/2006 8:14:48 PM)

~fast reply to no one in particular~ unfortunately, i think that there are those that say they are "BDSM" simply because it is more accepted to have a passel (sp?) full of submissives/slaves.  They truly have zero idea what B D S M means and do nothing more than hide behind the veil in order to have more than one... and then justify it by being 'BDSM' and calling themselves Master/Dom/me/Mistress.  (just my opinion)



LotusSong -> RE: Reason to Be (8/7/2006 8:15:34 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

hi lotus,
 
thanks for asking this question, i am sort of surprised at the answers and have learned a bit.
 
what drew me to this life was the fucked up sex.


Actually, I'm surprized at how most have the goal of that "one special person".  I hope it keeps going for awhile longer.



michaelGA2 -> RE: Reason to Be (8/7/2006 8:15:41 PM)

multiple partners? it's nearly impossible to find one...LOL



LotusSong -> RE: Reason to Be (8/7/2006 8:17:45 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelic

~fast reply to no one in particular~ unfortunately, i think that there are those that say they are "BDSM" simply because it is more accepted to have a passel (sp?) full of submissives/slaves.  They truly have zero idea what B D S M means and do nothing more than hide behind the veil in order to have more than one... and then justify it by being 'BDSM' and calling themselves Master/Dom/me/Mistress.  (just my opinion)


That's why I say.. "D/sBDSM is a lifestyle..not an excuse."  (This turned out to be more interesting a thread than I expected)



Tamerofwild1s -> RE: Reason to Be (8/7/2006 8:21:31 PM)

ok this is just an opinion of mine but .. I have said more times then naught that I only wanted one girl . one slave who could be everything to me . why? here we go my opinion remember
 
I feel it takes alot of mental drain on me to do the things I am required to do on a day to day basis to keep a slave moving in directions Iwant her to go . to use that mental drain on others . more then one . would either be unfair to one of the girls or be excessively draining on me. I'll stick with one girl.



ChainedExistence -> RE: Reason to Be (8/7/2006 8:45:20 PM)

 
I suppose like many girls who read one too many romance novels, I had images of a strong man who would carry me off to be his love slave, but I don't think I really believed that was possible. If anything, I wasn't sure that I could have a loving relationship with a dominant. I thought I'd have to be content with someone who liked me at best. So, this is nothing like I really expected...it is infinitely better!



cheshireboy -> RE: Reason to Be (8/7/2006 9:08:10 PM)

boy came her for understanding more than anything else....he didn't realize it, but has always had a submissive nature...hell, even when he was in his messed up stage of thinking that submissive males was beneath him, and he wanted to wear boots, he still found himself acting submissive <life is strange sometimes>
 
now onto the many partners...he will say that yes, having more than one person to serve would be enjoyable, but that is cause he likes to show off, having to cook and serve food and drinks all day and into the night with giving foot massages lighting cigarettes and the like, would be heaven for a day....does he need to be sexual then? hell no, if he was then the food would get over cooked and that would be bad, and he he would have to get punish, now may be enjoyable, that wouldn't be the focus for him.
 
cheshire



nefertari -> RE: Reason to Be (8/7/2006 9:16:45 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

How many came to the lifestyle because of the hope of multiple partners?


I'm looking, utlimately, for a long term relationship.  However, as my nick implies I'd certainly be interested in polyamory, but it would have to be my Dom and me looking to bring in a 3rd.  I couldn't go into a relationship as the 3rd.  That's just me and my needs.

quote:

How  much of the idealized thought of having a woman or man (refering to Dom/me and submissives) "do everything you want/hope without question" did you think attracted you?


No idealized notions here.




Page: [1] 2 3 4   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.046875