Emperor1956
Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline
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OOOH Nun jokes!
Q: Hey Merc (Yah, Emp?) What's black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white?
A: A nun rolling down a hill.
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An old Spanish joke in translation: Q: What's the difference between a young girl taking her first communion and an old nun taking a bath?
A: One has only hope in her soul, and one has only soap in her hole.
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My favorite nun joke (also, not coincidentally, my favorite 7 dwarves joke): The seven dwarves are invited to the Vatican for a private audience with the Pope. They are of course excited. They go to Rome, and tour the city for a day. They cavort and drink and eat, as dwarves do. They tour the holy city for another day, with much drinking and cavorting, dwarf style, into the night. And now, the dwarves are REALLY excited because the dwarves have a question they must ask the Holy Father. A very special question.
Finally, they get their audience. They are so excited that they may finally ask the Pope their question. They elect "Doc" to ask because he's the smartest one.
The 7 dwarves kneel, kiss the ring, and then FINALLY Doc takes a breath and asks "Your Holiness...do you by chance have any dwarf nuns in Rome?"
The Pope pauses...thinks...consults one of his secretaries in attendance, and says "No, Doc, we do not."
Doc persists "Your Grace, are you SURE you have no dwarf nuns in Rome?"
The Pope calls in several ministers, and a Cardinal or two. They scour the Vatican records. Hours pass. Finally, the Pope is handed an elaborately written (Latin of course) document on vellum. And the Pope opens the document. Shakes his head and says "NO, Doc, there are NO dwarf nuns in Rome. Not a one. And we checked. No midgets. No little people. Not one nun of that sort."
Doc draws himself up to his full 3'7" height and says "Your eminence, this is of SUCH importance...please...are there any dwarf nuns ANYWHERE in Europe?" and again, the research starts...this time it takes a day...and there are literally hundreds of clerics scouring every conceivable source. and finally, the Pope comes back.
"Doc, there are NO dwarf nuns in Europe. Indeed, there are currently NO DWARF NUNS in service anywhere. Not a one. NO."
And the other five dwarves start chanting "Dopey fucked a penguin...Dopey fucked a penguin..."
E.
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"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.
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Nun of that! - 
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