Why do (some) Dommes specify no sex

Why do (some) Dommes specify no sex (Full Version)

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LotusSong -> Why do (some) Dommes specify no sex (8/8/2006 7:18:20 PM)
(for me) Because once sex is a focus.. play becomes something that is put up with to get to the prize. I like the carrot approach :) (I posted this just in case no one knew :)

TheOriginalBitch -> RE: Why do (some) Dommes specify no sex (8/8/2006 7:25:24 PM)
Because by taking sex out of the relationship, the slave can focus on building the relationship. The relationship will have time to grow, develop TPE and learn about your partners needs, wants and desires. Too many relationships end too quickly because sex is thrown in at the begining and there is no relationship to support it. Now don't get Me wrong sex or as I prefer to call it making love will happen, but not until the relationship has evolved quite a bit. I won't go to a bar and pick someone up, I sure won't go to a Dungeon and pick up a slave. Sex or Making Love is reserved for that special someone, or for a reward.... Yes the carrot dangle technique works quite well. Mistress "The Original Bitch"

MySweetSubmssive -> RE: Why do (some) Dommes specify no sex (8/8/2006 7:30:19 PM)
To cut out those who want ... (giggling) ... "slam, bam, thank you Ma'am." As a way to winnow out guys who just want to "try things out" with no commitment to the process. And it's the carrot thing, too. Once I find someone I enjoy, I like playing with someone's sexual energy, but don't want that to be an expectation.

ToServeIsToLive -> RE: Why do (some) Dommes specify no sex (8/8/2006 8:01:51 PM)
SM isn't a sexual thing for me, and in some situations sexual excitment can detract from SM. So I can see why a Mistress wou.ld want to avoid it. There's also the bombardment by fakes, the desire to not want to look fake, not wanting it to be a focus of discussion, not wanting it to be expected, and I'm sure there's some other decent reasons to deter it from initial discussions. Of course there's many fine reasons for not specifying no sex as you mentioned. If a loving relationship formed, I would venture to guess sex would start becoming involved even with people who specify no sex.

LTRsubNW -> RE: Why do (some) Dommes specify no sex (8/8/2006 8:04:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong "...Because once sex is a focus.. " It's funny (and I know you were asking from a woman...to a Domme...but...) It's rather strange...God fucked over the whole gig. I'm a sub. (48...couple weeks). (Ooooops....male sub). You've focused on why sex is so secondary. This is just one reason why the sexes differentiate (I'll get to that). It's funny...I wonder why so many women my age don't want to cuddle...enjoy...swim in the moment....(I was there, by the way {and quite ready}....15 years ago). (Just thought I'd let you know). (Which is why the whole "cuckold" thing has such prescience {to me})... But I digress. God messed up. He should have called me. I'd have told him "HEY!!! God!!! Here's the deal...all the chics I want to bone are too old for me {I'm 27}....no....wait...they're too young for me...{I'm 43}..."No...wait...they look fine but they don't know enough Beatles tunes"... "...God...you know my number...I would be more than happy to tell you my preferences...I'm listed..." I'm telling you...God needs to be more in tune with how my couch goes with my duvet' and...if I have to figure out where that 20 went that I'm certain was in the center console. ************ Oh...the differentiation: Well...we're different (you and I). Sorry...the explanation doesn't actually get much more complicated than that. Sorry about that.

FelinePersuasion -> RE: Why do (some) Dommes specify no sex (8/8/2006 8:06:39 PM)
Dam and here I thought this was going to be yet another thread started by a male wanting to know what's wrong with sex and slavery. boy am I disapointed.

mstrjx -> RE: Why do (some) Dommes specify no sex (8/8/2006 8:09:36 PM)
And here my style is 'all about the carrots', and not in a selfish way. I guess I can distinct 'sex' from 'not necessarily sex for me'. But, we're talking about a 'just a guy' Dom vs. Femdoms. Not to quibble, but shouldn't this thread be in the 'ask a Mistress' section? Jeff

LotusSong -> RE: Why do (some) Dommes specify no sex (8/8/2006 8:11:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LTRsubNW quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong "...Because once sex is a focus.. " ...God fucked over the whole gig. Oh no She didn't (weg)

Najakcharmer -> RE: Why do (some) Dommes specify no sex (8/8/2006 8:13:08 PM)
Because if you don't, you get absolutely fucking INNUNDATED with offers of sex. Explicit ones. I'm sorry, but strangers telling me how good they are at oral sex just make me go "yuck". Especially when it's dead obvious that it's a wank-off form letter. It's not that I don't like sex. I do. But not with strangers, please.

LTRsubNW -> RE: Why do (some) Dommes specify no sex (8/8/2006 8:20:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer Because if you don't, you get absolutely fucking INNUNDATED with offers of sex. (I'd just like to say...I have NOT been inundndated with offers of sex...and frankly...I'm pissed).

LotusSong -> RE: Why do (some) Dommes specify no sex (8/8/2006 8:30:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mstrjx And here my style is 'all about the carrots', and not in a selfish way. I guess I can distinct 'sex' from 'not necessarily sex for me'. But, we're talking about a 'just a guy' Dom vs. Femdoms. Not to quibble, but shouldn't this thread be in the 'ask a Mistress' section? Jeff OOOPS! I totally zoned out on that one..If the Moderators need to move this there.. please do.

Najakcharmer -> RE: Why do (some) Dommes specify no sex (8/8/2006 8:32:18 PM)
shrugs Me dunno. You'd think, with a profile explicitly written to ask people to write only if they are interested in making friends, and please don't write with explicit offers or sex or kink, I would get fewer of these than a profile on CM that didn't specify those things. In addition, my main profile photo is of the old 40 lbs heavier pre-weight lifting/healthy low carb eating me, with no makeup and in drab work clothes. So you'd think I would not get a lot of sexually explicit email offers. But I do. Well, maybe not a lot, but enough to piss me off and make it obvious that a lot of people don't actually bother reading profiles. If you have a secret to NOT getting these, I'd like to know about it. checks your profile Oh yeah. I see your secret. You're male. Hmmm...maybe I REALLY need to revise my profile pic. searches teh intarweb for pictures of big hairy truck drivers

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Why do (some) Dommes specify no sex (8/8/2006 8:33:54 PM)
I used to specify no sex to weed out the ones who werent interested in service. When yuo say no, then only the truly serious ones make it past that to find out more. Being the Domme, I could always change my mind and decide I did want sex later in the progression, but I prefered to find boys who didnt see it as a major point. My 2 cents DV And LTRsubNW, you can have my offers. I get more now that I actualy put in my profile that I have someone under consideration than I ever did before. I dont understand that...

ToServeIsToLive -> RE: Why do (some) Dommes specify no sex (8/8/2006 9:18:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer checks your profile Oh yeah. I see your secret. You're male. Hmmm...maybe I REALLY need to revise my profile pic. searches teh intarweb for pictures of big hairy truck drivers It's true that will get you less messages (read almost none), but it's lonely without any mail to read when you're bored : (

Najakcharmer -> RE: Why do (some) Dommes specify no sex (8/8/2006 9:40:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ToServeIsToLive It's true that will get you less messages (read almost none), but it's lonely without any mail to read when you're bored : ( I would have to be pretty freaking bored to want to read misspelled attempts at very bad pornography aimed in my direction. About the only amusement I'd get from it is to post it for everyone to laugh at, but that practice is discouraged here so I'm limited to printing the absolute worst of them out to share with friends at the local Munch.

MissAbby -> RE: Why do (some) Dommes specify no sex (8/8/2006 10:21:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer So you'd think I would not get a lot of sexually explicit email offers. But I do. Well, maybe not a lot, but enough to piss me off and make it obvious that a lot of people don't actually bother reading profiles. If you have a secret to NOT getting these, I'd like to know about it. Hi Najakcharmer, I do not get a lot of sexually explicit email offers although like you I am looking for Friends Only. I think the main difference is that I do not have a picture up. Also My profile begins... "*Not Currently Seeking a Play Partner or Relationship*" although I'm not sure how much that weeds out the spank-and-wanks because they probably don't pay much attention to a profile. I do still get offers to serve Me, but they are polite. It's probably the picture that causes men to fall in LUV with you and they just can't control themselves! hehe... All of your base are belong to us.

MsGothUk -> RE: Why do (some) Dommes specify no sex (8/9/2006 12:28:56 AM)
I dont have sexual contact with any subs I play with, it's a personal choice.

Arpig -> RE: Why do (some) Dommes specify no sex (8/9/2006 1:26:44 AM)
because once sex is involved they can no longer chatge money and claim "I am not a whore"

MsGothUk -> RE: Why do (some) Dommes specify no sex (8/9/2006 1:31:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Arpig because once sex is involved they can no longer chatge money and claim "I am not a whore" where in the question did it say Pro Dommes?

TheShadows -> RE: Why do (some) Dommes specify no sex (8/9/2006 8:34:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissAbby All of your base are belong to us. LMAO! It's good to know I'm not the only one here that remembers that. The Ever-Nerdy, MrsShadows

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