might be silly question (Full Version)

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bethane -> might be silly question (8/9/2006 1:24:21 AM)

Sirs

is communcation and the art of it  important in this lifestyle if your answer is yes of course . then please can you tell this girl who is new here why Masters send one line messages  to slaves  that are either insulting of the girls intelligence  or demanding  this girl has comne from being owned  to needing a new owner  adn simply questions  this aspect  for her own  development.

next bit to this

why do i feel like i need to behave in a manner unbefitting a  trained slave  in order to  acquire  decent  messages here  when being a brat is frowned upon in lifestyle circles  but should girl behave as she knows  its also wrong  so what does a girl do
i



Arpig -> RE: might be silly question (8/9/2006 1:27:59 AM)

Simple...the ones who send those messages are NOT masters...they are wankers



Estring -> RE: might be silly question (8/9/2006 1:40:10 AM)

As Arpig said, these are not Masters except in their own mind. You owe them no respect.
And as a slave, you are under no obligation to be courteous to anyone who doesn't respect you. Don't feel bad about that. When you meet a real Dom, your training will kick in. 

And there are no silly questions, just silly answers.[;)]



JustaDom -> RE: might be silly question (8/9/2006 2:45:36 AM)

The one line emails are not just sent to you, they are sent to just about every woman on the site.  Occasionally these morons even click the wrong profile and I've had a couple sent to me as well.

I suggest to ignore, delete and/or block them as needed.  They are not dominants, they are personal ad spammers and the same thing goes on every similar site that I am aware of -- usually by the same people.  Your time would be much better spent answering the few well written emails or doing something productive.

Even in the fairy tales no princess was expected to kiss every frog in the pond.  No one worth listening to will fault any woman for avoiding the overly warty ones.  In fact, paying any attention to them at all (other than deleting or blocking) will only make the problem worse.

Joe



RavenMuse -> RE: might be silly question (8/9/2006 3:10:13 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: bethane
why do i feel like i need to behave in a manner unbefitting a  trained slave


The other parts of this have already been addressed by Arpig and Estring.

The bit I quoted, I did so because I disagree with your implication. Owned slaves get pathetic one liners too, they also get inappropriate messages. Other Masters may take a diffrent approach but personaly I see no need to isolate a girl of mine from free interaction. I trust her, she is mine and I know she will act appropriatly. I have no wish for her to spend hours and hours replying to compleat morons, it is appropriate for her to simply delete and ignore one line rubbish. To block, delete and ignore inapropriate messages.... the only thing she does which you can not is to let Me know of any particularly unpleasent ones so *I* can decide wether they get blocked and deleted, responded to by Myself or indeed reported to Admin if they are overly abusive.

A trained slave will defend the bounderys set by her Master, an unowned slave simply defends the bounderys of being treated respectfully by those she has NOT yet submitted to. Letting the kneel bitch brigade walk all over her would NOT help a prospective Master feel she could defend the bounderys HE sets for her, it would present a trust issue and concerns about her being a doormat.

Dealing with inapropriate mail correctly, I put to you, IS acting properly as befitting a trained slave.

Edit to add: oh and welcome to the forums dear [:)]



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: might be silly question (8/9/2006 7:16:33 AM)

First off, just because someone is a dork or an asshole doesn't mean they aren't a dom or a master.

You’re online.  This is what happens online.  Just be yourself and you’ll find someone who works with you.  Take what works and leave the rest.



Pulpsmack -> RE: might be silly question (8/9/2006 9:00:41 AM)

While I generally agree with most of the above, I will add this...

Some profiles are very "iffy" and people use trigger lines to see what occurs. for example

"DomX" reads "Sub Y" profile & it looks suspicious.

DomX: Hello, I noticed you online. How are you this evening?

SubY: Hey sexy! I love your profile. Want to see more of my pictures? then go to www.fuckingscam.com and you can see me and my friends getting crazy!


It's much easier laugh the response off when you invest one lame line rather than 2 paragraphs about yourself and 1 paragraph about what you enjoyed reading about the other person.

As for myself, I stopped bothering on this site. Either they come to me and I ferret out the genuine from the bullshit, or I live a life free from the fakes, the businessmen, and the baggage laden.



Mavis -> RE: might be silly question (8/9/2006 9:32:15 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Pulpsmack

"DomX" reads "Sub Y" profile & it looks suspicious.

DomX: Hello, I noticed you online. How are you this evening?

SubY: Hey sexy! I love your profile. Want to see more of my pictures? then go to www.fuckingscam.com and you can see me and my friends getting crazy!



LOL. 

( And here i thought that little convo was just between us!)



bethane -> RE: might be silly question (8/10/2006 12:40:24 PM)

i would  like to say thankyou for answering my question  your advice is good  thankyou and  thanks for making me feel  able to be me ..

bethane



KnightofMists -> RE: might be silly question (8/10/2006 1:07:40 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: bethane
is communcation and the art of it  important in this lifestyle if your answer is yes of course . then please can you tell this girl who is new here why Masters send one line messages  to slaves  that are either insulting of the girls intelligence  or demanding  this girl has comne from being owned  to needing a new owner  adn simply questions  this aspect  for her own  development.


Why is it that individuals that send one line messages that are insulting to a girls intelligence and wish certain intimate activitie before being owned... and this same girl refers/labels these individuals as Master?



raiken -> RE: might be silly question (8/10/2006 2:07:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

Why is it that individuals that send one line messages that are insulting to a girls intelligence and wish certain intimate activitie before being owned... and this same girl refers/labels these individuals as Master?

 
Because she is new and is still learning, and maybe she likes the way the word "Master" rolls off of her finger tips? *grinz



porcelaine -> RE: might be silly question (8/10/2006 6:03:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: bethane

next bit to this

why do i feel like i need to behave in a manner unbefitting a  trained slave  in order to  acquire  decent  messages here  when being a brat is frowned upon in lifestyle circles  but should girl behave as she knows  its also wrong  so what does a girl do
i


You mentioned that you are a trained slave. I would gather the answer would be fairly obvious. You maintain your station always. There is no reason why a nameless faceless entity should compel you to do anything you don't desire to do on your own. Simply put you respond politely and be done with it. Etiquette is a staple of society and you shouldn't forsake yours merely because the other party has done the same.

porcelaine



Wolfie648 -> RE: might be silly question (8/10/2006 11:29:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: bethane

Sirs

is communcation and the art of it  important in this lifestyle if your answer is yes of course . then please can you tell this girl who is new here why Masters send one line messages  to slaves  that are either insulting of the girls intelligence  or demanding  this girl has comne from being owned  to needing a new owner  adn simply questions  this aspect  for her own  development.



Because they are looking for girls that respond to that type of treatment. It's not wrong from either side. It's just common on one and rare on the other.

quote:

next bit to this

quote:

why do i feel like i need to behave in a manner unbefitting a  trained slave  in order to  acquire  decent  messages here[/quote

I don't know why do you feel you need to?
quote:


when being a brat is frowned upon in lifestyle circles 


Being a brat is not frowned on in lifestyle circles. It is frowned on in some lifestyle circles (I personally can't stand it but that's my gig not everyone else's). Keep looking.

quote:



but should girl behave as she knows  its also wrong  so what does a girl do
i


I am not 100% certain what you are asking here.

Good luck in your search.

D (owner of j).



wandering4u -> RE: might be silly question (8/11/2006 3:14:45 AM)

I agree with Arpig. Neanderthal behavior doesn't help anyone



SirDarkside357 -> RE: might be silly question (8/15/2006 6:50:44 PM)

As the self proclaimed King of the one liners, I don't think the length of a response is that important, it's the content that counts.

Be Well,
Darkside



TNstepsout -> RE: might be silly question (8/15/2006 7:27:12 PM)

No, it's not a silly question. They do it to make it easy to figure out which emails to delete and which people to ignore. Just trust the system. It works.



FLButtSlut -> RE: might be silly question (8/15/2006 8:11:46 PM)

As LuckyAlbatross points out, this is online.  I know that those same kind of stupid statements can be made face to face in a social situation (party, club, bar) as well.  Jerks are jerks. 

I have the bigger issue with those who send a reasonable email and then as you try to chat and discover if what they are really looking for is what you are also looking for they give vague answers.  I am not looking to be someone's slave, and there are definately areas of my life that are not up for negotiation.  I have had several "doms" lately during discussions of what areas of a sub's life they wish to control give the vague "it depends" types of answers.  Before anyone says anything, yes, I do quite clearly state "this or that" is not up for negotiation or discussion (i.e. my attire for work is not something anyone else gets to choose). 

So my question is this....How many of you doms out there are so unsure of how much control you want or what you want to control in a sub's life, that you can never give a straight answer to such a question?



RavenMuse -> RE: might be silly question (8/16/2006 2:15:57 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FLButtSlut
So my question is this....How many of you doms out there are so unsure of how much control you want or what you want to control in a sub's life, that you can never give a straight answer to such a question?


There is a big diffrence between insecurity and dealing with reality. Every girl is diffrent with diffrent circumstances. I am far from insecure but until I have talked through in detail with any prospective girl I don't know exactly where the lines will be drawn.

If she has children, those are HER responsibility. I will support and advise, but I am collaring her, not them and her duty to them HAS to take precident.

Her career if she has one is also an area I will never know well enough to be able to make the correct level of informed decisions on. The limits of any control in this area have to be carefully discussed.

If her family (Outside of children) are vanilla then likewise it is not an area I will meddle in.

Those are the three main areas likely to come up but if a girl gives me damn good reasons why something else NEEDS to be outside of the D/s framework it can be looked at, discussed and probably agreed too.

All else is MINE

No insecurity but as you can see, at the start of any discussion with a prospective girl it is vague, I need to know their circumstances before it can be more specific. These are parts of discussing compatability. If she is looking for too many 'exceptions' then we do not end up moving toward a collar, If it is a situation I can be comfortable with then we can do.



shivvy -> RE: might be silly question (8/16/2006 2:46:45 AM)

i'm a sub, so please forgive my posting here.
 
if i may bethane hunny, when i first joined this site, i asked a similar question about so-called Doms demanding photos, especially naked ones, and a bit of advice i woz given, wot i would like to pass on please is this...
 
just because you are a submissive, don't mean you are Their submissive.
 
as porcelaine said, just write back politely inviting Them to "naff off".
 
you got some other good advice here too, but especially from RavenMuse and LuckyAlbatross, as usual.
 
good luck with your search hun.
 
luv shiv
xx



MasterRobert1 -> RE: might be silly question (8/16/2006 1:22:39 PM)

That's the wonderful thing about online; everything gets turned aropund and stood on it's head. Yes, communication is important in this lifestyle. If people aren't communicating the rigth way, Dom or sub, then something isn't functioning properly. Or the people may not know that real communication (as opposed to initiating a fantasy conversation) is important and necesary.



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