a question of pro-subs?

a question of pro-subs? (Full Version)

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CuteIrishM4F -> a question of pro-subs? (8/9/2006 4:02:34 AM)
Good day to you all, Marcmjm, Jasmyn, MsJaded, and some others opened up a fascinating discussion on Pro-Doms recently (Dom being the male variety). There was much discussion on the possibilities, as well as the difficulties and risks associated with the career of a professional male Dominant. It got me thinking. With the general gender imbalance in the scene here in Ireland (bdsmireland reported recently on the general attendence at munches being predominantly male), might not it be wise for a submissive male to travel the professional path in order to meet the few Dominants out there? The major question in the Pro-Dom thread was would women pay for that which they might ultimately get for free? There seemed no argument that if there were more men 'into' the lifestyle, that they would pay a Pro-Domme if there was no other option. But if women had the pick of the crop, what might motivate them to pay? A lack of quality male dominants was suggested as a good motivation. It was stated that some female subs, even straight women, would pay a Pro-Domme because there was no other way (of any quality) to fulfil their submissive needs. my thoughts were that a good-quality and professional submissive might attract dominant females who are not looking for a relationship. Personally my motivations for doing it would be to meet dominant women in the hope of creating a meaningful bond with one of them, but another man might make a genuine career out of it, offering a genuine no strings-attatched, sex-free, good quality, BDSM experiance. Any thoughts?

Mavis -> RE: a question of pro-subs? (8/9/2006 5:47:50 AM)
Should maybe a moderator merge this topic with the one that heads with a poll? i'm not sure how it works, but it seems it's close enough in topic that the replies will get doubled, split, and mixed. but then, that's kind of like the life W/we choose.. isn't it?

Lordandmaster -> RE: a question of pro-subs? (8/9/2006 5:52:04 AM)
From what I've seen, dommes don't have to pay for anything. There are so many male subs running around that it's really a seller's market. quote: ORIGINAL: CuteIrishM4F my thoughts were that a good-quality and professional submissive might attract dominant females who are not looking for a relationship.

RavenMuse -> RE: a question of pro-subs? (8/9/2006 6:09:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster From what I've seen, dommes don't have to pay for anything. There are so many male subs running around that it's really a seller's market. And would you really WANT someone who had to pay to get that? If they can't find it elsewhere there is likely very good reasons why they can't find anyone sane for free!

popeye1250 -> RE: a question of pro-subs? (8/9/2006 8:25:39 AM)
It's certainly possible! There's a lot of busy career women out there today who work 60-80 hours per week and could afford "services" like that. But I imagine you'd have to be close to large metropolitan areas like Dublin or Cork where the big companies and corporations are though. Now, how would you go about "getting the word out" or advertising those "services", that's the question! Find a "busy career woman" in advertising to start?

AAkasha -> RE: a question of pro-subs? (8/9/2006 8:30:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CuteIrishM4F Good day to you all, Marcmjm, Jasmyn, MsJaded, and some others opened up a fascinating discussion on Pro-Doms recently (Dom being the male variety). There was much discussion on the possibilities, as well as the difficulties and risks associated with the career of a professional male Dominant. It got me thinking. With the general gender imbalance in the scene here in Ireland (bdsmireland reported recently on the general attendence at munches being predominantly male), might not it be wise for a submissive male to travel the professional path in order to meet the few Dominants out there? The major question in the Pro-Dom thread was would women pay for that which they might ultimately get for free? There seemed no argument that if there were more men 'into' the lifestyle, that they would pay a Pro-Domme if there was no other option. But if women had the pick of the crop, what might motivate them to pay? A lack of quality male dominants was suggested as a good motivation. It was stated that some female subs, even straight women, would pay a Pro-Domme because there was no other way (of any quality) to fulfil their submissive needs. my thoughts were that a good-quality and professional submissive might attract dominant females who are not looking for a relationship. Personally my motivations for doing it would be to meet dominant women in the hope of creating a meaningful bond with one of them, but another man might make a genuine career out of it, offering a genuine no strings-attatched, sex-free, good quality, BDSM experiance. Any thoughts? I'm probably in the minority, but I certainly would pay a professional submissive. Why? I don't want/need the entanglements of an emotional relationship or a potentially clingy submissive. I don't want to be pressured into sexual relations and I don't want to cater to a submissive's agenda. The catch is that the pro sub would have to be exceptional. I would be into this if there were as many pro male subs available as there are pro femdoms; various ages, styles, locations, experience levels. I'd want the best of the best. He'd have to look as good as Johnny Depp and have the insight and empathy to push all my buttons, and come equipped with his own playspace and every imaginable device. That's where it starts to become unrealistic. When this topic has come up in years past, I get lots of emails from men "willing" to submit to me for money. Upon further investigation, I would not have touched them with a ten foot pole -- based on lack of experience, no playspace/toys of their own, poor hygeine or lack of social skills. Could a pro sub "make it"? I think if word got around that he was good. Femdoms talk to each other. I think he'd do even better if he started off subbing/bottoming to gay tops - that's where the market is. At least you'd know he honed his skills and was serious about his craft. Akasha

CuteIrishM4F -> RE: a question of pro-subs? (8/9/2006 8:34:34 AM)
Thats a great suggestion Popey1250! Thanks for the feedback all of you. It just sort of came to me as the Pro-Dom thread developed. Its not something i'm actually seriously considering, but who knows?!! i think it would be nice to have more female input into this thread to assertain the likelihood of success. Mavis is probably quite correct and Raven Muse does make a very good point! But who knows? Especially if the woman is a busy career lady who doesn't have the time or the inclination to persue a 'lifestyle' situation, and who really would like to keep it as a private affair that no-one would find out about, maybe it would suit such a woman? No? althalus, thief of hearts.

CuteIrishM4F -> RE: a question of pro-subs? (8/9/2006 8:38:28 AM)
Wow AAkasha, You must have written that as i wrote the above comment. You are fast! Thanks for the feedback. i am intrigued by Your honesty on this. althalus.

onestandingstill -> RE: a question of pro-subs? (8/9/2006 8:41:27 AM)
Man, to get paid to have someone pay extra careful, fun, and exciting attention to me. What a concept!!! Where do I sign up to be made rich for having fun??? Seriously though...... I think pro Domme's are in demand (as others mention here) due to an abundant supply of male sub's who can't find one of their own ladies to take a journey with them on their own merit. Mind you this is a volume of available male subs, not the quality or choices they have that make this so prevalent. I think the need drives the willingness to pay. From a Top point of view I'd feel like if I had to pay someone to submit to me it would not be the same type of dynamic as it would be if the person submitted to me for me, not my money. I think for female sub's the same that holds true in the vanilla dating scene holds true here. Women can always find someone willing to play with them, just not the ones we want to play with necessarily. Women can have someone play with them for free when they want to much easier than male subs can. I imagine there are male pro sub's, I just think it's not a popular position to see happening. Good Luck Finding What Suits You Best, Suzanne

SubmissiveOphelia -> RE: a question of pro-subs? (8/9/2006 8:44:13 AM)
There is hardly a demand for male pro subs.. no market for it. Women can get subs easily... for free. Anytime a man is involved (and a woman is seeing a man) she never has to pay. Any male pro sub who can make it.. i give them lots of credit that is well deserved. At least that is how it is here in NYC.

RavenMuse -> RE: a question of pro-subs? (8/9/2006 9:15:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CuteIrishM4F Raven Muse does make a very good point! But who knows? Especially if the woman is a busy career lady who doesn't have the time or the inclination to persue a 'lifestyle' situation, and who really would like to keep it as a private affair that no-one would find out about, maybe it would suit such a woman? No? The point is that with the very large numbers of Male subs out there, even a busy career woman can find a choise of willing 'do me boys' for virtualy any kink she may have, with quite some ease. Keeping it private, well as many politicians have found, going to a pro is hardly a guarentee of privacy. But that said, if you think it is an avenue you would like to explore, you won't know the reality till you have a look and see. Just be aware of the level of risk, talk to the Fem pro-subs and get tips, talk to prostitutes and rent boys (OK you are not talking about involving in sex but you are taking a lot of the same risks) and again find out from those who successfully keep the safety risks as low as possible what your options actualy ARE. Also maybe worth chatting to someone like the spanner trust about the possible legal ramifications and risks you may encounter. Personaly I don't think it is a good idea, but if you go ahead anyhow, be safe and good luck.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: a question of pro-subs? (8/9/2006 9:24:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: popeye1250 But I imagine you'd have to be close to large metropolitan areas like Dublin or Cork where the big companies and corporations are though. OK it's funny hearing Cork referred to a large metro area since I lived there for half a year. Second to Raven- while of course there is some truth to the fact that people can pay for services they can't find on their own, it is only a small piece of truth. Trust me, paying for services, sexual and kinky icluded, can often be just about having a few hours devoted to that one person, no questions asked, no problems, no dangling issues, no future or past worries. This can be quite appealing to many people.

AAkasha -> RE: a question of pro-subs? (8/9/2006 9:31:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RavenMuse quote: ORIGINAL: CuteIrishM4F Raven Muse does make a very good point! But who knows? Especially if the woman is a busy career lady who doesn't have the time or the inclination to persue a 'lifestyle' situation, and who really would like to keep it as a private affair that no-one would find out about, maybe it would suit such a woman? No? The point is that with the very large numbers of Male subs out there, even a busy career woman can find a choise of willing 'do me boys' for virtualy any kink she may have, with quite some ease. Keeping it private, well as many politicians have found, going to a pro is hardly a guarentee of privacy. But that said, if you think it is an avenue you would like to explore, you won't know the reality till you have a look and see. Just be aware of the level of risk, talk to the Fem pro-subs and get tips, talk to prostitutes and rent boys (OK you are not talking about involving in sex but you are taking a lot of the same risks) and again find out from those who successfully keep the safety risks as low as possible what your options actualy ARE. Also maybe worth chatting to someone like the spanner trust about the possible legal ramifications and risks you may encounter. Personaly I don't think it is a good idea, but if you go ahead anyhow, be safe and good luck. There are a couple of situations people are overlooking. One is where the femdom already does have a loving, submissive partner and is fulfilled emotionally; she just wants a little action on the side in the form of a no-strings encounter. Second is the "busy career woman" -- trust me, a busy career woman does not have time to sift through the 100 "willing" and available male subs to screen and find the one that is actually going to work. If a professional sub had a place of business, established clientele and a reputation, at least you would be assured that hours wouldn't be wasted in the screening process only to find out that 'mr. willing and able.' was not honest about anything. I'm not saying this is a huge, untapped market. If anything, it's tiny. But I don't think it's unrealistic. There are women that use male escorts; certainly some of these ladies have a kinky edge and would appreciate a man who had the right skills. There are also women that would pay to have an attractive man doting on her; she might not be a sadist, but she wants a lot of attention. I believe a couple of years ago a mall in London did very well with a Christmas promotion where they provided a handsome man to accompany ladies and carry their packages. I bet the men that had that position came across a few "femdom" types. Akasha

popeye1250 -> RE: a question of pro-subs? (8/9/2006 9:32:16 AM)
L.A. it is for Ireland! lolol How did you come to live there?

mnottertail -> RE: a question of pro-subs? (8/9/2006 9:40:46 AM)
If you guys are gonna talk about proudsub, why not spell it out? Everybody is going to figure out the - thing anyway....it isn't like it is overly clever. Ron

CuteIrishM4F -> RE: a question of pro-subs? (8/9/2006 9:51:29 AM)
This is becoming an interesting thread with many conflicting views. Thanks to all of you for your comments. Just so you all know i ave added a poll in the polls section dealing with this. There are some interesting comments there too if anyone is interested. Your votes would be welcomed also ;) althalus.

LotusSong -> RE: a question of pro-subs? (8/9/2006 10:28:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: popeye1250 It's certainly possible! There's a lot of busy career women out there today who work 60-80 hours per week and could afford "services" like that. But I imagine you'd have to be close to large metropolitan areas like Dublin or Cork where the big companies and corporations are though. Now, how would you go about "getting the word out" or advertising those "services", that's the question! Find a "busy career woman" in advertising to start? Point taken.. but then add that women have that darn "relationship" gene. I know I need to feel a "connection" with the submissive. I just couldn't play to play... let alone part with my money!! :) I think this situation is OUR double standard.

Vancouver_cinful -> RE: a question of pro-subs? (8/9/2006 1:38:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha I think he'd do even better if he started off subbing/bottoming to gay tops - that's where the market is. At least you'd know he honed his skills and was serious about his craft. I agree. This is where the money is going to be in the male pro-sub business. You'd have to be willing to put out money for a well-stocked dungeon, have toys, and look pretty damn hot, I think to even be taken seriously.

MisPandora -> RE: a question of pro-subs? (8/9/2006 2:31:12 PM)
Darlin, you said you couldn't find women to meet and play with......how in the world are you going to get the non-existent women to pay for you?

MisPandora -> RE: a question of pro-subs? (8/9/2006 2:33:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: popeye1250 It's certainly possible! There's a lot of busy career women out there today who work 60-80 hours per week and could afford "services" like that. But I imagine you'd have to be close to large metropolitan areas like Dublin or Cork where the big companies and corporations are though. Now, how would you go about "getting the word out" or advertising those "services", that's the question! Find a "busy career woman" in advertising to start? One would also expect a significant amount of experience and skills borne of the pro sub to make his services worthwhile. That's not something that comes from thinking about being a submissive and never actually experiencing it, much less receiving some sort of training.

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