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RE: Mushy Topics - 8/10/2006 3:07:18 AM

cuddleheart50

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From: Kentucky
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Thank you Estring, I appreciate your answer.

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RE: Mushy Topics - 8/10/2006 3:09:25 AM

cuddleheart50

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Thank you pounddog and KenDckey for your explanations.

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Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.

(in reply to Estring)

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Post #: 22

RE: Mushy Topics - 8/10/2006 3:16:48 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: cuddleheart50

Did you ever notice that in the mushy topics, women pour their hearts out, and you very rarely if ever see a man post in them....Is it is Macho thing...Why won't they pour out their hearts as well?

*shrugs* Some folks don't feel the need to open up a lot, some think that there is too much outpouring of emotions, and yeah, some people are scared to be open. I'm fairly upfront about feelings, and don't have much of a problem with others being open and vulnerable, but I also place an extremely high premium on logic and thinking.

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Fake the heat and scratch the itch
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RE: Mushy Topics - 8/10/2006 3:20:52 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MySweetSubmssive

But isn't a humor a way to dodge being open? I agree that I've seen some of the men on here be very kind, showing that they have a "mushy" side, but when I invited Level to jump in the confession pool, he admitted to admiring others for doing it, but that he would pass (for the moment - heh!).

*grins*

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

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RE: Mushy Topics - 8/10/2006 3:23:24 AM

cuddleheart50

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Come on, Level, its your day to spill your guts....hehehe

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Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.

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Post #: 25

RE: Mushy Topics - 8/10/2006 3:23:56 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sleazybutterfly

I think that men are just taught, it's not the "manly" thing to do. They aren't emotionally equipped in the same way we are. They don't naturally open themselves up in the same way. Is it brain chemicals? I don't know, it could just be evolution and conditioning.

Sometimes, they need to be non-mushy, they need to be more objective, to counteract our BIG mushy times.

I think that men are just all around more private. We naturally share our lives, our feelings, our thoughts with our best girlfriend and sometimes anyone that will listen. We do this pretty much from birth. Boys just aren't raised the same way, they are taught to be strong, rough, etc... things that don't really go along with "mushy" very well.

So, even though it's with a bit of humor..I treasure those times these "manly men" open up and let us see inside.

~Andrea

Some good points, Andrea. Keep in mind, many men see being emotional as being female in some way or the other, and if they do something that falls into female territory, then that's one very large step towards homosexuality, or being considered as behaving in a homosexual way by others. This is totally wrong, of course, but most guys would rather crawl through a pit of rattlesnakes than be seen as gay, weak, or feminine.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to sleazybutterfly)

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Post #: 26

RE: Mushy Topics - 8/10/2006 3:26:41 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KenDckey

Interesting Ladies.    I believe that you have hit the nail on the head. Well close anyway.

I only saw my dad cry once.   When his dad died and his m other had a stroke (all within 7 days). Dad was a cowboy, Yes he rode a horse and punched cattle when I was small.

When I was in the Army, they pretty much took my emotions from me (starting in Basic Training).   In combat, you don't have time to have emotions.   You just have to respond instinctively. 20 years of holding back on my emotions was a pretty strong motivator.

While I was in the Army, I was on the scene of an incident on Christmas Eve where Dad had his head blown off and I had to hold his baby covered in goo (I was in Africa then). then for Christmas 1984 (Atlanta) I had to notify 4 kids and a guys wife that he had died (yes on Christmas Day).

It caused me to dislike Christmas very much and every year at Christmas I get crying spells (even Christmas Music gets to me).

I had to retrain my mind after I retired from the Military. Now

I cry anytime I hear taps
I cry for girly movies
I cry for patriotic music
I cried at Denny's because I fell down and gave my great grand daughter her first boo boo.
I cried when I fed my great grand daughter her first solid meal
I cry all the time for all the emotional things.
I cried the first time I saw each of my grandkids and great grandkids.

And yes I am Dominate and don't find a coflict between my emotions.

Great post, Ken. (Except for the misuse of "dominate" )

Crying is part of being human, and I'm grateful for it.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to KenDckey)

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Post #: 27

RE: Mushy Topics - 8/10/2006 3:28:20 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: cuddleheart50

Come on, Level, its your day to spill your guts....hehehe

LOL cuddles. Maybe some day. Hmmmm. Okay, one confession, then. For now.

*goes to the confessional*

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

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Post #: 28

RE: Mushy Topics - 8/10/2006 7:19:02 AM

cheshireboy

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I remember a time when i cried.....i was dating a girl for three years and it wasn't working out and i had to leave...and i felt so bad about it, like i failed that i called home in tears....and because i was crying...my parents thought the worse of it...that i got her pregant...and that's what they said....well, no more tears after that. It is almost like men are conditioned not to get emotional, that we have to keep the emotion under lock and key and express it in ways that doesn't make us appear "weak" by the terms that society dictates. But we still open up, just in our language...which is yes, sometimes humor, or in a way if we take an interest in someone, wanting to help them get better....its like we aren't the comforters...but the fixers....

cheshire

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RE: Mushy Topics - 8/10/2006 7:27:35 AM

LaTigresse

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It is a multitude of things. Partly machismo and testoserone and partly the conditioning raised within. Different cultures are also different in this regard.
Plus, I don't think it is all men. I am very good at making people THINK I am being open and mushy when in reality I am choosing things that I have already long dealt with and have not had the power to move me in ages. You will never catch me getting sappy about something that is really a sensitive issue in the moment.
Also, I must say that there is one dominant male that I have gained huge respect for since I first came on these threads. At first I kinda thought he was a horses hiney. After awhile I began to notice a shift in his writing, or perhaps my perception of his writing and now I admire him greatly. He expresses his emotions and pain very well.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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