|
GoddessDustyGold -> Too Much Familiarity? (12/22/2004 11:39:01 PM)
|
Since Whipenrod posted the "No Tie" post, I have elected to go ahead and ask for comments on a recent personal experience I had Myself.
I always prefer to meet an applicant in person, usually at a restaurant, for lunch or dinner and lots of quiet conversation. Emails, chats and even a phone call or two can only get one so far.
I agreed to make time for a "slave", as he identifies (hmmmm), when he was in town last month visiting family. Let it be known that this particular party has been chasing after Me for about 8 months now, but every indication is that he is not truly submissive. In fact, he is only one state away, and he had agreed to a visit some months ago and then failed to follow through. Said he got scared I wouldn't really meet him. And he did the "avoidance game" the week prior to his visit, so I was aware that he was not going to show. he is a playtime boy who wants what he wants and in his own way.
On the way to the restaurant, he got lost, but had the common sense to call the establishment, where I was waiting patiently, to get new directions. I waited an additional 45 minutes, (I was starving by then!) and he finally arrived. They led us to a banquette style booth and I took My usual place, which is the first area of the booth I hit. he seemed to expect Me to slide over so he could sit next to Me. I did not move. He finally went to the other side of the booth, and then slid all the way around until he was practically on top of me. This was a spacious banquette, and I saw no reason for this much proximity. This "slave", immediately reached for My arm, and squeezed My elbow several times, while telling Me how glad he was to finally meet Me in person. Since he was already well on his way to attempting a neck nuzzle or even a kiss, I quickly gave him a surprised look, told him his behavior was inappropriate and indicated that he should move away. He wanted to know where he should sit, so I pointed. He was not across from Me, but was now at a right angle to My position. This was entirely acceptable.
W/we ate and conversed, and I did let him know each time (and there were many) when I disapproved of the turn the conversation was taking.
Each time sexual kinks came up (his), he was quick to elaborate on how much he wanted to serve Me and how he could feel My power and My presence and that I was the one who could control him (on his terms, of course!). I gently chastized him, throughout O/our meal, for his forwardness and inability to know his place, even though he claims to have so much experience. I was also disappointed to hear him trashing other Dommes he had met, and why things could never work out between them. Although this was interesting to Me, and allowed Me to learn even more about this boy's true attitude toward the lifestyle, I also told him that discussing his perceived shortcomings of other Dommes (some he met from this site) was inappropriate. Toward the end of our meal, he asked if he could hold My hand. Again I said "No".
I honestly have never had this happen to Me before. Most applicants I meet are very respectful, and even nervous, and I always spend some time putting them at ease.
I personally do not consider these to be romatic dates. Conversation is always warm and friendly and meant to help the applicant to relax, as I cannot learn too much, if they are a complete nervous wreck the entire time. But I do ask alot of questions and I do, naturally, allow respectful questions to Me.
How do other Dommes handle first meetings? Has this happened to you? What behaviors do you allow or expect from a sub/slave applicant on a first Face To Face?
All opinions are welcome. All Dommes, Doms, male and female subs also, please do not hesitate to add your own thoughts here. I am interested to hear from anyone and everyone, on all sides of this coin.
|
|
|
|
