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RE: High Profile Careers and the Lifestyle - 8/11/2006 8:22:00 AM   
DedicatedDom40


Posts: 350
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline 		I would second the notion that alot of the group association thing is mostly an outlet for the grandstanders to grandstand....



(in reply to FelinePersuasion)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: High Profile Careers and the Lifestyle - 8/11/2006 8:29:23 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		I teach and I plan to continue to teach in universities and colleges.

The trick is to not hide what you do but also not advertise it.

Since my erotica writing and sexual book reviews do not relate to my field of ancient history, why would I put those things in my CV? Likewise, the fact that I've taught Egyptian History is not important to the publisher of my next erotica novel so who cares if he knows about it or not.

If someone I work with or teach finds out what I do in this part of my life by looking me up online or attending a BDSM event I ususally ask them "Why did you go/look there?" and they either are seriously interested or, if they thought they might get some leverage on me, they shut up really fast.

I mean really, if someone sees you at a kink event, they were there too so they have little room to talk. And exactly how blantantly open and obvious are these events folks go to anyway? Do you all hold up big signs when you go to a munch or a club that says "I'm a pervert, follow me"?

I think our fears are our worst enemies.


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(in reply to TNstepsout)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: High Profile Careers and the Lifestyle - 8/11/2006 8:29:44 AM   
raiken


Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline 		i would not be able to go public, i would loose my job, and have a hard time maintaining my reputation within the community.  i also have teenagers, and while they are privy to my private life, they wouldn't appreciate having to have their mom's name slammed all over the community.

(in reply to TNstepsout)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: High Profile Careers and the Lifestyle - 8/11/2006 8:33:24 AM   
MaleModel


Posts: 65
Joined: 6/15/2006
Status: offline 		I'm an international management consultant, and whether it's high, medium, or low-profile, I'd like to keep my preferences limited to people whom I choose.  My Mistress and g/f works at my largest client, and she feels the same.  Why have our colleagues know that, even though I'm advising the CEO of her firm, she's the boss at our house?
 
Mistress gets pretty playful at the beach, so we frequent a place where few people that we might know would go.  In that environment, I'm really not concerned about wearing a thong, being seen with it tented, or whatever else she has in mind.
 
When we want to play at a mall, we go to a town 45 minutes away.  We go to a "toy" store in this same mall, and I feel totally at ease.....Mistress recently had a C&B harness fitted there for me.......I would likely not have done that at our local toy store.
 
I guess while I'm totally comfortable being her toy, I'm not comfortable having others know that (except selected friends).
 
MM

(in reply to TNstepsout)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: High Profile Careers and the Lifestyle - 8/11/2006 8:48:10 AM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		Yes, some people are more "high profile" than others.
Like that tv newscaster for example (she was a real FOX too!)
Or the professional wrestler who owned a chain of karate schools which were advertised on tv or the businessman who was always on tv advertising his business.
They very obviously couldn't be seen at public clubs.
One of my friends knew all kinds of people in the lifestyle and had a big house with a huge playroom in the basement that could accomodate 50 people easily and it was on about 4 acres of land in a semi-country area with plenty of space to park cars in back of the house. And the house was just barely visable from the road out front. He even had a bar on the door and a peephole on it.
So there was plenty of privacy.

(in reply to MaleModel)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: High Profile Careers and the Lifestyle - 8/11/2006 10:52:54 AM   
Wildfleurs


Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout
For example I met a very nice man who is a pediatrician in a very conservative suburb of Dallas.He was reluctant to go to public dungeons and play parties for fear of exposure. Based on your experience do you think his fears are founded? Would he be taking a big risk? What way could he minimize that risk and still attend some public functions?


I'd suggest that he not give people his home phone number (if he has to, give them his cell phone number - but even then be verrrry selective about who gets it).  I wouldn't reccomend signing up to join a BDSM group, I find that they are not always very secure with people's information.  And if he plans on getting magazines and such he should get a PO Box number and use a fake name to sign up.

C~


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(in reply to TNstepsout)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: High Profile Careers and the Lifestyle - 8/11/2006 1:45:43 PM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		Yeah, same thing here for me about the career, etc. I live in city which is 2 hours from Atlanta. I’ve been to events there, but don’t think I will go to any here in my city. I’ve gotten to know many local people via the internet, though, and that doesn’t worry me.

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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: High Profile Careers and the Lifestyle - 8/11/2006 2:11:15 PM   
LovingSadist


Posts: 28
Joined: 4/26/2006
From: Denmark
Status: offline 		There seems to have gone inflation in the term “High profile careers” But I agree – e.g. police officers and school teachers have to be careful about how they are perceived.
 
Cheers
LS

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Love, protect and discipline your woman

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: High Profile Careers and the Lifestyle - 8/11/2006 2:30:03 PM   
kisshou


Posts: 2425
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline 		I was outed at the time I worked at a place that had a 'morals' clause. There were actually specific places that employees were barred from going to. I handled it by being up front, looking them in they eye and stating my sex life was none of their business. The repercussions turned out to be positive due to the fact that I handled it matter of factly.

(in reply to LovingSadist)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: High Profile Careers and the Lifestyle - 8/11/2006 2:49:54 PM   
LovingSadist


Posts: 28
Joined: 4/26/2006
From: Denmark
Status: offline 		"There were actually specific places that employees were barred from going to."
Is this legal in a free western society?
I doubt it and if it is it shouldn’t be. It reminds me of some Middle Eastern regimes.CheersLS


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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: High Profile Careers and the Lifestyle - 8/11/2006 2:54:07 PM   
behindmirrors


Posts: 340
Joined: 8/5/2006
Status: offline 		My job is high-profile within it's own community (which is a worldwide one). I keep many things about my life closed off from it- for example, my sex life and the fact that I'm a smoker. I would prefer if no one knew, and it could cost me my entire profession if I was outed. It scares me, and there was much hesitation on my part to even join this site. I did it anyway, and assume that risk and will deal with things if they come to that. By the same token, I keep my work details off this site to avoid as much as I can. The picture I put on my profile is not one where my full face is shown nor really any distinguishing features save my haircolor.
I have not attended any group meetings in my area, although I know of them. A lot of that has more to do with time to go than fear, really- I do go out to a local bondage club with some frequency- I figure I can't deny who I am and I love the music, I love to dance. Should anyone question me, I can give them that much and they can let it rest. Fortunately, it has never come to that, and most of my colleagues, etc., just accept that I'm a kind of quirky, interesting character that's a little bit "hardcore", and they leave it there. They know I am pierced, they know I'm tattooed, they know that I like my music loud and heavy...but they don't know about my sex life outside of my living with a very nice boyfriend and being in love. I'd prefer to leave it at that. I won't do this forever, and I love it for now.
I refuse to feel guilt about who I am, in short. I may not be ideal for what I do, but I'm damn good at it, and what my life is like outside of that has no effect on how well I do that job. People have been okay with that so far, and I go on with reservation, but no shame.

(in reply to kisshou)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: High Profile Careers and the Lifestyle - 8/11/2006 3:09:10 PM   
DedicatedDom40


Posts: 350
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LovingSadist

Is this legal in a free western society?
.....
It reminds me of some Middle Eastern regimes.



We have a oil-centric leader who downplays the role of 2 other branches of government and who feels that religeous beliefs compelled him to invade other countries.

Sounds like we're damn close..... if not already there.



(in reply to LovingSadist)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: High Profile Careers and the Lifestyle - 8/11/2006 4:24:40 PM   
LovingSadist


Posts: 28
Joined: 4/26/2006
From: Denmark
Status: offline 		I think it is safe to say, that religious belief is the mother of ALL wars.   Cheers LS

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Love, protect and discipline your woman

(in reply to DedicatedDom40)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: High Profile Careers and the Lifestyle - 8/11/2006 4:27:33 PM   
WhipTheHip


Posts: 1004
Joined: 7/31/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

All I can say is that I have a high-profile career (a little more high-profile than police officer or schoolteacher, I'd say), and there's no way in hell I am going to come out publicly.  People who deserve to know--they know who I am.


Rev. Falwell!!!   I have to admit, even I am a bit surprised.  Well, I'll be damned,  I never would have guessed. 

Or are you really Dick Cheney?     Or Tom Cruise?    Don't tell me you're Mel Gibson!   That would at least explain your movie, "The Passion of the Christ."  I wonder if any female top went to that movie with vibrating ben wa balls in her pussy.   Thoughk I suppose it would be embarrasing for a female climax at the movie's climax.  


I heard, a sedile, or a seat, was often attached to the cross, for the purpose of taking the man's weight off the wrists. The sedile was a simple peg or slab of wood.   I understand, a nail was pounded through the penis into the sedile, as a means of securing the guy to the seat.  Ooooooch!  I wonder why they never portray Jesus crucifixed in this manner?  

< Message edited by WhipTheHip -- 8/11/2006 5:02:30 PM >

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: High Profile Careers and the Lifestyle - 9/16/2007 10:53:39 AM   
PetTeacher


Posts: 57
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline 		 

"I am in a small area and was recently "outed".  Will it hurt my professional career probably for those folks i really don't care to treat as a therapist anyway.  Am learning more ppl are interested in the ability of the professional than their ummm perverted ideas. -Diamonddreamlove"

Same thing happen to me in 1994. Sorta left me gun shy. I worked way too hard for my professional license to risk it.  Many professionals in the medical field are seen as pillars of public trust and I KNOW how the media can put a spin on that. As far as the doctor in the peds field... I know if he was "exposed" he would not loose his job or license but would his loose a lot of his creditability thus would loose a lot of patients from concerned parents who know little to nothing about BDSM except that is what the over-the-top bad people do to hurt others.  The person that exposed me said they was going to write every pediatric hospital and my licensing boards about my BDSM involvement. I'm not sure if they did or not. I ended up not going into peds. Oh, and I was not advertising to my peers either. This person was web searching and seen a pic of me.  Of course they did not advertise that when they went to the department head. Thankfuly the department head told me, my personal life should not affect my professional life.  "sometimes we look for villains in others and there are none there"

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"The heart of another is a dark forest, always,.... no matter how close it has been to one's own.",

(in reply to diamonddreamlove)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: High Profile Careers and the Lifestyle - 9/17/2007 1:59:23 AM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		Best option is to be VERY cautious of what you put out on the net as I think that is the biggest risk (which is why I use a decapitated pic of Me!). My own career is winding down now so I am at less risk than previously, but it could still cause problems to be totally outed. However, I do tend to think that here in Oz, such a thing would be a 9-day wonder then die down ... not too many things grab interest longer than that!

However, there are private groups around where you get to know members at munches etc before ever being invited to play parties, parties are held in discreet private venues not public clubs in busy streets, and the address of the venue is never publicly advertised. Munches are pretty safe as the basic protocol is not to dress in fetish gear or talk indiscreetly, just looks like a bunch of mates having a meal or drinks together! Or depending on the age range of the group ... it can look like a large, noisy and averagely dysfunctional family! We ran such parties from Our 5 acre property at Our previous address and had few problems, especially once one "mole" was identified and dealt with. I have never been to a bdsm event where the general public can get in ... too risky!

Be careful ... but also don't let fear completely stop you living your life as you want to live it!
Maam Jay aka violet[A]


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Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to PetTeacher)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: High Profile Careers and the Lifestyle - 9/17/2007 2:38:25 AM   
nyrisa


Posts: 1830
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline 		Some folks have said, that anyone who recognizes him at such a place or event would have to also explain what THEY were doing there. I have found that being recognized while going into or leaving the place was the most likely time to be recognized by someone not into the lifestyle. Our local group meets at a gay bar, for instance, before it opens. And while folks usually don't dress in fetish wear (just a whole bunch of leather), there are often things being carried into the building for the demos. Kind of hard to disguise a St. Andrews cross.

The munches are held at local restaurants, and while no play of any kind happens there, the table conversation has been known to have a few odd turns, as people get comfortable talking together, and forget about the table around the corner. So, Joe Ordinary certainly could cause problems for a pediatrician or teacher seen at one of these events. I would say that his concerns are right on target.

_____________________________

A true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires. Robert Heinlein

The last thing I want to do is hurt you...but it is still on my list.

(in reply to TNstepsout)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: High Profile Careers and the Lifestyle - 9/17/2007 2:47:43 AM   
FullfigRIMaam


Posts: 718
Joined: 6/21/2007
Status: offline 		Yes I think his fears are reasonable/founded, and I wouldn't chance it (going to a public place to play) if I were him and wanted to keep my career...  A private home, maybe.    M

< Message edited by FullfigRIMaam -- 9/17/2007 2:48:51 AM >

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"Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence." Erich Fromm

(in reply to TNstepsout)
Profile   Post #: 38
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