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LadyHugs -> RE: Need some help in learning to be a master (8/11/2006 11:42:24 AM)
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Dear bmysub aka LordX, Ladies and Gentlemen;
Unfortunately, becoming a Top, Dominant and or Master, is not something you go through a drive-through, like McDoms or BurgerKing. If it was that easy, it would be as easy to go to subs`r`us and pick a sub off the rack.
My questions would be, if you would want to be slave to yourself. If you say no--you're spirit isn't there, just the lust for control and or power. When you would be a slave to yourself, then perhaps you might be ready. It takes a lot of responsibility, honor (keeping your word/promises), to be honest with building trust, not build trust as to screw somebody over as the ultimate goal. Master does mean having slaves labor and give you their paycheck, so you can spend foolishly and live a lavish lifestyle. It isn't about being a warden, prison guard, control freak either or, hurting people just because you can. Today's slave/submissives are valuable and they know it. They are the ones who pick their owners. You can only hope they'll pick you. Masters can only invite their interests and perhaps you'll be lucky.
May I please have you consider yourself as for public consumption. How you carry yourself, how you dress, how you speak -- is how people start forming an opinion. I highly recommend attending many support and education groups as possible, read and research. Go to dungeon parties and watch. Select a mentor or at least, talk to those who have their skills down solid.
The myth of being a Master, is having great whip and or bondage skills. Actually, it is just one aspect of being a Master. Masters wear many hats and all the associated duties with it. Masters must be relationship managers, problem solvers, protectors, medically smart at the least-first aid smart, provider and sometimes a teddybear. Much will be required of a Master. Each encounter with slaves/submissives is a learning experience. Being in the lifestyle a long while, owned many a slave--each slave taught me a lot. The worst thing a Master can do is to not see, not listen, not hear and not feel all the experiences that come across their path. The learning experiences never end, unless you die. Your duties are not just physical but, mental, emotional, spiritual as well. You can ruin someone easily and healing is extremely hard under the best of circumstances.
You're steps in asking for help is a honorable one. Everybody starts their journey one step at a time. Patience is so very necessary and comes when the time is ripe, not when your pride/ego says it is time.
In addition, you have to overcome the bias of age and the horny men who come into the community, to rape, plunder and pillage. If your intent is to become a good Master --be patient with those established in the community, as they must feel comfortable in sharing their skills with you and, respect earned. Respect is a mutual one for all that cross your path. Choose your time to be wise, around the community and away from it. Being polite and well mannered will never be a flaw of character and will serve you well, your entire life and in your learning journey.
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
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