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Tolerance to pain - 12/23/2004 7:04:01 PM

softysub

Posts: 101
Joined: 10/20/2004
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A couple of weeks ago, i had posted a question/advice on tolerance/pain, i've tried the breathing techniques and i get so upset at myself cause i seem to be stuck on a certain level of pain and i cant give more to my Dom.

I want to please Him so much, my intentions are there, i really do want to please Him, even when not long ago i was sick, but just to see Him smile and being happy, its the only reason i need to push myself.

So what else is there that i can try?

softysub

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RE: Tolerance to pain - 12/23/2004 8:42:08 PM

alwayzron

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quote:

stuck on a certain level of pain and i cant give more to my Dom ~~~ I want to please Him so much ... but just to see Him smile ~~~~ So what else is there that i can try?

ss,

Are you and your Dom communicating? How do you know that an increased tolerance for pain is what he wants? Have you talked ahead of time about expectations? And yes ... you have the right to voice your expectations as well! Maybe reaching another threshold of tolerance isn't something he wants or expects .... Also, we all have (or should have) our limits. Part of being a good sub is to know what your limits are. Granted, these limits should be flexible ... but not breakable. Maybe you're at your physical limit for pain.

Some of us are pain-puppies ... some of us are not. For me, there's nothing more delicious than the gradual increase of pain from mild (flogger) to sharper (crop) to borderline limit (cane). Of course, different parts of the body elicit different responses as well. The point is ... you don't jump right into a hot tub of water .... don't jump right into pain play. Talk with him, tell him to take you through a series of stages like I described.

Finally .... you want to make him happy. Is the desire mutual? If he doesn't have your feelings in mind as well, then you have bigger problems than just pain tolerance.

< Message edited by alwayzron -- 12/23/2004 8:43:14 PM >

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RE: Tolerance to pain - 12/23/2004 9:28:09 PM

peppermint379

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softlysub,

I find that pain is rather complicated to deal with. There are days when pain hardly bothers me at all. Then on another day, even a little bit of pain is too much. Perhaps on the latter days, the time needed to build up endorphines is not extended long enough. With the last tattoo i got, everything was fine till near the end of the third hour. Then...suddenly...no more pain could be tolerated and the session was ended. Most likely the endorphines that built up in my system were gone.

Alwayzron is right about pain being built up gradually. Breathing techniques help. Learning how to relax your body while receiving pain can also help. Relaxing is something you can learn. Lay on the floor. Tense and relax each part of your body. Then have someone lift your arm or leg. If the limb feels like dead weight, is rather floppy, you are relaxed. Practice this till you can relax at will. Years ago when i took childbirth classes, relaxation and breathing were combined to help ease the pain.

And, softlysub, just because you can't accept all the pain you feel you should accept, does not mean you aren't a good submissive. That you have done your best for your Dom should be reward enough for both of you.

pepper

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RE: Tolerance to pain - 12/24/2004 12:51:42 AM

sterlingsweet

Posts: 180
Joined: 8/10/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: softysub

A couple of weeks ago, i had posted a question/advice on tolerance/pain, i've tried the breathing techniques and i get so upset at myself cause i seem to be stuck on a certain level of pain and i cant give more to my Dom.

Hello softysub,

Maybe you have reached a plateau for right now.
But that does not mean you are stuck... some day in the future
you may be able to go further. I think if you allow yourself to be where you are at for a while and your Dom is okay with that, it might allow you to eventually relax and go further and Like it!
Good Luck!

_____________________________

Who Let the Dommes Out?? (I'd like to Thank them).
~Wink

Peace Out...Sterlingsweet

I finally got my cuffs,
I hope to use them soon ~wink

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RE: Tolerance to pain - 12/24/2004 6:39:24 AM

softysub

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hi alwayzron

W/we do communicate and more after a session, i explain what i like and didnt like. He is very good in understanding my feelings, but He loves to give pain and pleasure too and for me, i want to give more of me cause i know deep down i can since i've done it before.

I want to thank you for your advice as to building the pain with flogger, crop and cane. I admit i can take more this way.

As for me making Him happy, its a mutual feeling that i know for sure as He tells me often that He wants me to be happy.

Merry Xmas and Happy New Year :)

softysub

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RE: Tolerance to pain - 12/24/2004 6:40:28 AM

softysub

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Thank You all for the great advices and have Y/yourself a Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year.

softysub

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