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question..... - 12/24/2004 5:12:35 PM

nurruu

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Joined: 12/14/2004
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I apologize ahead of time for this being a "stupid" question.....
Is BDSM all about "play"?? Meaning....when I think of myself...I do not consider it play...like I don't picture being in a "scene"....I think of being sub all the time etc....
I hope this question made sense......

nurruu

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RE: question..... - 12/24/2004 5:32:36 PM

topcat

Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
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Midear Nurruu-

BDSM is about whatever one wants it to be about- which is one of the reasons I dislike the term- it covers so much ground that it gets us nowhere<g>. For that matter, I dislike the word 'play', prefering to refer to a serious scene as 'work' (though it should be noted that I rarely get paid for it!).

It sounds to me that you are a little more 'D/S' oriented than B&D or SM- which is fine- everyone in the scene is really their own scene, and we just spend a lot of time looking for someone that overlaps us well enough.

Is it all about play? No. but it is the most fun to talk about<g>.

Stay warm,
Lawrence
PS- stop apologising for asking questions!

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RE: question..... - 12/24/2004 5:57:19 PM

nurruu

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Thanks.......yes I am more D/S oriented :)

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RE: question..... - 12/24/2004 9:09:36 PM

MistressFire70

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From: North Carolina
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A kinky BDSM relationship is what you make it, just like vanilla relationships. In those, you might have people that you go out with, but don't really know, friends that you'd give you life for, fuck buddies or loved ones. The same is true for BDSM.

To me, "play" is something I do at parties or with bottoms where I really don't expect much in return except the fun of the scene. I do it just because it's fun. A relationship is something totally different. I expect different things from each.

The "S" in BDSM doesn't stand for sex, at least to me. I don't have sex with my bottoms and submissives, even with my collared submissive.

Fire

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RE: question..... - 12/24/2004 10:03:50 PM

MistressDREAD

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OooOoOOOoooowww TopCat

I like it when You give Orders!

quote:

Lawrence
PS- stop apologising for asking questions!

Welcome nurruu
read ...read ...read... and you will find so many answers to your simple question it will have you asking so many other questions till the next thing you know you will be an expert!

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RE: question..... - 12/25/2004 6:47:35 AM

nurruu

Posts: 15
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Thanks for your responses.....

MistressFire or anyone....then why does it seem that everyone wants just a sexual interaction?? I beleive that my submissiveness means a lot more than that. Thanks Mistress Dread...I have been reading and reading and reading lol

Merry Christmas

nurruu

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RE: question..... - 12/25/2004 7:16:50 AM

MstrssPassion

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From: West Palm Beach, FL
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BDSM is the physical & sometimes mental/emotional interaction between consenting partners. Play, session, stage, etc are terms often used to describe the scene. BDSM covers a plethora of activities. This activity requires a top & a bottom.

I think what you are refering to is a D/s relationship. This is not play. Dominance & submission is a constant state of mind unlike that of the top or bottom which assume their role for "BDSM play". D/s does not require BDSM. It is about the power exchange between the partners.

Is this what you had in mind?

MstrssPassion

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RE: question..... - 12/25/2004 7:23:19 AM

nurruu

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Mistress Passion,

Yes.....thank you :)) Sometimes, I have been confused by some of the terms people use...I don't consider a D/S relationship play and was getting confused :)) Thank you.

nurruu

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RE: question..... - 12/25/2004 7:35:14 AM

MizSuz

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quote:

ORIGINAL: nurruu

I apologize ahead of time for this being a "stupid" question.....
Is BDSM all about "play"?? Meaning....when I think of myself...I do not consider it play...like I don't picture being in a "scene"....I think of being sub all the time etc....
I hope this question made sense......

nurruu

You get to decide what your definitions are. It's probably my favorite part of the 'scene' and often the most vexing. The first quest is to understand what YOUR definitions are for YOU; the second (or sometimes third, fourth, etc) is to find someone who has complementary definitions.

I agree that it sounds like you refer to D/s more than S/m, but that's because I'm using my own definitions to determine that. In the final analysis your reality is up to you.

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

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RE: question..... - 12/25/2004 7:38:50 AM

nurruu

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D/S is not a scene...right?? Unless to consenting partners make it that way temporarily?

nurruu

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RE: question..... - 12/25/2004 8:20:31 AM

slavedesires

Posts: 669
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OooOoOOOoooowww TopCat

I like it when You give Orders!

as so i Mistress Dread

i am sure Master would not mind if i asked that Topcat would order me to my knees.
am waiting for the time when a Mistress is allowed to do the same.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

good question nurruu!

will follow this thread too for so many do not understand the diff, many doms who contact me do not understand either.

shy

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RE: question..... - 12/25/2004 9:09:01 AM

MizSuz

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quote:

ORIGINAL: nurruu

D/S is not a scene...right?? Unless to consenting partners make it that way temporarily?

nurruu

Some people refer to "the" scene as the lifestyle or perhaps just the "public" part of their activities. Others refer to "a" scene as the time they come together to "play," "work," "submit," "dominate" etc. So "scene" could be used to describe all or a portion of your lifestyle as well as refer to the time you spend doing it.

It's a personal thing. I know people who are into only D/s and they refer to the time they spend doing it as 'the scene' or 'a scene.' Others say "I've been into the scene for x number of years" and they are obviously referring to how long they have been "doing it" or "thinking about it."

If someone comes to my home or studio and when they are with me they only clean and do similar tasks for me it could still be considered "a scene" although I would think of it as "a service." Whether or not I let them worship my feet at the conclusion of their service is between them and me; just as what we decide to call it is between us.

Have I answered your question or confused things further?

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

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RE: question..... - 12/25/2004 9:40:26 AM

nurruu

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I think I understand.....just when meeting people one has to ensure they are on the same page.......because of the different terminolgy.

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RE: question..... - 12/25/2004 11:27:08 AM

MizSuz

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quote:

ORIGINAL: nurruu

I think I understand.....just when meeting people one has to ensure they are on the same page.......because of the different terminolgy.

Bingo! As I said, this can be the most fun (discovering each other's definitions) and can be the most vexing. I've found that patience helps the process along.

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

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