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Emperor1956 -> RE: Agony (8/14/2006 10:43:24 PM)
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I find no beauty in "agony". Cynically, julia, perhaps we revel in the sad movie, the tragic tale and the sad song because it ISN'T US. Someone else's lover is dying, someone else's father is riddled with cancer, someone else's child is shot on the sidewalk...it is schadenfreude taken to the extreme.
In contrast, ownedgirlie's story of her father's death is not one of agony, but one of love and redemption through shared celebration of a life (sigh..I almost sound Xian....ah well, strange bedfellows). Your echo of her post, talking about beauty in grief, is in fact not to Me at all accurate -- the beauty is in the joy her family could take while recognizing his life and celebrating it. That IS beauty, but it comes not from the dark of pain, but the light of love and celebration. When her family holds hands and sings their father's/husband's/friend's favorite song, they hold the agony at bay, they do not glorify it at all, and maybe, just maybe, they keep it out of the dark night corners of the minds of those who live on...for a while.
Now I'm not that cynical, but I am grieving for two very different men who were deeply important to Me, and neither of them died a "good" or noble death. My brother died just under two years ago of an uncontrolled gastric bleed. He just fell down one day and bled to death, in the finest hospital in Chicago with 20 million dollars and 30 doctors basically standing there. He just bled out. He was 46, deeply in love with a wonderful man who held him in the hospital bed while his life slipped away. I'm not bitter about how he died (I realize it may seem that way) but the agony of my mother losing her youngest son and of my daughter losing her uncle has nothing lovely or nice about it.
My friend Robert was murdered 12 days ago. He was 32, married for just 3 years to my best friend, both of whom had started wonderful new careers within the past 2 months. He was knifed in his sleep while staying at a friend's house in Embassy Row in Washington DC. No signs of forced entry, no signs of violence except the stabbing, and right now no one knows what happened.
Both of these deaths have caused my family and me agony, julia, and let me tell you, a bad death of a young man with everything to live for is a raw, ugly, cruel and nasty agony, with nothing floral or lovely about it. With all respect to you and Sinergy, there is nothing "good" about agony. We face it as part of our condition, and we try to piece something together. But I won't let the Demon have a moment of peace by saying "well, some good comes of it".
E.
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