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RE: Question re ideas, requests from bottoms - 1/9/2005 8:56:10 AM

pandoravampire

Posts: 374
Joined: 12/6/2004
Status: offline

I would consider a request for something from my Dom as that, a request. Its made because i want/need it. Just like me, he is then able to decide if he grants my request and when. If its a want, then its up to him. If its a need, then i expect that need to be met.

I am only in the D/s scenario for what i need/want. I only give my submission, because I need/want dominating. I respectfully suggest so is every other submissive or slave? Just like the Dom, im here for ME. for both sides of the dynamic, its me me me isnt it?

without a sub and their needs, there is no dominating to be done! Do not delude yourself.

How do i get what i want? i ask. That goes for everything in my life, D/s is no different. No partner is a mind reader.

But then im a switch too, maybe that is why i feel i have the right to own my needs and make damn sure they are attended to - respectfully of course.

Topping from the bottom is construde as a negative. I believe this is a negative force too. If your having to top from the bottom, its generally because your needs are not being met, and you dont get more negative than that in my book.

(in reply to MsCameron)

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Post #: 21

RE: Question re ideas, requests from bottoms - 1/9/2005 9:42:02 AM

liljoy

Posts: 577
Joined: 3/25/2004
Status: offline

If there is something that is very important to me, i am expected to let Master know. He will consider it an usually in time He will grant it to me.
i'll give you an example i've not learned to enjoy spankings. They feel like punishments to me. Master likes to spank me sowe do it for His pleasure. What i learned before we got together that i DO like is needle play. That was something that He had little interest in. In fact anything that might cause bleeding He didn't want to have anything to do with.
Howeer because this is a relationship. We discussed why i like needle play better than spankings. After many, many talks about it He said "If you find me someone that can teach me to do it safely, I'll give it a try.
Heh well i quickly and happily did find a Wonderful Domme a couple hours away. She agreed to gie Master a leason. We set up a date and time. On the set day lol i was so excited and silly. I woke Him doing my lil happy dance and kinda singing it's pin cusion day!!!!
OMG remembering that day has tears springing up in my eyes. It was such a special day and not just for me, for Him too!
He found that He likes it too. Well that and He likes the happy dancing lil giggle box i turn into anytime He says pin cusion

(in reply to pandoravampire)

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Post #: 22

RE: Question re ideas, requests from bottoms - 1/9/2005 12:31:30 PM

domtimothy46176

Posts: 670
Joined: 12/25/2004
From: Dayton, Ohio area
Status: offline

I encourage my girl to share her desires with me in many ways. I've told her that I much prefer her to ask for what she wants than act out in an attempt to get it. We spend long hours sharing thoughts and opinions. I've trained her to understand that I mean it when I tell her that her point of view is not only welcome be required.

I don't just go to all this trouble because I want her to be happy, although I do, in fact, find a happy submissive to be a more compliant submissive. I don't solicit her thoughts and opinions just because I want her to feel valued, although I do work very hard to make her understand that I consider her a valuable part of my household as a means of inducing a proactive approach to managing her health. I also have a self-serving motive for encouraging her to open up and share her wants, desires, thoughts and opinions.

It makes it easier for me to get what I want if I know what buttons to push, which carrots to dangle, which sticks to brandish threateningly. IOW, the more I know the better I can tailor my dominance to her specifically. That knowledge is most assuredly beneficial to both of us for all of the above reasons.

I began our relationship with the understanding that it was my responsibility to create an atmosphere that inspired a sufficient degree of trust that my girl would learn to feel comfortable enough to share her innermost thoughts and desires. To date it has been an expenditure of energy that has yielded invaluable dividends. I would hope that anyone considering a relationship would understand how rewarding good communication can be for both parties.

Timothy

(in reply to liljoy)

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Post #: 23

RE: Question re ideas, requests from bottoms - 1/9/2005 12:38:06 PM

CTclay

Posts: 123
Joined: 11/6/2004
Status: offline

quote:

HA! I've just spent the last few minutes reading your posts. You are indeed interesting and more than a little entertaining.

Ya know, I don't think I even own a ball gag....

of course this is where it might be best for me not to mention the bit gags, ring gags, inflatable gags, penis gags and dental gags.

But then, I've never been good with knowing when to shut up, either.

Why, thank-You for that sweet compliment, MizSuz!

(Sorry it took me so long to reply, I couldn't find this thread, and then I figured it was deleted.)

(in reply to MizSuz)

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Post #: 24