WhiteRadiance
Posts: 247
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
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Had to share this..
SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
> Juan on Juan
What is a Yankee?
>The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
What is the difference between a Harley and a
Hoover?
> The position of the dirt bag
Why is divorce so expensive?
> Because it's worth it.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends
over?
> Doughnuts
Why is air a lot like sex?
> Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting
any
What do you call a smart blonde?
> A golden retriever.
What do attorneys use for birth control?
> Their personalities.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
> 45 lbs
What's the difference between a boyfriend and
husband?
> 45 minutes
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
> Through his chest with a sharp knife.
Why do men want to marry virgins?
> They can't stand criticism.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are
sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
> Because those men already have boyfriends.
What's the difference between a new husband and a
new dog?
> After a year, the dog is still excited to see you
What makes men chase women they have no intention of
marrying?
> The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have
no intention of driving.
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
> Because they have cotton balls.
What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
> A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was
pregnant?
> "Are you sure it's mine?"
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
> Mace will do that to you.
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
> Everyone has the same DNA.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
> Breasts don't have eyes.
Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
> He walks around saying "Yo."
Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools
use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
> Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class
uses it.
Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
> A different bar.
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a
retarded baby?
> They named him "Sum Ting Wong
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm
shorter than the other?
> A speech impediment.
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office
is flying at half-mast?
> They're hiring.
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a
northern zoo?
> A southern zoo has a description of the animal on
the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to
say the F word?
> Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell
*BINGO*!
What's the difference between a northern fairytale
and a southern fairytale?
> A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A
southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe
this shit..."
Why is there no Disneyland in China?
> No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.
_____________________________
Staci
The drop of rain makes a hole in a stone not by violence, but by often falling.
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Those who are overly-sensitive should NOT read.. - 
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