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Manners - 8/16/2006 9:03:32 AM

withthesewings

Posts: 29
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline

Shouldn't manners towards people apply no matter what your chosen lifestyle? Be it Vanilla or other? A recent message from a nameless "Dom" has given me reason to ponder and post this subject.

The message was very direct. He did not initially tell me about himself, nor even ask one question about myself. He said he "read" my profile (which I've come expect is alot of times doubtful) and he then launched into what kind of "Dom" he is and what kind of submissive he seeks and what would be "expected" of me. He proclaimed I would be his "slut". His "cum-deposit"...blah, blah, blah...and how "worthless I would be".

Well, my question is this: Don't you think perhaps this was rude? Out of line? I mean, if you seek to meet and forge a mutual meaningful and fullfilling relationship with someone, wouldn't you approach it the same way as you would in the Vanilla world? I mean, you meet, introduce..get to know the person, what they are like...just like you normally would. Would this guy go up to a woman in a normal setting and spew that sh*t? I tell you if it were me, I'd tell him promptly to go f*ck himself. I mean, shouldn't the same manners apply, don't ya think?

I'm a submissive, sure...but not his, and he doesn't know me. I'm still a lady. A woman and deserve manners and respect. We all do.

Any thoughts on this?

xoxox

Post #: 1

RE: Manners - 8/16/2006 9:05:32 AM

CrappyDom

Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

Be thankful he exposed himself so clearly.

(in reply to withthesewings)

Post #: 2

RE: Manners - 8/16/2006 9:06:37 AM

JessieMe

Posts: 510
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline

I too consider these kinds of emails rude however, I also see the amusement factor in them. If my mindset is right, I may even respond with something equally long about myself going way to the other side of the spectrum (true or not).. the best part is when they respond back as if you indicated you thought they were compatible and are interested..

Sometimes they make a nice diversion LOL

_____________________________

This is who I am
And this is all I know.
That I must choose to live for all that I can give
The spark that makes the Power grow
<Immortality by Celine Dion>

(in reply to withthesewings)

Post #: 3

RE: Manners - 8/16/2006 9:06:45 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

What Crappy said!

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to CrappyDom)

Post #: 4

RE: Manners - 8/16/2006 9:09:11 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

Those sort of emails are delicious. You can delete them with no regard to wether or not it is bad manners to not reply.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 5

RE: Manners - 8/16/2006 9:12:21 AM

raiken

Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline

What Crappy said...and then some!

It all depends on what level of fantasy verses reality this Dom happens to frequent. If he wants a sub that enjoys being made to feel worthless, and YOU are not it, then you get to make the choice to either respond and decline, not respond and simply delete, or go for it. Just goes full circle back to what Crappy said! *smile

(in reply to withthesewings)

Post #: 6

RE: Manners - 8/16/2006 9:13:36 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

You're online.

Never expect other people to share the same values and manners as you do.

Be happily surprised when they do.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to raiken)

Post #: 7

RE: Manners - 8/16/2006 9:14:46 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Ja, I have also seen profiles that they want you to wank on about all the things you are going to do to them or You will be deleted.

I see em with My Mentor will sort your shit out, if you pass the test......

you have a vowel problem instead of some of the vowels you get *.....

LOL,
it's all over the map out here, what you find rude is demanded by another, just let it go by you unnoticed like so many things in life.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to withthesewings)

Post #: 8

RE: Manners - 8/16/2006 9:15:26 AM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

Bad manners happen - you just have to realise that not everyone holds the same morals or manners as you.

If you meet someone who has - embrass it and be happy. If not, ignore and move on.

Peace and Rapture

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to withthesewings)

Post #: 9

RE: Manners - 8/16/2006 9:15:33 AM

slve2MastersWill

Posts: 38
Joined: 8/8/2006
Status: offline

The way I see it he was open and honest on what he is seeking. Yes he doesn't know you, but this is his way of introducing himself. my reply to such email would have been.. sorry Sir, but that is something I do not seek in a Master.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 10

RE: Manners - 8/16/2006 9:17:23 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I do not consider this rude bcause of the type of site we are on, another person will read that email and say "Aha! Someone to dehumanize me the way I have always dreamed of! I am in love!" It is not probably a really successful come on, but it isn't a rude one, because in my mind you have semi-consented to getting emails trying to discern whether you would be suitable to someone, and his suitable match would like that email.

There are emails that are rude though. Something like.. "It is a good thing you are collared bitch, you have been beaten with an ugly stick" comes to mind, or something like "You are a sick bitch calling someone Daddy, you and women like you are the reason children get harmed by freaks like your dom" ( I have gotten these emails from people that are obviously clueless of what a daddy dom can be, and it has nothing to do with age play). These sorts block you from replying back, which is rude too.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to withthesewings)

Post #: 11

RE: Manners - 8/16/2006 9:17:34 AM

Bearlee

Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline

Welcome to the world of 'online dating'... You'll find those messages far outnumber the more realistic ones. It never ceases to amaze me what some people must be thinking! LOL Just shake your head and hit the delete button...don't take it at all personally. There are nuts out there!

beverly

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 12

RE: Manners - 8/16/2006 9:19:16 AM

withthesewings

Posts: 29
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline

I had all sorts of amusement thought up as of a reply, but then just settled on ignoring it and deleting it.

Thanks for the opinions. :)

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 13

RE: Manners - 8/16/2006 9:20:23 AM

PlayfulOne

Posts: 1047
Status: offline

Ditto Crappy

IMO people who behave that way or not ones you want to be around. Some poeple enjoy being called worthless and humiliated, but I do think that is something you should find out before one starts humiliating.

Everything comes full circle, I've been told I mist be weak and not much of a Dom, because I didn't speak to someone in that manner and was nice.

Takes all kinds, just delete those that aren't your cup of tea and move on.

K

edited to add
after reading Julias post I pretty much agree with her. It is like the old adage about just walking up and asking women if they would like to fuck, your gonna get slapped a lot but one of them is going to say yes. Keep sending that email out and one of these times someone is goign to say, "Oh goodie someone to treat me like crap", without the dnager of actually getting slapped.

< Message edited by PlayfulOne -- 8/16/2006 9:27:51 AM >

(in reply to raiken)

Post #: 14

RE: Manners - 8/16/2006 9:22:59 AM

withthesewings

Posts: 29
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
There are emails that are rude though. Something like.. "It is a good thing you are collared bitch, you have been beaten with an ugly stick" comes to mind, or something like "You are a sick bitch calling someone Daddy, you and women like you are the reason children get harmed by freaks like your dom" ( I have gotten these emails from people that are obviously clueless of what a daddy dom can be, and it has nothing to do with age play). These sorts block you from replying back, which is rude too.

*LOL* Good Lord! You have? That's terrible.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 15

RE: Manners - 8/16/2006 9:23:21 AM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

It was rude and out of line and show's what an asshole he is. When making first contact regardless if your are Dom or sub, you should always strive to be polite, positive and sincere.

If he wants someone thats worthless, I feel all he has to do is look into a mirror. I don't know any worthless subs, all the subs I've known personally were worthwhile wonderful human beings.

I wouldn't honor him with a reply as HE isn't worth it.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to withthesewings)

Post #: 16

RE: Manners - 8/16/2006 9:23:29 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Dammit!!!!

I wrote all that to you 'cause I thought you got off on it!! Now, you come out here and expose my best shit to the great unwashed masses........

Talk about betrayal.................(sob)

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 17

RE: Manners - 8/16/2006 9:25:29 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Dammit!!!!

I wrote all that to you 'cause I thought you got off on it!! Now, you come out here and expose my best shit to the great unwashed masses........

Talk about betrayal.................(sob)

Ron

OMG..............I should not have THIS much fun goofing off at work!!

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 18

RE: Manners - 8/16/2006 9:29:36 AM

withthesewings

Posts: 29
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee

Welcome to the world of 'online dating'... You'll find those messages far outnumber the more realistic ones. It never ceases to amaze me what some people must be thinking! LOL Just shake your head and hit the delete button...don't take it at all personally. There are nuts out there!

beverly

Interesting that you would use the choice "online dating". Would you consider that *this* is what that is? If so..than Yea, I would think the same kind of manners should be expected.

(in reply to Bearlee)

Post #: 19

RE: Manners - 8/16/2006 9:30:58 AM

withthesewings

Posts: 29
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Dammit!!!!

I wrote all that to you 'cause I thought you got off on it!! Now, you come out here and expose my best shit to the great unwashed masses........

Talk about betrayal.................(sob)

Ron

*ROFLMAO*

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 20

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