"Not a boy friend" (Full Version)

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iwillserveu -> "Not a boy friend" (12/27/2004 11:33:54 AM)

I have noticed a new trend among Domina profiles. The call for “money slaves” has been replaced by the call for a household slave who is “not a boy friend”.

You mean I can be your butler and never get paid!:) Where do I sign up?

On second thought, where can I get one? Wanted: gay male who thinks I am attractive. Will do all household chores with no hope of every being my “boyfriend”.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m sure that those Dominas still get many replies a day. I’m sure that some of the replies are worthwhile too. I’m glad they are honest enough for me to not waste my time writing a reply.



RealityFix -> RE: "Not a boy friend" (12/27/2004 11:42:31 AM)

To each thier own.

I see it as women seeking service over sex.

So what is your REAL point here?

That you seek sex? And consider it an affront that these women want a bit MORE than that?



sarbonn -> RE: "Not a boy friend" (12/27/2004 11:44:52 AM)

Actually, those ads I don't have a real problem with, and in somewhat of a way, they are advertising closer to what I seek anyway. Sure, it would be great to be a domme's boyfriend, but if it's one of those things that might develop someday, that's fine. If it's not going to happen going into the relationship, as long as I know about it I'm fine.

I get great pleasure out of being a service submissive, doing what she needs done to please her. There is STILL a sense of sensuality between us in such a relationship.

It is when I'm told upfront that there's no sexual tension whatsoever (that she just wants someone to come over and clean and then get out) that I decide it's not for me. I actually had a woman contact me once (and negotiate a contract with me) before she realized she was going to be doing her "play" with a doctor friend of hers, that I would be her slave in name only, cleaning her house UNDER THE SUPERVISION of her senior male slave. Talk about the quickest end to a negotiation in history.

There is another way this works for someone like me, and that is in a relationship where the woman is involved with another woman, but wants a houseboy for the two of them. Usually this means a controlled relationship, and very rarely does it mean sex or boyfriend status. I'm fine with that. There's a couple that's online that I've thought of contacting recently (but just can't build up the nerve) that wants exactly that. I'm fine with that.

The one thing that keeps me away from responding is whenever I hear something along the lines of "I need a slave to clean my house, but he will not be my boyfriend because I already have a boyfriend, and he takes care of me in that way." That might be fine for others, but I usually just look at that with an icky feeling and think, "well, have your boyfriend clean your apartment then." But that's just me.

It's when they say they want a slave to do their housework but no sexual (not meaning the SEX act itself) interaction, such as sensuality, or something that reminds me of why I'm doing this for a woman rather than some guy or myself, then I tend to avoid contact.



LadyShoshin -> RE: "Not a boy friend" (12/27/2004 12:05:35 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillserveu

I have noticed a new trend among Domina profiles. The call for “money slaves” has been replaced by the call for a household slave who is “not a boy friend”.

You mean I can be your butler and never get paid!:) Where do I sign up?

On second thought, where can I get one? Wanted: gay male who thinks I am attractive. Will do all household chores with no hope of every being my “boyfriend”.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m sure that those Dominas still get many replies a day. I’m sure that some of the replies are worthwhile too. I’m glad they are honest enough for me to not waste my time writing a reply.


I have 2 types of submissives, those who want to do whatever it takes to please me and make my life more enjoyable, housekeeping, massages, pedicures, manicures, sometimes even sexual gratification at my whim. Do I have them do this & then send them home? No, unless they have been whiney and made excuses for things like being late or not doing their tasks properly. This is an exchange, for foot worshippers, my allowing them to worship my feet is a fulfillment of their fantasies, for those who love OTK, they get it, not as punishment, but as reward. I praise them and tell them how proud I am of them. It is an exchange.

I also have subs who don't give a damn about pleasing or serving me except as part of their fantasy fulfillment. They won't do housework or any other type of personal service for me. Those pay for my time and my meeting their role play requirements (no sex), thus it is also an exchange, they make my life better by contributing to my being able to pay bills.

So do I want a free maid service, well it would be nice, but no one would stay unless they were getting a need fulfilled. My subs know their wellbeing is my concern, that I care for them and try to be creative in what I plan for their time with me.

Go ahead and dis' me if you will, but get the real facts before you make assumptions.



GoddessJules -> RE: "Not a boy friend" (12/27/2004 12:11:53 PM)

quote:

I’m sure that those Dominas still get many replies a day. I’m sure that some of the replies are worthwhile too.


You are absolutely correct. I get many replies a day and several of them are worthwhile. When I lived in Atlanta full time, I had a houseboy that came and cleaned. . .and that was it. He even had the key to my place so he would clean while I was gone or when I was asleep. He didn't want humiliation, corporal punishment, or any of that BDSM-y stuff. He just wanted to clean my house. It worked out great. Low maintenance and high return.



iwillserveu -> RE: "Not a boy friend" (12/28/2004 2:17:59 AM)

The point is, while I applaud the honesty I'd like to be paid a wage for my work. It does not have to be sex, sex, sex. Like Lady Soshin said she should decide what and how often, but if I have a foot fetish I should expect to worship her feet. If I have a desire for some emotional tie, I should expect them. If I'm here do I have a desire to be tied up sometime? Maybe I'm a fool, but expecting something, anything, seems logical.

I agree that some guys just have a fetish for mops and brooms, but I bet they are far and few between. (GoddessJules, give him at least a Christmas present. He's worth isotoner gloves.[:)])

Sarbonn, you really want nothing?



alwayzron -> RE: "Not a boy friend" (12/28/2004 6:05:38 AM)

quote:

I get great pleasure out of being a service submissive, doing what she needs done to please her. There is STILL a sense of sensuality between us in such a relationship.

Hmmmm ... I couldn't have said it better. If my Lady provides me with release for a job well done ... then that's icing on the cake. If not ... then that's okay too. I ride the sexual tension that developes from being (usually) naked and doing service work for a Domme. The only requirement that I make .... and this is a sub's right ... is that she be as respectful of my humanity and dignity as I am of hers. I'll do anything for her as long as I know she's not taking advantage of my servitude --- although some subs enjoy humiliation ... I'm not one of them. It's too damaging to the self-esteem.



sarbonn -> RE: "Not a boy friend" (12/28/2004 6:13:20 AM)

quote:

Sarbonn, you really want nothing?


Carmel-covered ice cream is nice every now and then.



GoddessJules -> RE: "Not a boy friend" (12/28/2004 6:39:34 AM)

quote:

I agree that some guys just have a fetish for mops and brooms, but I bet they are far and few between. (GoddessJules, give him at least a Christmas present. He's worth isotoner gloves. )


For Christmas, I threw Cheerios all over the kitchen floor for him to clean. I think he got a serious woody when he saw a WHOLE box of Cheerios just strewn all over the floor. Who says I'm not generous?

Jules



MistressDREAD -> RE: "Not a boy friend" (12/29/2004 12:09:59 AM)

quote:

The point is, while I applaud the honesty I'd like to be paid a wage for my work


The point is this is not a vanilla world of girlfreind boyfreind or work for pay iwill
This is the world of Alternate Living and as such things just dont work in the normal
way as you would like it and since when is a fetish or a pleasure work? [[[[[rolls My eyes
wondering about iwill sometimes and thinks the name iwillnot would fit more appropreatly.JMO]]]]



MistressDREAD -> RE: "Not a boy friend" (12/29/2004 12:12:06 AM)

I love Carmel-covered ice cream.
I like Carmel-covered ice cream
licked off My feet too......


That was a GREAT present Jules!!



BlkTallFullfig -> RE: "Not a boy friend" (12/29/2004 2:19:16 PM)

I'll have you know that this is precisely how I first became interested in D/s or BDSM lifestyle; I would chat in yahoo rooms regularly, and very well mannered boys/men would propose to come over and do whatever dirty deed I needed (be my slave) without expectation of sex...
At first I thought they were weirdos, than I though, "hey, isn't this what you've always wanted"? A man who'll crawl for you when you say, and do as you say?... The rest is history!
Ms M



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