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Dear Kotex - 8/16/2006 8:01:23 PM

LotusSong

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Dear Kotex,

I recently noticed that the peel-off strip of my pantiliner had a bunch of "Kotex Tips for Life" on it. Annoying advice such as:

Staying active during your period can relieve cramps.

Avoiding caffeine may help reduce cramps and headaches.

Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day to keep you hydrated and feeling fresh.

Try Kotex blah blah blah other products...

Obviously the individual behind this was someone who has never possessed a functioning set of ovaries. Go ahead and tell a menstruating woman that drinking 6-8 glasses of water will help keep her feeling fresh. Like we need more fluid inside our bloated bodies from hell...but go ahead...I triple-dog-friggen-dare-ya... See what happens and report back. I'll wait.

While you're at it, dump out the coffee at work and remove the chocolate from the vending machine. I garan-damn-tee you that the first responders will be females who just ovulated. Staying active will relieve headaches & cramps...well guess what, the only activities that interest me is eating..sleeping..bitching or crying for no apparent reason.. ...and oh...does ripping someone's head off count as a friggen' activity?????

Look, females don't need or want tips for living on their feminine hygiene products. Younger girls are already hearing "helpful" crap like that from elderly relatives. Veteran females have already concocted their own recipes for survival, many containing alcohol & barbituates.

Printing out crap advice while sneaking in ads for the brand that was already purchased is just plain annoying, not to mention rude, and is enough to send a girl running to the Always brand.

It's not a fun time, but DO NOT try to cheer us up by adding smiley faces or bunnies or flowery cutesy crap to your products or the packaging. Put the crap in a plain brown wrapper so we can throw it in our carts discreetly and have it blend in among the wine and beer.

There is nothing more annoying than having a blinding pink package announcing your uterine state to everyone in the store. Why don't ya just add an in-store microphone to the damn package & announce that...helloooo, another female in the store is on the rag!!!!!

So take your tips for living and your cute bunnies & the smiley faces and shove them right up your ass!

P.S. How about adding a free sample of Pamprin & maybe a shot of Bourbon to your packages instead?

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RE: Dear Kotex - 8/16/2006 8:19:33 PM

MarksFantasyGirl

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LMAO!! I think we all feel like that about once a month.... a few do sooner than that, and a few fotunate ones get to feel taht either once every couple of months, or not at all (to those people, i say go to hell... go to hell and you die! lol oh.. sorry... wrong thread! lol)

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RE: Dear Kotex - 8/16/2006 11:32:30 PM

Saratov

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I have some female friends that 'just have to' see that!

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RE: Dear Kotex - 8/17/2006 4:53:41 AM

twicehappy

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If you think those helpful tips bother you......

As everybody knows i race motorcycles; what do you think most motorcycle racers wear in their helmets to keep the sweat out of their eyes? Kotex pantyliners of course!

Think about this, 30 or 40 guys are lining up at the starting line, they pull their panty liners from the embarrassing pink wrappers and prepare to peel the sticky strip(this is why we use them, they sticks inside your helmet very well, some of the guys who also wear glasses under their goggles buy the pantyliners for thongs to keep their glasses from sliding down their noses)and get tips on cramps and keeping that fresh feeling.

Worse yet; they go home and share these tips with their wives....

Strange but true facts.

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RE: Dear Kotex - 8/17/2006 5:07:10 AM

mistoferin

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I always thought that a great marketing ploy would be to include free Hershey bars in the package. I know that would certainly be effective in persuading me to purchase their product over another brand.

I agree with you about the stupid packaging. And those ads on tv....ugh!!! Wings? Women rubbing wet Kotex on their suits in the grocery store to see if they really do have a lock tight dry weave covering? And the douche ads....omg.....skipping through a field of flowers??????? Now that doesn't even seem like smart advertising....if you skip through the flowers and trigger your hayfever...how are you going to know if you're not smelling quite so fresh?

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RE: Dear Kotex - 8/17/2006 7:37:13 AM

LotusSong

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quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappy

If you think those helpful tips bother you......

As everybody knows i race motorcycles; what do you think most motorcycle racers wear in their helmets to keep the sweat out of their eyes? Kotex pantyliners of course!

I'll never look at Ricky-Bobby the same again :)

The old pads didn't have the sticky strip. My brother would use those to buff the wax off his car.

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RE: Dear Kotex - 8/17/2006 7:50:39 AM

twicehappy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappy

If you think those helpful tips bother you......

As everybody knows i race motorcycles; what do you think most motorcycle racers wear in their helmets to keep the sweat out of their eyes? Kotex pantyliners of course!

I'll never look at Ricky-Bobby the same again :)
The old pads didn't have the sticky strip. My brother would use those to buff the wax off his car.

I do not know if people who race cars do this or not; i know for sure most dirt bike racers/riders do.

I have some where a great picture of me and another girl with 17 guys in line at Walmart all buying panty liners at rhe start of a new Harescramble season. Maybe Kotex could use this for their next ad.

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RE: Dear Kotex - 8/17/2006 8:55:00 AM

LotusSong

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I see a new add: "Kotex.. it's not just for crotches anymore!"

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