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Voltare -> RE: I think I need a refresher course (8/17/2006 12:39:35 PM)
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angelbebe,
Having had my share of lumps online, I'll offer a few bits of refreshment:
First, the guy you're talking to. The fact that you're feeling more then a little cautious (enough to post the question asking about him) tells me he's probably a dud. The not asking for pictures thing is important, but like it or not, if you want something real life with anyone from the internet, you're going to have to know what he looks like. You wouldn't think twice about someone wanting to know what you look like if you met him at a bar or coffee shop, why should it matter on the net? Pictures matter. Anyone who says otherwise is selling you something. Beyond that, the asking about your 'specific' location, when you don't know his real name, isn't right. If I were a woman, I wouldn't give my address out until I had met the guy in public already. He's not a cable TV repairman, he's a potential Dominant. Most importantly, I wouldn't worry about him knowing your number or any other info you've given him - internet predators typically need a really good reason to chase someone in real life, something beyond a passing interest online. That he cant remember general details about you, suggest that he's probably talking to several other women as well, and just can't keep them straight.
Second, as for meeting people in general, there's simply a question of building trust. If you can't trust the people you are talking to online, then you simply can't meet them. That works both ways. If you can't trust a person to send your photo, or he can't trust you to send his, then face it - you're probably never going to actually meet real time, and that's that. It isn't a question of playing beauty queen, or cyber sex crap, it's simply an issue of getting to know the person. Telling someone the name of the town you're from is usually safe (that kind of information can be extracted just from an email, after all). Same with general information about yourself; name, age, type of work you do, number of kids, interests, hobbies, etc etc - after all, these are the basic elements of who we are, and are absolutely vital to any type of relationship. You don't have to tell him (at first anyway) the actual company, your work number, your street address, your last name, your kids names, or anything else that you don't feel 100% comfy telling. The truth is, time will show that the person is actually someone you should or shouldn't trust. Above all, just try to make friends first. Leave the romance out of the chat until you feel like you really have a good idea of who the guy really is.
Hope that helps.
Stephan
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