Springer

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LTRsubNW -> Springer (8/17/2006 2:36:28 PM)
Now, we can all have our opinions, but, I still have a few very basic questions: 1) Where the hell do they find these people? 2) Where the hell can I find one of these women (and can I send her back when I'm done)? 3) If I find one of these people, am I allowed to shoot them on sight? 4) I'm not a man who has had sex with his uncle (but truly wanted to be with my Aunt, but didn't choose that option because my sister is carrying my child), sooooo...I'd like to get some advice on how I can retain my maiden name if I don't work at The Waffle House? 5) I've never been to jail, is it still possible to marry one of my In Laws?

Dauric -> RE: Springer (8/17/2006 3:18:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LTRsubNW Now, we can all have our opinions, but, I still have a few very basic questions: 1) Where the hell do they find these people? Jerry springer retains a crack squad of spec-ops trained freakshow enthusiasts. They are capable of finding "these people" in the most adverse circumstances, blending in to the natural terrain before striking, usually with tranquelizer darts, but occaasionally bludgeons, or a simple cage-trap baited with cheeze-filled pork-rinds. quote: 2) Where the hell do I find one of these women (and can I send her back when I'm done)? UnstableFreakShowWhores-R-Us (tm). You can't get your money back but they will accept a return for store credit, pro-rated of course. quote: 3) If I find one of these people, am I allowed to shoot them on sight? No. They're an endangered species. quote: 4) I'm not a man who has had sex with his uncle (but truly wanted to be with my Aunt, but didn't choose that option because my sister is carrying my child), sooooo...I'd like to get some advice on how I can retain my maiden name if I don't work at The Waffle House? A squad is being dispatched to your house as we speak. quote: 5) I've never been to jail, is it still possible to marry one of my In Laws? You're your own grandpaw. $0.02, Dauric.

LTRsubNW -> RE: Springer (8/17/2006 3:30:06 PM)
I am soooooo fucked. (I once visited Arkansas).

MizSuz -> RE: Springer (8/17/2006 4:05:57 PM)
So - the REAL question is: quote: If your momma and daddy get divorced will they still be brother and sister?

LTRsubNW -> RE: Springer (8/17/2006 4:30:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MizSuz So - the REAL question is: quote: If your momma and daddy get divorced will they still be brother and sister? I don't appreciate you talking about my niece like that.

Arpig -> RE: Springer (8/17/2006 5:48:43 PM)
Now you all hush-up!!! Uncle Daddy is tryin to woo your little sister!

Arpig -> RE: Springer (8/17/2006 5:50:36 PM)
oooo ooooo ooooo [:D] A Joke!!!! What did the female Springer guest say on when she woke up? "Get off me Dad, you're crushing my smokes"

Dauric -> RE: Springer (8/17/2006 6:05:39 PM)
Mind you, when introduced to bondage, Springer guests give entirely new meaning to "Family Ties." $0.02 Dauric.

gooddogbenji -> RE: Springer (8/17/2006 6:15:06 PM)
Sorry, but I had to look this one up again. I hate copying and pasting long shit like this, but this is too good. Jerry Springer Show Application Last name: ________________ First name: (Check appropriate box) (_) Billy-Bob (_) Billy-Joe (_) Billy-Ray (_) Billy-Sue (_) Billy-Mae (_) Billy-Jack What does everyone call you? (_) Booger (_) Bubba (_) Junior (_) Sissy (_) Other___________________ Age: ____ (if unsure, guess) _____ Not sure Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right Occupation: (Check appropriate box) (_) Farmer (_) Mechanic (_) Hair Dresser (_) Unemployed (_) Dirty Politician (_) Preacher (_) Strip Dancer (_) Hooker Spouse's Name:_________________________ 2nd Spouse's Name:______________________ 3rd Spouse's Name:______________________ Lover's Name:___________________________ Relationship with spouse: (Check appropriate box) (_) Sister (_) Brother (_) Aunt (_) Uncle (_) Cousin (_) Mother (_) Father (_) Son (_) Daughter (_) Pet Number of children living in household: _____ Number of children living in shed: ______ Numbers that are yours: ______ Mother's Name: _______________________ (If not sure, leave blank) Father's Name: _______________________ (If not sure, leave blank) Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed) Total number of vehicles you own: ___ Number of vehicles that still crank: ___ Number of vehicles in front yard: ___ Number of vehicles in back yard: ___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks: ___ Do you have a gun rack? If no, please explain: Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to: (_) The National Enquirer (_) The Globe (_) TV Guide (_) Soap Opera Digest (_) Rifle and Shotgun Number of times you've seen a UFO:_____ Number of times in the last 5 years you've seen Elvis:_____ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO:_____ How often do you bathe: (_) Weekly (_) Monthly (_) Not Applicable Colour of eyes: Right_____ left_____ Colour of hair: (_) Blond (_) Black (_) Red (_) Brown (_) White (_) Clairol Colour of teeth: (_) Yellow (_) Brownish-Yellow (_) Brown (_) Black (_) N/A Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer: (_)Red-Man How far is your home from a paved road? (_) 1 mile (_) 2 miles (_) Just a whoop-and-a-holler! (_) road?

littleone2serve -> RE: Springer (8/17/2006 6:20:57 PM)
Speaking of Springer, he is going to be on Dancing With The Stars. My jaw just about hit the floor when I found out. LOL

Termyn8or -> RE: Springer (8/17/2006 7:39:35 PM)
If I were on Springer.......if you only knew. T

LotusSong -> RE: Springer (8/17/2006 7:52:43 PM)
I hear they are the result of a secret government study . It was a gene study gone awry.

Termyn8or -> RE: Springer (8/17/2006 10:53:42 PM)
WAIT A MINUTE ! What's this I heard about cheese filled pork rinds ? Where do you get those ? T

BrutalAntipathy -> RE: Springer (8/17/2006 11:12:37 PM)
I think there is a market for vegetable flavored pork rinds, for those that want to eat healthy, but just can't force themselves to. They could have lettuce, tomato, cucumber, and carrot flavored pork rinds. Maybe toss them in a bowl with regular pork rinds ( marketed as bacon flavored! ), add ranch dressing, and have a pork rind salad.

Dauric -> RE: Springer (8/17/2006 11:35:45 PM)
It's a secret weapon of the JSCT (Jerry Springer Collection Teams). Using the highest advancements in "Those People" psycology ot gather the most appealig flavors in to a sinlge high-efficiency bait. Mind you, I'm prettuy sure there must be a few mom-and-pop resturaunts in the south that have something similar. $0.02 Dauric.

reversecuckold -> RE: Springer (8/17/2006 11:40:23 PM)
There was a news related thing a few years ago stating that in some small community in like the upper midwest the locals are hired as "actors" for his show. Sounds about right to me. No way most of that could be real.

twicehappy -> RE: Springer (8/18/2006 3:33:31 AM)
Sorry i thought this thread was about springer front ends......

LadyJulieAnn -> RE: Springer (8/18/2006 6:19:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LTRsubNW Now, we can all have our opinions, but, I still have a few very basic questions: 1) Where the hell do they find these people? 2) Where the hell can I find one of these women (and can I send her back when I'm done)? 3) If I find one of these people, am I allowed to shoot them on sight? 4) I'm not a man who has had sex with his uncle (but truly wanted to be with my Aunt, but didn't choose that option because my sister is carrying my child), sooooo...I'd like to get some advice on how I can retain my maiden name if I don't work at The Waffle House? 5) I've never been to jail, is it still possible to marry one of my In Laws? 1) You find them in a rural area of Virginia. 2) You can find her in a rural area of Virginia. You can send her back when you're done, but you then must appear on Maury to be paternity tested. 3) You can shoot them on sight, but then you get accused of being just like that guy from the Jenny Jones Show 4) I'd suggest that you post this question in the "Really, really bad advice" thread 5) Just one? Why not go for two?

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