Am I overly paranoid?

Am I overly paranoid? (Full Version)

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keptcaged -> Am I overly paranoid? (8/18/2006 7:07:54 AM)
Mistresses, i have a question. Here on Collarme i met a phenomenal Mistress. We have sessioned in Her dungeon in Her home and i have done slave chores for Her at Her home. However, i am concerned. She lives in a very nice n'hood in the burbs, She has kids whose names She has told me. Near Her house is an elementary school. One day it occured to me how one troublesome neighbor or one pissed off sub could bring holy hell down on Her and possibly all of Her subs (our signed waivers are on file at Her house) if they wanted to. She may be doing nothing illegal, but it seems to me that the shit that could hit the fan could be huge. I really want to go back to Her but I am afraid to go back or even contact Her by email, and really wish my signature was not in her files. Thoughts? keptcaged

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Am I overly paranoid? (8/18/2006 7:11:15 AM)
You're absolutely right, that could happen. But the reality is that the risk is inherent anywhere else you would go also. If she's been around this long to have a fairly established system, then it's likely to continue. Your choice is to accept the risk or just not get involved in this sort of relationship anymore. There's a reason so few male subs come back after their first taste with someone- this is a big reason why.

BrokenDoll -> RE: Am I overly paranoid? (8/18/2006 7:36:03 AM)
Ok even if she has your signature on file the fact is she isnt doing anything outlawed by haveing her dungon there are many public ones out there so even if it was descoverd they wouldnt be going through her files to track you down by your signature I dont think

LadyEllen -> RE: Am I overly paranoid? (8/18/2006 7:44:21 AM)
If it got out, then yes there could be problems for her - but I dont see how that would necessarily mean problems for you? Unless you're some public figure or the tabloids get hold of her clients' names, why would anyone be interested in you as one of the "victims" of her "sordid house of evil"? Authorities will likely be too busy investigating her. You would probably be asked to give a statement about her and her activities - there is a danger there of being outed by some idiot showing up at your door asking questions in the wrong way, (ie in front of others), and there is a slight chance of being prosecuted for commissioning or procuring another to commit an offence (ie assault) - or the US equivalent of that. You should of course tell the truth, but then there's the truth and the truth - all you did was some housework for instance, and its not illegal for her to have a cleaner or for the cleaner to work naked or whatever...... I would ask though, what the point of these waivers are exactly? Not sure the position in the US, but in the UK it is not possible in law to waive liability for personal injury or death, and if that is the same in the US then these waivers that are being signed are worthless. Personal injury includes lasting marks from whatever means and with whatever motive they were made, and regardless of the "victim" having put themselves in a position to receive them - in the UK anyway. This would mean that she is basically compiling a list of clients which might subsequently bring down all hell on her and them, but which is otherwise of no value. (example - a burglar breaks into your house, he trips on an electric wire and breaks his arm - the householder is liable - these are the crazy laws we have in the UK!). E

BrokenDoll -> RE: Am I overly paranoid? (8/18/2006 7:47:28 AM)
BDSM weavers or contract have no legal standing in the USA

joyinslavery -> RE: Am I overly paranoid? (8/18/2006 8:07:47 AM)
I'm a little confused about what the concern is too (?). If she's a pro, I can see where that might be a (legal) problem for her and possibly get a little sticky for you. Generally though, I guess we all run the risk of being 'outed' to others that may not approve of WIITWD. I will say that I've never liked the idea of waivers or contracts for this very reason. Seems like a bad idea to me to have signed documentation readily available for anyone to see and possibly use against you. Have you considered asking her for it? If it makes you uncomfortable, perhaps you could explain that to her with a request she turn over the signed waiver to you. Give it a shot. edited because I can't spell.

MisPandora -> RE: Am I overly paranoid? (8/18/2006 10:26:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: keptcaged Mistresses, i have a question. Here on Collarme i met a phenomenal Mistress. We have sessioned in Her dungeon in Her home and i have done slave chores for Her at Her home. However, i am concerned. She lives in a very nice n'hood in the burbs, She has kids whose names She has told me. Near Her house is an elementary school. One day it occured to me how one troublesome neighbor or one pissed off sub could bring holy hell down on Her and possibly all of Her subs (our signed waivers are on file at Her house) if they wanted to. She may be doing nothing illegal, but it seems to me that the shit that could hit the fan could be huge. I really want to go back to Her but I am afraid to go back or even contact Her by email, and really wish my signature was not in her files. Thoughts? keptcaged You've not clarified this, but there are a few things that could go horribly wrong, especially if she's doing this as a pro. Kids hear or find out, or even come across SM stuff in the house -- they tell someone and they call Child Protective Services. Boom, she loses her kids and is potentially in alot of legal trouble. If she's doing it pro and gets busted by a neighbor (usually because of annoyance traffic and strangers coming in and out of the house), all sorts of things could go legally wrong for her. In some states, that includes felony forfeiture of property/vehicles, obviously the children being placed into state care, arrests for prostitution (depending on the local laws), or hell, even IRS issues with tax evasion or problems with the local government for business licenses and occupational use violations. I think she's got far more to worry about than you. However, if your name is on a document and you've got something to worry about privacy-wise (I'm assuming again here that you do....perhaps a wife doesn't know what you're doing?), then you may wish to rethink what you're doing. Think about what happens if there's an injury in the dungeon, or you get sick while you're there? And could you handle the cops getting a hold of those papers and calling each and every one of you guys snooping around your business and asking questions? If that's the sort of thing you can handle, then by all means, live that life. The multiple men thing also would lead me down the pathway of being concerned for my own health and well being, depending upon what activities were being done. But that's just me.....

MisPandora -> RE: Am I overly paranoid? (8/18/2006 10:28:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BrokenDoll BDSM weavers or contract have no legal standing in the USA They already HAVE in a court of law in the US this year. Check the news section of the boards for the whole thread.

tzndeny -> RE: Am I overly paranoid? (8/20/2006 7:52:27 AM)
This post makes a lot of sense. If your internal radar is signaling danger to you, heed it. Otherwise you will have to accept the risk of doing "business" in your current situation. How much can you afford to lose? Good luck.

Owned1 -> RE: Am I overly paranoid? (8/20/2006 5:07:43 PM)
I am in Ontario, there was a pro domme who was running her business out of her house in the burbs. It became known to the police who raided her house took all her equipment and charged her with prostitution. There was no sex involved in the business she ran. It was a mess in the papers and the courts for a number of years. Eventually she did win the case however to what cost both professionally as well personally? I believe you have a right to be concerned. Perhaps you could contact her and ask her to destroy any documentation with your name on it? If you are looking to pursue more than a paid relationship with her this is something you would need to discuss with her and sort out the particulars. Owned

bignipples2share -> RE: Am I overly paranoid? (8/21/2006 12:28:47 AM)
Heaven forbid anything ever happens to the woman that has nothing to do with the lifestyle. Those names she's keeping will be the top suspects. ~Big

mons -> RE: Am I overly paranoid? (8/27/2006 1:54:03 AM)
*greetings* i am a domme i live near a school hell i worked at a school for 14 years what is you problem? i do not understand you concern? this is not anything to do with little ones are you saying she does or is it just the thought of the school. you have not made sense on this one. so what she has slaves in her home so what it is near a school what does this have to do with being scared what have you seen to make you fear the niebhor, *you see you brought you something but left something out she is a domme not a person who is in to the little ones stop and think no one know and could care least she is a domme you need to tell more* *mons*

MistressMaamNH -> RE: Am I overly paranoid? (8/27/2006 3:20:33 AM)
you would have to check your local laws, but I do not believe there is an anti-BDSM law similar to the anti-drug law that states you cannot practice BDSM within so many feet of a school. It is not likely there is a "No BDSM" buffer zone as there is with the sale/use of drugs. As for the basic laws, prostitution, assault/battery, those all still apply, and some law enforcement agencies can get their knickers all in a twist when they hear about a Dungeon or playplace. MMNH

DivaDuchess -> RE: Am I overly paranoid? (8/27/2006 10:31:12 AM)
In many states in the US, you would definitely have to worry about assault/battery charges, yes. The prostitution charge would have to find exchanges of cash for sex. Try the barter system for payment lol ... kidding. Almost 3 years ago the Supreme Court in the US ruled that what goes on in the home, stays in the home. Many a very good attorney (I have one, if you need HER, let me know giggles), will use that when they walk in the door. Unless the neighbor has pictures of your 'play' ... they don't have a leg to stand on. The attorney will supeona records like ... right away, if there is no evidencury photos or statements of outward abuse ... usually (big word here) ... drop all charges. As for the contract and waiver issues ... no such thing holds up in the US. Mostly it's to lay out the agreement between 2 or more persons. A nice thing to have but not really worth the paper it's printed on legally. Just my 2 cents

Lordandmaster -> RE: Am I overly paranoid? (8/27/2006 10:35:56 AM)
I'm confused. What exactly are you concerned about? Can you state a specific scenario, for example? We're not YET at the point that people's homes get raided by the FBI because they practice kinky sex in a house that happens to be located near an elementary school.

MisstressStella -> RE: Am I overly paranoid? (8/27/2006 7:44:02 PM)
Something is raising red flags for you. Is your gut telling you this is a bad idea? I always so go with your gut. Now factually, you really don't have an issue to be concerned about. UNLESS........ the sessions are taking place while her kids are in the home. There are legal concerns there by the kids being exposed to an alternative lifestyle. That would of course depend on the local laws. If you are not paying her as a Pro, I really don't see any issues for you as the sub. The only gray zone maybe her personal children being in the home or possibly having knowledge of it. That is again more an issue for her as their mother. As I said before, go with your gut sugar...... Lady Stella

deadlyangel -> RE: Am I overly paranoid? (9/28/2006 2:37:56 PM)
The simple fact that she has signed waivers causes concern to me. What do these waivers state? Do you have a waiver with her signature on it?? Personally I would be concerned about recording devices in her house. How do you know that these sessions of yours have not been recorded or even video taped to be sold or viewed by others?

mons -> RE: Am I overly paranoid? (9/30/2006 3:17:40 AM)
greetings what are you talking of ? i live never a school does this mean i am bad or have eveil thoughts what are you talking of who would even think to do this? why would a niegbohor or a submissvie want to do this not everyone has it in their mind to even think of what you have gather in your mind it makes no sense at all for you to go on like you know something we do not . it is so strange for you to say this many people write here but never heard this before way what is going on too make you even think this bbizzard thing tell us please many of us live near schools or library's or all kinds of places. you need to maybe rethink you own thought no disrepect but hey ????????? mons

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