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ORIGINAL: WhipTheHip

Hi Sunshine,
 
>  I don't think I'd be with a "real" sexual sadist.  I want someone who is in control all the time.
 
I'm a real sexual sadist, and I am in control all the time, and have been my entire life.  Even
when I was a child, I was always responsible.  That doesn't mean I wasn't a little wild. I 
still am.  But I always know where to draw the line.   I am not driven by my emotions or
my sexual cravings, but by my intellect and by my principles.  I indulge my sexual cravings
if I find a willing partner.  I do get pleasure from giving pleasure, but I get more pleasure
from giving real pain.   Yet, I don't engage in edge play.  I never draw blood.  I don't use
needles or puncture the skin.  I don't do anything that would leave permanent marks.  
I don't engage in scat.  

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Some Doms are emotional sadists.  I on the other hand can't tolerate anyone
experiencing emotional pain.  I feel the emotional pain of others as acutely as
they do.  So, the last thing I would want to cause anyone or any sub is emotional
pain.  When anyone experiences emotional pain, my first reaction is to comfort
them.  

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Please don't confuse sexual sadist with non-sexual sadist.  I don't get off
on seeing people suffer pain.   Seeing a dentist drill in someone's tooth, makes
me feel pain.   I am a vegetarian because I don't want any animal to suffer for my
pleasure.  I have sacraficed a great deal to help people in need,  and to rescue
dogs, cats, turtles, and birds.

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> and doesn't ever give into the violence often associated with extreme sadism. 
 
Somehow, it sounds to me like you are confused.  I am not a violent person.
The thought of violence nauseates me.  I don't watch violent television shows
or violent movies.  I am squimish and faint at the sight of blood.  
 
> Many "real" sexual sadists are in jail for non consensual acts. 

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Many "real," dominant, aggressive people are in jail for non-consensual
act.  I readily admit to having all kinds of non-consensual fantasies, just
like many females have non-consensual rape fantasies.   If I hadn't been
brought up the way I had, if I didn't have the moral principles I have, if I
didn't fear and respect the law, if I wasn't good-natured,  I could easily
be a criminal.

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If my grandmother had testicles she would have been
my grandfather.  

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The truth is you would be hard-pressed to find other
males as sweet, as loving, as sensitive, as caring, as comforting,
as kind, as compassionate, as moral as I am.  My life is not centered
around fullfilling my sexual appetite, but helping others and lessening
human and animal suffering.  I don't see how being a real sexual
sadist makes me a bad personl.  People should be judged by what
they do, not what they fantasize about, and not what they desire.

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> I am a maschochist, but not extreme.
 
I am a sadist, but not extreme.  I fantasize extreme things. 
Don't a lot of females fantasize being raped?  Don't masochists
fantasize having a lot of extreme things being done to them?
As a sado-masochist, I fantasize having a lot of extreme things
done to me.  That doesn't mean I would ever really allow
these things to be done.   Just because we enjoy something
in a fantasy does not mean we would enjoy it in reality. Can't
we seperate fantasy from reality? 

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I just wish to add I get sexual pleasure from
sexual sadism.   Someone who just gets pleasure
from inflicting pain is a sadist, and that is a 
major symptom of a personality disorder.