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RE: Wants advise on first email to potential domme - 8/20/2006 10:47:17 PM

joyinslavery

Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
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Whatever you do, don't send a one-liner that says somthing akin to: "Hey, whaz up B?"

I've tried it and (surprisingly) it doesn't work.

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"...we must learn, each one of us, that the world was not made for us, and that, however beautiful may be the things we crave, Fate may nevertheless forbid them."
-Bertrand Russell

Mainstream...The New Alternative

*Beware of dog*

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RE: Wants advise on first email to potential domme - 8/21/2006 4:27:28 PM

jonathan

Posts: 196
Joined: 8/5/2004
Status: offline

If She has taken the time to be specific about what She seeks, then if you have any hope of a genuine chance you'd better pay attention and do as She says. It's been known to work occasionally. The thing to avoid is the attitude that objectifies Her. Such as trite one-liners, "do me" lists, duplicate or form letter responses, not knowing how to write a proper letter with salutation, body, and closing, and overly familiar language. It's possible to be polite without being rigid or falling into vernacular language. you're trying to convince Her that your mind might be interesting to Her.

i think the most amusing post i saw on this thread was the one where She received a nice message, but the salutation was to another Domme. uh, oops?! And how fast did She hit 'delete'?

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jonathan
http://www.slaveregister.com/000-515-587

"But in purple, i am stunning!"
"Before You slip into unconsciousness, i'd like to have another kiss, another flashing chance at bliss, another kiss, another kiss"

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RE: Wants advise on first email to potential domme - 8/22/2006 6:39:45 AM

WifeBoyWannabee

Posts: 12
Joined: 7/3/2006
Status: offline

Hey JoyinSlavery, The other bad line in vanilla dating is "hey didn't i see you win the wet t-shirt contest last night?"

(in reply to jonathan)

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RE: Wants advise on first email to potential domme - 8/22/2006 6:35:28 PM

ladylexington

Posts: 117
Joined: 6/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MysticFireTopaz

One thing I particularly dislike is a mass-mailed form letter. There are subs who send out the same e-mail in enormous quantities. I have compared notes with some Domme friends, and they got the exact same message, word for word.

That happened to me too. I was talking on the phone with another Domme, and we received the same e-mail within minutes. Oddly enough, when I sent the sub a note mentioning the concidence, he didn't reply back.

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If you must gamble your lives sexually, don't play a lone hand too much. -- Mark Twain

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RE: Wants advise on first email to potential domme - 8/22/2006 6:50:23 PM

MySweetSubmssive

Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline

Notice who I am as an individual, not just a dominant. Read my profile and respond to it intelligently (which also means not responding if you are clearly outside of who I am looking for).

This seems like common sense to me, but given the responses I've gotten, it isn't that common.

I find it a bit maddening when men want to worship me, but don't want to respect me and my wishes (i.e. married men getting in touch when I'm clear that I don't want that). The responsible submissive men end up suffering for this lack of respect.

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"Oh, James, you're such a cunning linguist."

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RE: Wants advise on first email to potential domme - 8/24/2006 2:10:50 PM

Mistress160

Posts: 4
Joined: 8/21/2006
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There are two extremely good articles online about how to make successful "first contact" with a Mistress:

1) "How to Woo a Domme online" on the Downonmyknees website:
(http://www.downonmyknees.com/archives/bdsm_ds_sm_speculations/how_to_woo_a_domme_online.php)

2) a long response by Trixie to a post like this on the OrgasmDenial website, under the thread "Advice on applications to a Mistress" (you will need to sign up as a member to access this:
http://www.orgasmdenial.com/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&t=3608).

The first is written by a sub, the second by a Mistress, and between the two (and their attached comments) everything important is covered. I advise all subs who email me to read these prior to contacting me again. I also advise them to fill in their profile. On my own profile I have added a "note to subs wishing to apply to serve" which refers to both these articles ... it works some of the time lol! But joking and irritation at the receipt of mass unsolicited and irritating emails aside, I can't stress enough the importance of getting that first contact right. As Trixie writes in "Advice on applications to a Mistress" on OrgasmDenial, "an application to a Mistress is a most important one in the life of a slave. If it is botched, his life may very well end up in frustration and loneliness".

Mistress 160
Oz
"there is nothing quite so dangerous as a compassionate Mistress"

(in reply to MySweetSubmssive)

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RE: Wants advise on first email to potential domme - 8/24/2006 6:02:47 PM

chgosubmale

Posts: 34
Joined: 6/9/2004
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One other piece of advice: be honest. Don't try to so tailor your response to her profile that you end up glossing over or omitting key information that might be a dealbreaker. If there is some area where you don't match what she's seeking, highlight it and explain why you are writing and think there might be a good match anyway. Getting rejected is not the worst of things. Wasting both her time and yours on something that is doomed to fail from the start is far worse.

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Post #: 27